Friday, February 2, 2007

Weddings, Funerals, and other things in between

Hey Y'all ( I know I'm so southern!),

Good morning, afternoon, evening or what ever time of day it is as you are reading. I have been so busy with work these days. As you know the last time I posted I was in Seattle supporting my good friend (and her family), as she said her last good-bye to her mother. It was very nice to see her, different friends and her family who also came out to support and say goodbye to her mother. While my trip was sad, listening to the incredible woman that Caroline was, was definitely inspirational. She was a beautiful woman on the outside but her service was wonderful and it celebrated her beauty inside. A beauty that should be coveted more by all women, myself included. She was an amazing woman and as her family spoke about her from their own points of view, I realized that she was a woman of strength and courage as well as beauty. She spent her life being beautiful to people and the lives she touched was phenomenal. There were people of all ages, creeds, and colors. It was such a beautiful good-bye and wonderful life story. I hope my life speaks half as much about the real things, while still looking fab!! *lol*

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a funeral person. I only go to funerals when I have to. Since, Buschick is my family I felt it important for me to be there to support her. The thing about being up there that really touched me was that she and her husband, whom we refer to as Busnerd in the cyber world, are such a great couple and they really have helped me realize that marriage is still a viable institution. I didn’t think I could appreciate her husband any more than I did the day they got married, but during this time I managed to love him even more. Her other friend (the one who was in the wedding with me) and I were talking about how we were both so glad he was there with her. He was her backbone and he was everything that husband should be to a wife. He was there to hold her when she was too weak and supporting her when she displayed more strength. He was just right in every way, perfect for her totally perfect. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

She even said she never thought she could love him more than the day they married until this. That is what it’s all about, weddings and funerals. That seems to be when families gather and when people make impacts in our lives. And while I am so sad my trip up there was to say goodbye to her mother, I am glad I got the extra of seeing love personified watching those two interact on both the micro and macro levels of marriage. If you know me IRL or have read me you know my definition of love is the one in the Bible. Since my divorce I have always said that if I ever decided to love again, my love will look like the love Paul describes:

4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
1Cor 13:4-11

I love that passage it is one of my favorite Bible passages.

My Life
My life has been super super busy; mostly work, but personal too. I’ve been traveling for the last two weeks. Last night I got stuck flying around in a circle waiting to land for about 45 mins. Ughhh

I got a revised closing date for my house, end of April. It took a little longer to clear the title on the land but in two weeks I think the work will begin. I am excited but still a little scared because it’s all me. I think I’ll be ok, but I still battle with knowing that I will be able to take care of it all by myself. I think the nerves are good. They help me keep things in perspective. Somehow I wonder how my mom did it. When she was my age she had two children, a tween girl and a baby boy, and she was responsible for both of us. Every time I think I can’t do something I think of my mother and what she did and provided for me and my bro and the small amount of money she was able to provide that for us. She is a great woman whose strength is so quiet you often don’t even notice it. To all those single mothers out there hats off. I think taking care of a house on your own pales in comparison to taking care human lives all by yourself. Kudos!!

So remember the choice I made, well I made the choice and well the outcome was completely not what I expected. I have said before my expectations of men in relation to me are pretty low. In my life I have put up with stuff – well you know the story no need to talk about that. Hell, you have probably lived the story at one point or another in your life. I thought my choice would end a relationship, but he keeps on surprising me. It is definitely a unique relationship because the honesty involved is new and a bit strange to me, but I think the friendship is strong. I’m glad the friendship is strong because a man who is my friend is the most important to me, as I quickly approach my mid thirties.

I have realized while dating that my need for someone who is completely comfortable in who he is, is what I need. Not perfect, but as secure as one can be. I’m not an ego-stroker so most men are off put by that. Oh well, I guess I feel since I build my own ego so should you! It’s good and I feel good about where I am and I feel ok about who I am. I don’t think I’m where I need to be to be a valuable part of a team, but I certainly am working on it. Although as horrible as it may sound, I’m in no rush. Maybe it’s because every thing seems to be so good for me right now. Who knows! Enough of my business.

Our Month
Well yesterday was the first day of black history month, but I believe in 365 days of black history so no difference for me. I didn’t even get to comment on my boy Barack. I don’t think he will even get the nomination, but I am glad to have a black candidate in the tradition of Shirley Chisholm and Maxine Waters less Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Some may argue why even run. They say Barack won’t affect our world, however where would we be if Fredrick Douglass, Malcolm, Martin, or countless other pioneers had decided to be happy with the status quo. Barack may never be president our hold an office that affects my world, but his moves will certainly set the world up for that one day and quite possibly affect my child’s (ok my friends' and family's children) world. You know maybe I’ll see it, maybe I won’t. If Hilary was smart she’d run with Barack on her ticket talk about assassination insurance. Anyway, what are you going to do to make your own personal black history this month?

Well I’m out. I am cleaning and cooking a square for a change. I find cooking always helps center me after traveling for a while. So if you need me, I’ll be washing and cleaning and restoring my spot back to pre-travel conditions. Did I tell you how excited I am to be building this house? Well I am! Started picking out tile and flooring the other day and lets not even talk about all the furniture I have picked out!! I also hope to get with you guys a little bit more regular, but no promises because work is busier and busier each day and well I gotta have room for Real Life!! You know something has gotta give, can’t do it all!! Keep in touch and take care and as always…

Be EZ,