I have to say Keri and Kanye are right and sometimes love does INDEED knock you down. And the sad sad thing is when you both know that right now and maybe never that its not gonna work, that you need more than your love for each other to make it through. I've been spending time going through that and the getting back up has been a bytch. However I am glad to say that I am getting back up. I think I am in a new and better place. Its always been true for me that my mistakes in life have taught me for more about life and my inner stregnths than any of the great things that have happened. I would have to say that life is still good even though it has changed so drastically in a few months. I mean it has been tough being on the wrong side of my gamble and I will always love the first TOM A and I will always have some affection for him but right now it has to be about me. I said the first because there will be many more TOM As in my life remember it stands for The Object of My Affection. Well until I meet The One, which may or may not happen and that is fine with me. Having a loving and healthy relationship is not a requirement for my happiness. However that doesn't mean I would turn one down either.
You know its kinda sad, but I thought about this day, the day I could public say it's over. Sad because there was actually a point I couldn't say it, mostly because so much was right with us, but what what was wrong couldn't overcome it. Timing and circumstances are all things that have to be right and also you really can't love anyone until you love yourself. And sometimes the one who loves you can't wait for you to love you. Its funny I've never been on this side before. More than often looking back I can see there were men who had to let me go because despite all my good qualities I didn't love myself enough or really know who I was. I don't know if they loved me or even if they loved me more than I loved Tom A, so I can't say it was as hard for them, but I can say letting go before you are out of love is hard. Especially when you know they love you too. However the older I become the wiser I get and the more I know what I do and don't want. I also know a relationship can not be healthy unless both parties involved are healthy. So today I write because I am happy. I am happy I took a chance and I am happy that I loved. And the best thing is I am not sad or regretful on the other side of love. I am happy and hopeful.
Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down. Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down, knocks you down.
I'm back up and I'm so excited about my new life. My job has been taking a lot of time. I'm going on a business trip with our Executive VP so I am pretty stoked about that, mostly because it seems to be a big deal. I'm on several high profile projects and I am really hoping to turn this into a promotion by review time next year. I really love setting goals and working towards them so I'm good. I'm also planning on going to the 206 the summer to spend time with my favorite bus family. I also want to go somewhere tropical, but I'll save that until the winter.
I promise I am going to try to blog more but its a lot harder here at home. However I will try to check in more regularly than I have been. I miss blogging its definitely something I miss.
Proud to be an American
Last but not least, Happy Memorial Day especially to all the veterans and active soldiers, even though I may not support some of the wars being waged and that have been waged by America I APPRECIATE your service to allow me my freedoms as an American.