Monday, May 25, 2009

Getting Back Up

I have to say Keri and Kanye are right and sometimes love does INDEED knock you down. And the sad sad thing is when you both know that right now and maybe never that its not gonna work, that you need more than your love for each other to make it through. I've been spending time going through that and the getting back up has been a bytch. However I am glad to say that I am getting back up. I think I am in a new and better place. Its always been true for me that my mistakes in life have taught me for more about life and my inner stregnths than any of the great things that have happened. I would have to say that life is still good even though it has changed so drastically in a few months. I mean it has been tough being on the wrong side of my gamble and I will always love the first TOM A and I will always have some affection for him but right now it has to be about me. I said the first because there will be many more TOM As in my life remember it stands for The Object of My Affection. Well until I meet The One, which may or may not happen and that is fine with me. Having a loving and healthy relationship is not a requirement for my happiness. However that doesn't mean I would turn one down either.

You know its kinda sad, but I thought about this day, the day I could public say it's over. Sad because there was actually a point I couldn't say it, mostly because so much was right with us, but what what was wrong couldn't overcome it. Timing and circumstances are all things that have to be right and also you really can't love anyone until you love yourself. And sometimes the one who loves you can't wait for you to love you. Its funny I've never been on this side before. More than often looking back I can see there were men who had to let me go because despite all my good qualities I didn't love myself enough or really know who I was. I don't know if they loved me or even if they loved me more than I loved Tom A, so I can't say it was as hard for them, but I can say letting go before you are out of love is hard. Especially when you know they love you too. However the older I become the wiser I get and the more I know what I do and don't want. I also know a relationship can not be healthy unless both parties involved are healthy. So today I write because I am happy. I am happy I took a chance and I am happy that I loved. And the best thing is I am not sad or regretful on the other side of love. I am happy and hopeful.

Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down. Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down, knocks you down.

I'm back up and I'm so excited about my new life. My job has been taking a lot of time. I'm going on a business trip with our Executive VP so I am pretty stoked about that, mostly because it seems to be a big deal. I'm on several high profile projects and I am really hoping to turn this into a promotion by review time next year. I really love setting goals and working towards them so I'm good. I'm also planning on going to the 206 the summer to spend time with my favorite bus family. I also want to go somewhere tropical, but I'll save that until the winter.

I promise I am going to try to blog more but its a lot harder here at home. However I will try to check in more regularly than I have been. I miss blogging its definitely something I miss.

Proud to be an American

Last but not least, Happy Memorial Day especially to all the veterans and active soldiers, even though I may not support some of the wars being waged and that have been waged by America I APPRECIATE your service to allow me my freedoms as an American.

Be EZ,


Mizrepresent said...

So glad to hear from you. So glad that you wrote a new blogpost. Didn't know that you and TomA had parted...but glad to see you are doing well. Hang in there sis, you are doing so much...and life will repay u in kind!

Solomon said...

So glad you are back. Like Miz, I didn't know you and Tom A parted ways. sorry to hear it didn't work out, because it did seem like you guys had something very special. I've been there before, splitting up when both people still love each other and I understand what you mean when you say it can be difficult. But as I've learned as a go through this thing called life, everything happens for a reason, and like you said, sometimes the most painful things teach us the most. I know I have found that to be true. Glad you are doing well.

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] said...

That song is definitely true! Everything in life is a lesson learned!

Ms. T said...

Hey sorry to hear you and ur Tom A parted ways. Yes it is true sometimes love comes around, and knocks you down. Even in the best of relationships this happens. You ave to be able to continue to work through whatever issues you have, get back up and keep going, if it is worth it. If it is not worth it, and the tunnel out seems to deep, then its best to focus on moving past it versus through it, and do YOU. What I learned is, that it FEELS right when, and your GUT tells you its right. We all know when those doubts come, but LUST and a phacade of love keeps us holding on to the wrong match. So you have to have be strong, and get back up when love knocks you down, know how to let go, and stay faboulous.

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OG, The Original Glamazon said...

I felt the need to share this with you guys, I have closed this chapter on myself and TOM A. I say that to say that if he can resolve his major roadblocks and wants to try us again and I'm still available I will be open to that.

That for me is how I know I love him the fact that I love him enough to not let us enable him or be obstacles to the personal growth we know he needs. And for me to work on my personal growth while he is so I can be in an even better place if there is a next time around.

That is all. Thanks all. I really needed to put a close on our chapter to move to my next chapter here and I am prayerful that the last is not our last chapter. However I am peaceful if it is. I wouldn't trade it for anything, unlike many of my relationships is not tinged with one regret of the choice I made.


CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Whew, a painful but necessary exhale...

I feel ya, girlie. It's a mature step to admit that it's time to move on. Like you said, there will be another the meantime...we'll pop the Nuvo ;-).

i.can't.complain. said...

way 2 make me cry.

'preciate it.

glad u are happy.

'the other side of love.'

*loves it*


Girl in My Own World said...

Well, I am sorry to hear about TOMA, but you really deserve love on the highest level. God can send you someone who may not be perfect, but perfectly suited for you and you are do not need a TOMA to be happy. I am just living life and if that blessing comes then great, but I am not all about glad that you didn't either. Stay up girl! :o)

Smokie said...

Moving on.... Good for you! The one for you is just waiting to cross paths... :-) Just pray for him and God will send you just who you want & need. said...

Hey there O.G.!

You know, I have been missing your trumpet! You know how when you eat a huge salad and everyone is munching and you think to yourself, "something is not right with this salad, what's missing??"

Well...that is how it is when your trumpet is not heard.

Why did I use a food analogy? I don't know. Maybe because it's 2:00 PM and I haven't eaten a morsel of anything all day long! *LOL*


Thanks for sharing your story about TOMA so that others can find strength from it.

Sometimes, the people we love can't be all that we need them to be... and that's okay...we can move on and love them from a distance. The "right" one who has the "right" combination of what we need in the present and in the future is still out there.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!