Wednesday, May 13, 2009

For Crys!

This blog is for the CRYStal METHod...peer pressure... peer pressure... peer pressure!

Man I really don’t have nothing to blog about, but if you watch my twitter feed on da side you see I has PLENTY to Tweet.

No on the real, life has been going. I’m going through some grown woman changes and it’s good. The thing about growing is sometimes it hurts. I mean really, why do you think we do it in our sleep? So right now I am trying to move myself to a new phase, I'm stuck and I know I'm stuck so I'm metaphorically getting a tow truck to move me out the muck!

My job is cool. They keep me busy and more importantly PAID! My house is coming along and so is my quest not to become the 2009 Miss Havisham . I been giving shyt away like hot cakes (why are hot cakes so popular? Does anyone know where the phrase they're selling like hot cakes came from?)

Let’s see, I am currently really trying to soul search and determine what TRULY makes OG happy! Like you know... once you strip all the illegal, illicit, and trendy shyt (aka sex,drugs and rock roll to some) out of my life. What makes me smile? What makes my heart jump? You know I really hope its not something like kittens in the rain or grilled KFC (because I didn't get that Oprah coupon. Plus those grill marks on that ain't right,they ain't right. They are disturbing like McRibs)

To be honest so much of my happiness comes from seeing other people smile that it is kind of hard to figure out what really makes me happy. You know besides not being homeless and knowing where my next meal is coming from. To be honest, think what I’m looking for is that one thing that makes me happy despite any circumstance or life situation and to be honest I don’t know if I could describe that. What makes you happy? You know besides the outside stuff. Like when I was kid I remember playing outside with a stick giving concerts made me happy, so did riding my bike through the neighborhood like a mad woman, so did selling my colorings from my giant coloring book for .01-1.00, and making water damns with leaves and sticks and sticking straws into ant beds….

Uggggh so why is it so hard to articulate what makes me happy these days. I mean really all this material stuff I have it don’t make me happy. I think this is where I break out into A Keys if "I ain't got you" My friends, sure they make me smile but as we all know other people should not be your happiness. I mean really, ask any mother who lived for her kids how she feels once her kids grow up and move on. I don’t know why its so hard. I mean I know it’s not crack! I think its accomplishment.

I mean I’ve been thinking about this for week’s folks and I’m a goal setter. I set all kinds of goals and I love working to meet a goal but above that I love completing what I said I would. I mean there are plenty of things I don’t complete but when I do complete a goal it makes me happy. I think…I’m still sitting on that trying to see if its happiness or just relief. Well I’m still searching for what makes me euphoric besides what you can get in a dime bag on any corner in the hood. I mean I’m not sad I just need to be able to pinpoint my happiness so I can recreate it whenever necessary!

Be EZ,


Mizrepresent said...

So very poignant (dayum i hope i spelled that correctly) lol. But i really wanted to say is i hear and feel you...what makes me happy:

being able to sleep in late

having loving arms wrapped around me.

children's laughter

a good book

a good movie

seeing my mother happy

being with the fam

an unexpected kiss or hug

flirtation when i'm not expecting it

a good hair day

being told i'm beautiful

flowers, tulips in particular

green,lush grass

outdoor concerts

when we are one...even if it's just when Frankie Beverly and Maze sings and pushes the point.

There are so many things an i can go on and's the little things that make me i know whatever comes i will be happy for a long time.

Keith said...

YAYYYY O.G. is back!!! So glad Crys
made you write,I don't know what to do.

I'm goin through the same thing..trying to figure out what makes me happy. It certainly not things. Must be people and the relationships we form.

What's goin on in Houston??
(See my blogpost tomorrow, it's about Houston...well kinda sorta.)
Then you'll know why I asked-lololol.

So glad you're back!

Solomon said...

I learned a long time ago not to count on others to make me happy.

Knowing I have people out there that love me.

Summer, summer, summer...

My blog friends.

And the one thing I can't do without... Knowing GOD is in my life, and he wll always be there for me, even in the darkest of times he is there to help pull me out. That is what really makes me happy, and I thank Him every day.

Glad your back OG!

Anonymous said...

I totally feel you. I am trying to find my happiness as well. I find that lots of time I find it in myself and I always find it in the Lord. He is my ultimate happiness. People often only fulfill me for a temporary time. The same is true for tangible things. Well, I will pray that you find true happiness. You deserve it! :o)

P.S. I am following you on twitter!

Pamela said...

Please let me know when you find it. I've been so busy reacting to life that getting to the point I have to steer my own boat, I'm kinda lost at sea.

Nina said...

this is the question of the century!!!

crys said...

YAY! (finally!)