Monday, December 21, 2009

Confessions of (Former) People Pleaser

I usta to live my life for other folks. I mean like really totally make decisions about my life based on what other folks thought was right for me. It sounds incredibly asinine as I sit here and type this out. I usta live my life based on what others thought I should be doing, others who were not me, others who didn't even really know me (not that it makes a difference), others who were trying to rectify or live their life through me.

I mean I am SO SERIOUS y'all. I usta live my life in order to make other people happy, all the while I was fair to midland about my choices at best. I'm not gonna lie to make this post seem more empowering, I mean for the most part living my life for others was not really bad, however it wasn't great either. And really I had no idea how much it sucked monkey ballz until I started living my life for me and doing what I wanted to do, with out any apologies to anyone for doing anything that they might not agree with.

I mean what your looking at now is the life of a number one, self –identified, people pleaser in remission, I dare not say former. Yes sir, someone who asks the question what would so and so feel if I did this. Yes ma'am the girl who focus is external and very rarely internal. I think I really get/got this bullshyt from my mom, the whole selfless martyr…sacrifice for the greater good BS. When I look back at my life and recollect my first true years of adulthood, I was not free. I didn't make decisions for me or because of my dreams. I simply lived a life that the people around me thought I should live.

I didn't go to Stanford because my mother was a single mom and I got a free ride to the local university. I mean really WHAT WAS I THINKING!! (Well, at least I don't have a lot of college debt because of that one).

I didn't move to NYC when I was 21 to work for the Women's Sports Foundation in Long Island, because my then boyfriend was going to miss me and more importantly no one told me I could do it. Everyone just sat around and said girl you not ready to live in NY . That city will eat you alive. I so could have made it there.

I got married because I had a college degree, solid career, and well a husband and a family is what I should want next, right? So I got one. Never mind the fact that I never wanted a husband as a little girl, or even planned a wedding for my Barbies. My Barbie was doing Samantha Jones things long before Candace Bushnell penned it. However I chunked up the deuce to what I considered a great single life to be domestic. I was good at being a domestic for the most part, just terribly unhappy living life as what I thought married life should be like, instead of creating and defining married life for me and mine.

At least I didn't fall for the you two should have a baby pressure levied on me in 2003, or I'd probably be sitting here married and miserable for the sake of my 2.5 upperwardly mobile spoiled brats. I must admit I almost did though. 6 months before my marriage went POOF we were talking ovulation and body temperature.

I said all that to say that the most important decision I made in my life happened in the first decade of the 2000's one that was not a minute too soon and perhaps a few moments too late. I mean if I had this epiphany earlier in life, well actually let's not speculate that because things happen when they are supposed to happen and when we are ready for them.

I'm telling you the single best decision I ever made for myself was to do me. Like honestly and truly do me and let everyone else adjust. Say what I want and let the chips fall where they may. Stop trying to be the picture of what I think a young black successful black woman looks like and just live my life. Define my joy. Define my happiness. Define what I think is cool and most of all, have no regrets about what ever it is I decide to do.

When I was younger I was always trying to figure out what I needed to do to make others feel comfy or proud. These days I really don't care to much about what folks say (even the folks who birth me and birthed those that birthed me). I have learned that just as I give unconditional love I deserve to receive it back. And sure I don't plan on getting caught in any TRULY embarrassing situations, I realize now even if I do and I'm wrong, my family and my framily are still gonna love me. They might give me a hard time about it, but they are gonna love me. That right there means a lot.

Sometimes in life we don't get to be who we are with out judgment or hate. However sometimes in life there are enough people in our corner that we feel okay about being the person we want to be, no matter how crazy and far fetched that is. I'm blessed to be one of those people.

Not sure what inspired this dump of Free to be Me today. Maybe someone needed to read it or maybe I needed to write it, to remember unconditional love is the greatest gift of all. ALL DAY!! E'RRY DAY!

Be EZ,


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Lessons Learned for 2009

Ok I'm trying to post something for the people. And since we've (yeah me and the frog in my pocket and half the blogsphere) have been talking about what SBFs need to do to get a husband (if you want one) I thought I'd share my list of lessons learned (RE-learned) in the '09. I mean really the first thing you need to do before you get a mate period is work on you. I mean a healthy and happy relationship only happens when two healthy and happy people are involved. I know it's a cop-out doing list but that's just where I am in this blog game right now. Y'all have a happy holiday (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever else people celebrate this time of year). I hope to post one mo' gin...but I makes NO promises EVER. Here's what was going down for me in the life lessons of 2009 (in no particular order).

Happiness is a decision

I am the captain of my own ship

There is very little difference between being the victim and a self-proclaimed "savior"

It's him (her or them), not me. Nothing is "wrong" with me.

I have control of how I let things affect me.

You can't make someone be a better person if they are NOT interested in being a better person.

If you want something you must put effort into it, things don't just happen.

It's bigger than me.

I am worth it. And no one is worth more or less than me.

Its ok to feel whatever I feel…just feel it.

Loving is not the problem, making sure someone is "worth" loving is the solution.

Live life right now, not because what has happened or what you want to happen.

Be EZ,


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Especially for Women Over 35

I find it absophuckinglutely hysterical that my first post in over six months, my don't call it a comeback post, my my blogs are so effective I can skip 6 months post , my my twitterfam is on my back to blog post, my Blueprint 3 post, my bytch it is about phucking time you post something post would be inspired by the disclaimer on a Nuvaring commercial (is that even how you spell it? I am not really that familiar with any of these NEW fashioned birth controls…pills, pullin' out, and condoms is all I've ever used, not in that particular order.). Anyway one never knows when and where the inspiration to get back in this blog game will come or why.

I mostly write for me, so blogging ain't that serious. I got a gig that I love and pays the bills and for the most part I like my life of anonymity. Not that I'm doing a whole lotta of anything, but something comforts me about the fact that if I beat the shyt out of my husband with his golf club at our mansion and he wrecks his Escalade trying to make the great escape that only about a handful of people would know and less than that would care past a casual mention during a lengthy gossip session. "Girl did you here about the G's. That's a adman shame. Who's on Wendy today! I just LUV her fabulous azz! "

Or if I got into a fight with my boyfriend and he whupped my azz, like I came at im with a phucking golf club.And I went back to him and loved on him it would be nothing but a stupid move, and not a move that would threaten MY multi-million dollar empire. I like to think that the threat to my self respect and mental/physical well being would be the only threat I needed to move along. I mostly said all that to make myself feel better for not blogging for the 12 people who read me. I'm sorry you had to wait so long. I'll try to do better if… BET does…no I promise to.

On to my main reason for blogging, I was in my bathroom brushing the shyt outta my teeth when just as the SonicCare stops running the part in the disclaimer for the NuvaRing comes on that inspired all kinds of post teeth brushing thought! (There is not a lot you can do after brushing your teeth when you man ain't home.) You know where they tell you about all the crazy shyt that goes along with female contraception and you should be careful if you smoke using this product and do NOT take/use this at all if you smoke and are over 35 (Unless you'd rather risk a blood clot, heart attack and dying than have Dwayne's 15th child with yo' OLD azz).

When it hit me…I'm that bytch, the one that is over 35. And there are a lot of things that women over 35 should NOT be doing (like wearing many of the wigs and clothes that Janice Combs seems so fond of) a lot more than not using birth control when she's a smoker.

Do not get me wrong I LOVE being over 35. I really enjoy being a grown ass woman with herstory. I love the view from here and the lessons and blessing that have come with my 36 years on this earth. And if you know me I'm pretty much an open book you get what you see. I have no regrets about anything or anyone everything that has happened to me needed to happen to make me the me I am today. And I like me. Which a times has been something that was hard for me.

Anyway how did I get here, see this is what happens when you don't practice your craft. You wax on about some bullshyt trying to be cute.

Look it's the end of the year and I'm a fine wine (you know better with time) so here are a few pearls of wisdom for anyone who wants them. And the comments are always open for you to share yours with me.

  • Do not worry about what other people are thinking or saying about you, DO YOU, especially women over 35.
  • Do not sleep with him for any reason except that is what your hot fiery loins want you to do, especially women over 35.
  • Please do not wait for someone/something to be right, get right, do right before you LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE, especially women over 35.
  • Accept complete responsibility for your actions no matter how scandalous they are or are not, especially women over 35.
  • Don't spend your life being angry or mad or hurt over some shyt that is over. Once you get over it be DONE. Don't hit reverse to see how sturdy the bridge you built to get over it is, live in the now, especially women over 35.
  • Control is for remotes, realize that the only control you have in life is over how you deal with things that happen to you, especially women over 35.
  • Always remember not to apply the past to the present because it will phuck up your future, especially women over 35.
  • You should not be in love with the idea of a person (you know a person with intentions, or potential or usta to be a good person) if you do not love that person for who they are flaws and all then you should be moving around looking for the next one, especially women over 35.
  • Never feel bad for being who YOU are, you are the only one God made, especially women over 35.

Look, I could really go on for days and years and months because there are so many lessons I have learned in my 36 years on the scene (the majority looking fresh and clean!!) that I think should at least be repeated (or typed) out loud. I think the thing that makes me the saddest when I read blogs of younger women is sometimes they are still discussing and debating the same shyt my friends and I were discussing and debating 10 years ago before there were blogs to vent and hash on or the saddest when its women who are still my age OR OLDER discussing the same shyt we were discussing 10 years ago. Some of the discussion is promising like I see evolution, some of it is well…

Look man the J in my personality (as in ENFJ) says make a decision about the shyt digest it and move on to the next thing, all that discussion sometimes complicates it, especially for women over 35!!

Be EZ,


Monday, July 6, 2009

Holiday Haps!

OMG!! I LOOOOVE my family. The older I get the more I realize how truly I am blessed to be in my family. I LOVE my family I mean love I mean words can not begin to even minimally express the love gratitude and reverence I have for my family (both sides).

This holiday I went on vacation with my lil’ cousin ( who is also one of my best girlfriends), my best friend, their significant others and 7 kids (from 5-10). Yes I repeat 7 kids. Five 1-2-3-4-FIVEEEEEE boys and 2 girls. Man ….

My cousin is 25 and she has 7 year old little boy and she and her fiancĂ© wanted to take him on a family vacation. So she also decided to take 2 of my other cousins’ kids (3 extra kids plus hers). My best friend and her boyfriend brought her nephew who was visiting from Detroit on summer vacation, his 7 year old cousin, and our friend’s daughter. Yep… so we had a 10 year-old, a 9 year-old, 2 eight 8 year-olds, 2 seven year-olds, and a 5 year-old. WOW!! I got tired just typing that and I vacationed it.

Anyway we drove 5 plus hours to Brownsville to go to South Padre island. We couldn’t get any closer than Brownsville which is 30 minutes outside the island. We left Friday morning in a caravan to Brownsville. My new car was a hit by the way. It’s a touring edition so it’s made to be put on the road. The kids loved the GPS and the Bluetooth that made calls from home and the caravan ring through my radio speakers. We only had one disgruntled pent-up energy kid, “are we there yet” in my car. I was riding with the five year old and the two girls. And about an hour out the five year-old says, “We’ve been in this car for four days!!” Starting child chatter about how far they thought we were and then asking how far away where we. It was so cute.

We got to the hotel and did the normal adult scouting while my cousin’s fiancĂ© watched the gang as they played Wii and bounced off the walls from being inside a car for 5 plus hours. I dropped of two of my passengers and headed to Target with another when my BFF text me to come by her room and check out the letter “these kids gave me”. I returned to read a letter that said:

We want to go to the pool! We will not take no for an answer

It was signed by all of them, like the Declaration of Independence. The whole weekend was full of great kid stories like that. There was lots of energy, some trouble, and always a great time.

This trip was really special because although I always appreciated those trips that I went on with my aunties and family. I never realized how much work it really was. I mean this weekend was so exhausting the drive, the entertaining, the mothering, the being silly, the pool, the bowling, the beach, the traffic after the beach with small bladders, the movie watching, the showering and getting dressed , the bed wetting, the loving and the laughing. This weekend was so exhausting but the reward was so worth it. Just to see growth and exposure and memories being made in little minds was great. Some of the kids on trips come from home and places where going on a vacation is not an option in the summer. Being out of school is all the vacation they get unless; the whole family or another family member takes them on a trip. I was one of those kids. Since my family was close I was often the extra kid on one of my aunt’s vacation or paid for by the village on a family vacation.(meaning we got to ride in somebody’s car or share a hotel room or whatever). Sometimes my mom had money to pay her share and sometimes she didn’t but it was understood we would all be going. Even to this day my whole family packs up to go to our family reunion every two years in the designated location.

My dad’s sister paid for me to go to Disneyland on the church bus and countless other vacations. All those things all that exposure to things outside my small world of Baytown changed my life. So this weekend it was so humbling and truly an honor to pay that love forward to another generation. I mean I know I’ve been to nicer hotels and flier vacations than this. I’ve been on the Vegas strip, in Time Square, and on shores of foreign white sand beaches, but nothing compares to this vacation for me as an adult. It was one of my best ever. I wish they could bottle that kid energy. I hope you all as Happy a 4th as I did.

Be EZ,

Friday, June 26, 2009

What a Crazy Day

Wassup fam! Yesterday was quite a roller coaster of emotions for me. As you all know MJ went to meet his maker yesterday. I wonder how familiar he looked or warm his reception was considering the extensive changes he made to God's original version. Then before that Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer, I LOVED Charlie Angels. Then a day before Ed McMahon.

This death totally reminds me of Elvis. When I was little I remember the Elvis death. I'm not devastated like some people but man its pretty sad to me. Mike is not someone I know personally and in a lot of ways these last years of obscurity and eccentricity didn't make him a part of my everyday life. However, him being alive was like that old childhood blanket ( no pun intended) or stuffed animal stowed away in hope chest. Not in your day to day but never forgotten and always available. And actually even in death MJ is available. Thanks to his wonderful catalog of music. Michael has been a part of my life since I can remember. As a young G I danced with the Off the Wall Michael (he was standing up in that fold out so we could look at each other eye to eye (as opposed to Thriller where he was laying down...definitely not as cool to dance with!). Thriller Michael was the soundtrack to my 5th grade year. I jumped rope for heart to PYT. Knew the Beat It and Thriller routines by heart and in general was in out and out yellow sweater vest, jheri curl wearing, should stopped here rhinoplasty Michael. Man I remember my first day of sixth grade how this boy rocked the Beat It jacket all the girls swooned!

I remember in college I tried to be too cool for Mike but he got me. I think that was Dangerous...not sure on that one. Anyway as I was listening to the tributes on the radio I was just overwhelmed at the pure cottoness of Mike! Yep his music was definitely all cotton in my life. (as in the fabric of my life). Yep Mike's music was the fabric of my life. As for MJ the man I don't know I know he was accused for doing not so nice things with very nice lil' boys. I don't know if that's true or not. I just know that I pray he was in order.


In the 80's the Fawcett Flip had graduated into wings. You remember the wings from the 80's hair came out then flipped. Well Fawcett's famous flip was way better. It was a 70's staple and as a little black girl with a big black Afro a flip was not exactly in my life. However when a G got Old she adopt a few modern versions of that flip.

I mainly remember Farrah as an Angel, even though she was only an Angel for a year. I loved those Angels! I loved them way before Cameron shook her booty, Drew gave us her infectious smile, Lucy Lui fulfilled many men's Asian fetish fantasies, and Bey told me DC didn't know I could get down like that. Farrah as shown tremendous courage as she battle such a horrible cancer.

It comes and 3s

They say it comes in three who would have known that Ed McMahon would be joined by two other icons. Man I'm getting old. Someone on twitter said Ed McMahon went to heaven first so he could introduce Farrah Fawcett w/ musical guest Michael Jackson .

Tupac, Elvis, and Michael

I'm waiting for the Mike's not dead rumors to start. Come on you guys already know! I can't wait for the MJ sightings at Mickey D's ( Elvis got Burger King on lock). Do you think that marriages by MJ impersonators will go up. Crys maybe not a black Elvis now...maybe a Thriller error MJ.


I have so many MJ memories starting from being 5 dancing to the Jackson 5 with my aunts and mother to jamming him as an adult. He was about to do the comeback tour too!! MANE!! I stopped Stanning for Michael when he released Bad but I still loved the music. Even now as I write so many Jackson and Michael Jackson songs going through mind.

So what are your memories of King of Pop?

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Pure Randomness

Just a few random thoughts this Tuesday

  • I realize that there are certain types of men that my DNA is just drawn to no matter what (ie Derek Fisher he would be my number one type but there are so many others)
  • I also realize that there's more than one of those types
  • I also realize there are multiple exceptions and sometimes a man who is the physical archetype ends up being the mental one
  • The chase, you know the flirting that happens when you meet someone in a place you frequent, is fun. I forgot how fun maybe because college may have been the last time it's happened. Its like a romantic comedy.
  • I have an unnatural dislike for Kobe
  • I pretty sure it stems from how he handled the whole Shaq situation. Before then I didn't care for him but after I just didn't like him
  • Its unnatural because I do not know him from Adam and I normally don't care one way or the other about people I don't like
  • If you have time to not like someone you have way too much time on your hands. I barely have time to like/love the people in my world
  • When will some people realize that we all can be great, pretty, smart etc. You don't need to hate
  • Why is it so hot already in the H. Man, I miss the Bean big time now
  • God is so cool sometimes I will just stop and look at all the great things in my life and be like man how cool. If I were to tell the young OG or the teenage OG or even the early 20's OG that my life would be this and be this awesome none would believe.
  • I think I'm a connector socially

That's all for now I just wanted to blog at least once this week. Trying to get back in the habit of it all BARE with me.

Be EZ,


Sunday, May 31, 2009

Random Thoughts about Life!

Funny thing! I just gotta share. I think it is so funny that when you change how you live your life people react before trying to see if the change is positive. I've made changes in my life many times and the thing I realize is that some people don't like change because they believe it to be some kind of commentary on who they are and how they live instead of it being your personal statement on how you want to live your life. I think it also speaks to how well someone does or doesn't know you.

Things are always fine when you are doing things that they like but when you change into someone or something that they can't understand it can't be that you are different or you are changing it has to be that you are trying to be something you aren't. Maybe the truth is you are FINALLY being who you want to be rather than who they thought you were or wanted you to be. I'd have to say in this journey of life I've changed many times but this change has probably been the most healthiest. The last MAJOR change I had was before my divorce. The reaction to that was a bit insulting. I'd have to say for someone to say they knew you and loved you but then believe that your choices were influenced was a bit insulting. However at this end road with TOM A (#1) the thing I have to say is he respects my change as mine and not as me trying to keep up with the Joneses. And I love that about him and is why I will always love him and why we are friends. I guess I would have to say that I am so grateful for the life lessons being in love with him taught me and what loving him while being me (unapologeticly) has revealed to me. I think the most positive thing about us is seeing how much I have changed for the better.

I know I have talked about living my life for others and being the extreme people pleaser in my life before, but this split is the first time that I chose me right off the bat. Before I usta worry about what my choices would do to other people. However this time I learned that making that choice off the bat will save me years of unhappiness and going back in forth. If I had made a choice to go at the first sign of my unhappiness back in the day I would have many more days of happiness, but I do accept that for what ever reason I was not ready to venture down the road that I am on now.

Now I would be lying if I didn't say that being away from TOM A(#1) was not sad for me, but understanding that I was the one who controlled my ultimate happiness was the AHA MOMENT for me this time. The old me pre-marriage me, probably would have wasted way more of my life trying to please my way into happiness, not understanding that even though the happiness of the one you love is important your happiness is the most important. I spent life trying to please folks and not being happy and the minute I started putting the same effort into pleasing me was the minute I was happy. I am happy alone. And I have said this before but my worst day today when I feel the most hopeless and alone and unloved is still better than my best day when I was married to the wrong person because I thought I needed to follow what society said was necessary to be happy (ie college, marriage, and then kids...thank God I never got around to kids). I know that life is THE BEST when you are truly happy and that having someone just to have someone is not a good look.

The biggest thing for me this year was actually going to a therapist and getting confirmation about my thought patterns. The last time I "talked" to someone I wasn't as open. Some people want you to be miserable because you have chosen a life with out them, and to me that is a very sad state in life. I have always wished happiness for those who I parted ways with even through the pain of the hurt, disappointment or pain they caused me. I also have come to realize because some people are too small minded and myopic to wish you the same doesn't mean you have to be the same. I think hate should be met with love and I try, but sometimes its hard. Sometimes hate should just be ignored.

As a people pleaser the hardest thing has been accepting when people are not pleased with you, but that was my first step out of the shadow of living for others. Accepting that to some people you will always be the bad guy when you don't stay in the box they made for you. I also keep in the back of my head that the more I make my own shadow the more successful, happy and well adjusted I become. I also see the people who really love and appreciate me and my opinions whether we share the same one or not.

To me I'd have to say that is the best thing about my life now. The people who are in it let me be me no matter what that is and they don't chide or make fun or judge me for who I am. TOM A (#1) still talk and I would say we are still good friends. And to me that lets me know I am at least picking the right kind of men in my life now. No more men who behave like small children cause you didn't choose them. I think I love that the most about my life now.

When I was in the valley of this break-up I knew I would emerge a better person, but what I didn't know is that I would be thankful for it. Thankful that this time I made the right choice. That this time I would be excited about loving again and bringing me to a new relationship or friendship or anything. Almost giddy ready to learn from it with out worrying if it will last. I think pre-TOM A (#1) I was too caught up in how nasty the aftermath would be and now I am just excited about what it will be in the moments its happening. I really like that. I don't know if I would have been able to get here if TOM A (#1) wasn't who he was. I truly am grateful that despite us not working out that TOM A taught me how to take a risk and that I really am strong. I think that may have been the reason for us. Our demise made me work through some family issues and come to some revelations about who I am.

I like me and really that is all that counts. I mean I have always liked me, but I think before I liked me because I knew other people liked me. Now I like me regardless of what other people say or feel about me. If you think I'm a bytch then great I'll be that...if you think I'm a know-it-all then I'll be that...if you think I'm mean then I'll be that for you. However I will not be any of those things to me. I will be me which is a quirky mix of all the things that people love and hate about me. The minute you let other peoples opinions guide your decisions in life is the minute you stop living life.

Okay that is all I have for you this Sunday. Hope you guys had a great weekend and thanks for letting me share the things rambling in my mind on a lazy Sunday morning! Life is not a competition its an adventure just do you!!

Be EZ,

Monday, May 25, 2009

Getting Back Up

I have to say Keri and Kanye are right and sometimes love does INDEED knock you down. And the sad sad thing is when you both know that right now and maybe never that its not gonna work, that you need more than your love for each other to make it through. I've been spending time going through that and the getting back up has been a bytch. However I am glad to say that I am getting back up. I think I am in a new and better place. Its always been true for me that my mistakes in life have taught me for more about life and my inner stregnths than any of the great things that have happened. I would have to say that life is still good even though it has changed so drastically in a few months. I mean it has been tough being on the wrong side of my gamble and I will always love the first TOM A and I will always have some affection for him but right now it has to be about me. I said the first because there will be many more TOM As in my life remember it stands for The Object of My Affection. Well until I meet The One, which may or may not happen and that is fine with me. Having a loving and healthy relationship is not a requirement for my happiness. However that doesn't mean I would turn one down either.

You know its kinda sad, but I thought about this day, the day I could public say it's over. Sad because there was actually a point I couldn't say it, mostly because so much was right with us, but what what was wrong couldn't overcome it. Timing and circumstances are all things that have to be right and also you really can't love anyone until you love yourself. And sometimes the one who loves you can't wait for you to love you. Its funny I've never been on this side before. More than often looking back I can see there were men who had to let me go because despite all my good qualities I didn't love myself enough or really know who I was. I don't know if they loved me or even if they loved me more than I loved Tom A, so I can't say it was as hard for them, but I can say letting go before you are out of love is hard. Especially when you know they love you too. However the older I become the wiser I get and the more I know what I do and don't want. I also know a relationship can not be healthy unless both parties involved are healthy. So today I write because I am happy. I am happy I took a chance and I am happy that I loved. And the best thing is I am not sad or regretful on the other side of love. I am happy and hopeful.

Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down. Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down, knocks you down.

I'm back up and I'm so excited about my new life. My job has been taking a lot of time. I'm going on a business trip with our Executive VP so I am pretty stoked about that, mostly because it seems to be a big deal. I'm on several high profile projects and I am really hoping to turn this into a promotion by review time next year. I really love setting goals and working towards them so I'm good. I'm also planning on going to the 206 the summer to spend time with my favorite bus family. I also want to go somewhere tropical, but I'll save that until the winter.

I promise I am going to try to blog more but its a lot harder here at home. However I will try to check in more regularly than I have been. I miss blogging its definitely something I miss.

Proud to be an American

Last but not least, Happy Memorial Day especially to all the veterans and active soldiers, even though I may not support some of the wars being waged and that have been waged by America I APPRECIATE your service to allow me my freedoms as an American.

Be EZ,

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Celebrity Status!!

I normally don't post fuckery. I leave it to the pro's over at C&D and Beyonceitis and the like, however I need to share this with my blogbase. Look what's going on out there! You around here living a normal life and somewhere Seaborne is creating...creating...creating...CREATIONS.

Blame this all on CurvyGurl. She tweeted me this video and I have been clicking and clicking and clicking...It's like a train wreck SWEET GOD OH JEBUS!

On Malcolm's b-day I find this too! CELEBERTEEEEE STATUS (I know I know that's how I think it sounds when they say it!) That maybe my new catch phrase! I promise the next post will be about something. I hope.

Be EZ,

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

For Crys!

This blog is for the CRYStal METHod...peer pressure... peer pressure... peer pressure!

Man I really don’t have nothing to blog about, but if you watch my twitter feed on da side you see I has PLENTY to Tweet.

No on the real, life has been going. I’m going through some grown woman changes and it’s good. The thing about growing is sometimes it hurts. I mean really, why do you think we do it in our sleep? So right now I am trying to move myself to a new phase, I'm stuck and I know I'm stuck so I'm metaphorically getting a tow truck to move me out the muck!

My job is cool. They keep me busy and more importantly PAID! My house is coming along and so is my quest not to become the 2009 Miss Havisham . I been giving shyt away like hot cakes (why are hot cakes so popular? Does anyone know where the phrase they're selling like hot cakes came from?)

Let’s see, I am currently really trying to soul search and determine what TRULY makes OG happy! Like you know... once you strip all the illegal, illicit, and trendy shyt (aka sex,drugs and rock roll to some) out of my life. What makes me smile? What makes my heart jump? You know I really hope its not something like kittens in the rain or grilled KFC (because I didn't get that Oprah coupon. Plus those grill marks on that ain't right,they ain't right. They are disturbing like McRibs)

To be honest so much of my happiness comes from seeing other people smile that it is kind of hard to figure out what really makes me happy. You know besides not being homeless and knowing where my next meal is coming from. To be honest, think what I’m looking for is that one thing that makes me happy despite any circumstance or life situation and to be honest I don’t know if I could describe that. What makes you happy? You know besides the outside stuff. Like when I was kid I remember playing outside with a stick giving concerts made me happy, so did riding my bike through the neighborhood like a mad woman, so did selling my colorings from my giant coloring book for .01-1.00, and making water damns with leaves and sticks and sticking straws into ant beds….

Uggggh so why is it so hard to articulate what makes me happy these days. I mean really all this material stuff I have it don’t make me happy. I think this is where I break out into A Keys if "I ain't got you" My friends, sure they make me smile but as we all know other people should not be your happiness. I mean really, ask any mother who lived for her kids how she feels once her kids grow up and move on. I don’t know why its so hard. I mean I know it’s not crack! I think its accomplishment.

I mean I’ve been thinking about this for week’s folks and I’m a goal setter. I set all kinds of goals and I love working to meet a goal but above that I love completing what I said I would. I mean there are plenty of things I don’t complete but when I do complete a goal it makes me happy. I think…I’m still sitting on that trying to see if its happiness or just relief. Well I’m still searching for what makes me euphoric besides what you can get in a dime bag on any corner in the hood. I mean I’m not sad I just need to be able to pinpoint my happiness so I can recreate it whenever necessary!

Be EZ,

Monday, April 20, 2009

Hey Fam

This is a reach out and touch you moment. I haven't yet found my blogging voice lost it somewhere.

I'm fine. I promise I will try to get Reggie on the posting. I PROMISE!! However follow my tweets. My evil plan is to tweet myself out of bloggers block. Maybe, cause I am boring with this too.

I guess my age is showing. Well I am officially in my countdown. 4 til 40! As in 4 years til forty. I'm excited. Doing a lot of different things to reach a lot of 40's milestone. I'm GRINDING towards it with Halle Berry as my patron saint of revenge aging.

Be EZ,

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Ok ! I know this doesn't count as a post! I will be soon....just too much going on right now IRL. So in the mean time in between times CHECK OUT my MAIN DAMMIE and her bus fam!!! Mass transit is what I MISS MOST about Boston! (please note I never had to mass transit in the winter in Da Bean so I can miss it!!)

Be EZ,


Tuesday, February 3, 2009


Hey y’all what’s up! I hope you didn’t miss me too much! But busy busy busy. You know how it goes. It’s Black History Month. But every month is BHM to me. Plus I am starting to see a focus on us Blacks in America as just American, by more blacks than ever. I like that. I mean really when you think about it we are not an immigrant group like other ethnic groups who use it. They use it to differentiate between themselves and ethnic groups who immigrated here like there ancestors who came before them. However our ancestors didn't migrate. Anyway...

If you notice I rarely use the term African-American and it is not because I am not proud of my ancestry. I once wrote a paper for a college history class that explored the theory that we, African –Americans were truly indigenous to North America putting us on the same footing with Native Americans. I mean think about it. They crossed over on a bridge of ice. They then began living their lives and honoring the lands they had found. They thought the settlers were crazy because you can’t own land. We know how that went.

Our ancestors came over on boat and we were brought here. Again the settlers decided that they could own something not for sell, people. Anyway the genetic that makes us up today is different than that of those from Africa. We didn’t immigrate here years after this country was built and developed. We built this country. We are this country. With out our labor there is no America as we know it today. I won’t even begin to go into the many things that were invented by black men and black women.

African Americans are a unique mixture of the melting pot. None of us born in this USA are 100% Zulu- Masai. We all mixed up somewhere, at some point if you are lucky enough to be able to trace your history through sales records and census reports you will see than many of us have Massa or Mistress in the line. Many of us have Native American lineage as well, as at one time being black was better than being a Native American and many of them assimilated into our welcoming segregated communities.

Anyway I hope that soon BHM won’t be needed, but still celebrated. I hope that as this country grows and faces her truths she will tell OURSTORY and not HIS STORIES about how this country was built, founded, and sustained. Ok well that is all! Imma try to check in with you guys a few times this week.

Be EZ,

Friday, January 30, 2009

All We Need

Love never fails! I Cor 13:8

Love is transformational, I honestly believe that. Not being in love but loving. I Corinthians 13 is my most favorite (yes I'm aware that is not correct usage and that I don't need the most in front of the favorite) chapter of the Bible ever. It is the guide for how we should love and it should help us sort the wheat from the chaff or the lust from the love. Even President Obama quoted it in his inauguration speech.

I am not in love with love. Nor do I love easy, but I do believe love never fails. Real and true love. Love doesn't transform things on your time, but it is transformational. Kinda like time. They say if you don't like something just keep on until it changes. I think love is the same way. If you keep on loving even those who don't deserve or need it will bring a c change. However, don't confuse this with being in love or romantic love. I just mean love.

The scripture says that with out love there is nothing. It says what love is and what it isn't. Sometimes when I try to think about loving someone I ask myself if I experience those things that love is not, you know like jealousy or boastfulness. It helps me put love in perspective. Agape love. That's the love I'm talking about. If there is more than what I call fleeting moments I know that its a different kind of love. Loving with out expecting love in return is hard.

I don't believe that people have to deserve love. I mean love, real love doesn't require reciprocation, that is only required to be in love. LOVE.

Loving someone in spite of their faults or how they treat you is what we are suppose to do, after all aren't we suppose to love our enemies. Why? Because it is a transformational. It never fails. However we don't know that because we give up on loving when its no longer about reciprocation. Love is about love. Some people can't love you back and the older I get the more I believe that one should never love to be loved. You should love because you understand with out love there is nothing.

Everyone deserves to be loved, isn't it obvious the Bible says love those who spitefully misuse you . If I'm loving those who hate me and wish harm on me, I sure need to love everyone else above that line. Right.

Love never fails! Sometimes we have to love while others learn to love. Sometimes you can't see the love. Everyone is deserving of love. So many people who don't love have nothing.

Love never fails!

I have always said that my one goal in my life is to make sure those I choose to care about can never doubt that I love them.

Love is transformational.

Its far easier to be in love than it is to love. Sometimes we get carried away with love as an emotion. However love is not an emotion, it is an action.

Love never fails!

For God so LOVED the world he gave his only forgotten son. Doesn't get any more transformational than that.

It will make you do right

It will make you do wrong


4 foot taps and a bass rift!

Its not always accompanied by happiness.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love I Cor 13:13

Be EZ,


Friday, January 23, 2009

The Wrap-Up

Well, the week is wrapping up and now it is time to put away the party clothes and sparkly jewels. It’s time to wash the smoky eyes and red lips. It is time to be about the business at hand. At this point all the excitement of getting to the presidency is over and now it must be about making the kind of history that we can not so clearly see and understand. We have celebrated the momentousness of this occasion. Well some of us have, being in Texas it is apparent to me that many people are trying to diminish President Fo’Fo’s (Man, I LOVE my fo fo!) accomplishment. You already know how I feel about haters so …moving on.

I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what do I say about the occasion. How do I commemorate this on my itsy bitsy blog so that can pay proper honor to this moment and document this moment for my own personal herstory. How do I pay homage to what that moment meant to me, to my family, to my state, to my country, TO THE WORLD. How do I honor the ancestors and inspirers, the kids ( not the ones that snap), the doubters, and even the haters. The truth is I can’t. For most of my readers there is nothing I can write, no words I can string together that can truly honor Tuesday’s occasion.

What I can do, is do the things it takes to make the words of President Obama’s inaugural address true for the 21st century. I can up my service game. If you know me IRL you know I am committed to service, mostly collegiate education, mostly because I stood on the backs of so many to obtain my degree, I think it is only right that I at least kneel down and put someone on my shoulders. You know pay it forward. So after giving you lazy blogs of videos, transcripts, and pictures (because they really are worth a 1,000 words maybe a 1,000,000 words in this case) I just want to share/record my observations and conversations about the new age I hope we are living in.

Ask not…
So after watching everything and listening and reading accounts of so many who were in DC, I decided to step up my service game. My Main Dammie, bus chick ,spent part of her childhood in Morocco because her parents were in the Peace Corps and now I wonder if that kind of service will begin again, when a young family with two young children pack up and join the Peace Corps or when young college graduates dedicate two years of their life to teaching in under-served under-financed schools before they go off to stack paper from corporate America, Kennedy’s America. Sometimes I wonder if this is our second chance to see what happens when America serves the world and leads by example. In so many ways Dallas's grassy knoll was the graveyard of an America that actually did what Jesus did instead of just asked what he would do.

Most Christians who read their Bibles know that service is a base tenant of JC’s teachings. There is something about serving your fellow man that grows you in a way nothing else can. At my church during Resurrection weekend one of the events of the weekend is foot washing. Man…whole new perspective on life. Service.

Moving on, I am very excited at America’s move towards service.

Leaders set the tone
There were 2 million plus people in little bitty old Washington DC on Inauguration Day and the news reported not ONE arrest. Not one. Everyone has said the spirit of kindness and friendliness was thick. Leaders set the tone. Our President is cool as a fan and I think that is why you saw order during his inauguration celebrations.

We will extend our hand if you unclench your fist
You know there are so many pieces of that speech, or sermon as Newsweek called it, that resonate with my soul. However I love how he addressed our foes. That we are not aggressors or bullies and if you're cool with us we’ll be cool with you, however you are not finna punk us. I love how he said we will NOT apologize for the way we live. To me that is TRUE conflict resolution. It’s funny because at work that is how I operate. People ALWAYS think I’m nice as pie and I am and we're cool until you act a fool. Many have had to find that out the hard way.


We must be able to give as much as we want to stack paper. We must be able to be kind to strangers and realize we share commonality. We must be able to give not merely a hand out but a hand up, by encouraging personal responsibility because it really is the only way to truly move forward.

The Big Picture

The one thing that I have truly come to realize is that sometimes you have to come to your breaking point in order to become who you need to be. I think in the last eight years America has been humbled, embarrassed, and shamed. America has done things she never thought she would America has been on a slow path of self-destruction. We had grown to a point where apathy was the norm, the accepted path and empathy was not in our vocabulary. We no longer remembered our history as a fledgling nation fighting for her representation. We no longer remembered our commitment to equality and happiness. We had to lose our way. We had to see what happens when you do not guard the constitution and hold those values in your heart. We had to live the lives we WERE living to understand that this is not the America we want to be. In so many ways W had to "lead" this country, Iraq had to happen, 911 had to happen to show us what can happen when you take the wrong road when you make the wrong choices or the right choices at the wrong time.

Tuesday when the oath was administered to Barack Hussein Obama FINALLY these words were truly the words of America and the country which our fore fathers had set forth to build over 200 years ago.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Since this moment is so big I thought I’d share a few e-mails I exchanged with friends over the week that speak to HOW different the vibe is here in Texas.

Hey girl!! I came to work (wtf was I thinking?). I couldn't watch the Inauguration online because there were too many users and there are no TV's in our building. Girl I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Finally I found a TV on different floor, for another company. Why are all the racists showing their true colors now?

You know when I heard about Jena 6, I was thinking, I could never live in a small racist town like that, but when I look at things now, I live in a BIG racist town like that. I'm just sick, but still so very proud!

How about you, what'd you do? I still cried like a newborn baby...snot throwing
and all. (HR not Hipsy Russell)

I was telling my friend that here there is FEAR, in MA there was HOPE!! I think what we are seeing are a group of people coming to terms with the fact that their way of thinking is truly on its death bed. This presidency is like the blow to Jim Crow that puts him on life support.

I came in to work both Monday and Tuesday ( no days off!! especially since this is just month 2). I watched on my computer and listened to the redneck behind me be passive aggressive, but I took the Obama road (formerly know as the high one) and met his HATE with love. That's right baby get it out get it all out...God loves you.

Girl, we have a room with 6 flat screens mounted ALL DARK on Tues. I was like this is HISTORY. Mandy watched it at work on FOX... I was like how fitting is that, says volumes about Houston. I think its times like this that remind me of the south’s painful past and current struggle.

I think sometimes we forget, because blacks here are successful and enjoy good lives, but we live such separate lives. You know it takes different things to remind us that we live in the less progressive states, but there are pockets of hope. Man I should have went to Austin I bet it was much better there, it’s our Seattle. *lol*

I didn't/haven't cried. I mean for me there was never a question of if only a question of when and who. And man he makes me grateful for W. I mean that’s the thing I think about how you should not judge things as good or bad but what they are. I mean if there was not a W to take this country deep into the moral, financial, and emotional valleys how could the hope and energy of change have been created.

This reminds me of the America of the 60's deeply divided yet from that division came the Peace Corps and Ameri Corps and America's spirit of service, like OUR PRESIDENT said on Tuesday we are back and we are ready to lead.

Not one arrest 2 million plus in DC NOT ONE ARREST Tues. When has that ever happened? Leaders set the tone. I am so proud that my president is a great man and blessed that he also happens to be black!! That really is the best part. (OG)

I’m so glad I get to be up here with all of these enlightened New Englanders! EVERYBODY here is just so excited about Obama. Okay, not everybody, but honestly, even the skeptics seem to have warmed up to the guy, at least for now. Even my cousin, who is not a racist but um...let's say he is sort of an old-school Italian American blue collar type from Massachusetts....saw the inauguration and was like "okay this guy is awesome." Anyway we'll enjoy the honeymoon while it lasts. (DS)

Be EZ,

Negritude* Celebrates

*that's a Toldja word!! Anyway, I thought I would share this seems like a Friday thing to do.

Man I am so happy to black, nicca I don't know what to say? Why was that line so incredibly complex and funny to me when it was said!

Enjoy! I really love what Jay says!! I'm sure Ann Coulter will be happy we acknowledged him being half white!

Be EZ,

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I think they call this AFTERGLOW

A little summin summin to hold you over. I promise I will reflect! Actually, I am reflecting right now, but as I learned from Tim Gunn edit edit edit. I know hard to beleive but I do edit.

Special Thanks to Funke Blak Chik she's responsible for hipping us to this!

Man now that this has all happened, watching this and answering the same questions these entertainers are answering really make me appreciate being in MA election night! More on that later I promise. Enjoy!!

Be EZ,

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Looks Like We Made It (for real... for real)

I don't have anything to say just yet, not a lot of time to collect all the thoughts I have in my head. I know you heard it but you should really read the speech. The words are powerful even without his flawless oratory. Enjoy and talk to you soon.

WASHINGTON - My fellow citizens,
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them— that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence— the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive ... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.
Be EZ,

Saturday, January 17, 2009

I LOVE 30 Rock

Ok so I usta just like it...Then I saw the after after after party episode and I LIKED it and now well I love it. I don't heart it yet but man if they keep on that Tina Fey is gonna make me drop the grudge I slighty still hold on the not funny HRC wrath she had for B-Rock. Anyway, I know it may jump the shark now due to the critical love and acclaim but I love it right now.

I'm buying it on DVD! Its that good and funny! That is all.

Be EZ,

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Look not a lot to say- well on permanent record of the internet. I am breathing. He is breathing. She is breathing. They are breathing. We are breathing. And that's all that REALLY matters. I want a dog and a new car and work is- well work. I like it but they want me to really work, but its fun.

2009 has already showed me some issues but I'm fine just quiet right now. I have learned never to speak on it until you have arms around "it" metaphorically speaking. I'm happy. Crys thinks the quiet is due to being sad, but the quiet is due to actually having to grind. The personal stuff well enough time hasn't passed for me to even make drastic moves. That is what the past has taught me and Tolle never jumped to the future stay in the now and work it as it comes.

Guess what? I got a Blackberry. Its my work phone. So now I'm the annoying bytch with a work phone, personal phone, work lap top, 2 personal lap tops, see why I need a dog. So when people see me they can say phuck her with all those trapping and her little dog too. *lol* I know random, but hey I haven't blogged in weeks.

How is everyone else's year going- I'll know before you answer cause I'm catching up on blogs right now and REMEMBER just because I don't comment don't mean I'm not reading. I'm like Santa Clause ok maybe not, then if not SC then who would I be like...hmmm I'm not like Jesus even though I often try to go SBF on him. (if you are really smart you got that or really witty or really high and/or drunk)

Anyway who is taking off Tuesday? Man I don't think I've mentioned it but I work with all men except for the executive assistant and all the FTE men on my team that I sit in the cubicle farm with are white and to the right. Man I KNOW they be wanting to say some shyt. But my blackness be stopping 'em. We follow the old school office rules not religion no politics... its been so long since I worked in a PC place. *lol* Not that PC because we talk sports and guns.

Y'all I want a new car (new to me) and for no other reason than I just want to drive something that was built in the new millennium. Ain't nothing wrong with my 97 4Runner. I just want a 2004 something hell even a 2001 something. However this credit crunch - can kiss it!! The fact that it looks like I own two homes on my credit (long story) and my end of year moving back home debt I LOOSE!! I probably need to wait until later.

Ok I'm done enough randomness I mean I know its not enough randomness for as long as I have been gone but its all I got!

Be EZ,