Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Background Reading

I don't have time to blog today but what I want to blog about later requires you to read a blog that I wrote a minute ago 8/9/07. Anyway please do your background reading so when I post my next blog you are where I need you to be!! *lol* Have a nice day and I hope to see you soon, cyberly speaking (cause I don't want to see anyone I don't know around who knows me...THAT'S CREEPY!) *lol*

So I present to you some background reading:

Words to live by and other random thoughts! (originally posted 8/9/07)

“What I talk about with my girlfriends is that before you start worrying about, ‘I don’t have a man,’ where are you in your own space, in your own head?' she told me. “What do I need to be as healthy and happy on my own with or without? And the minute you get that in order, it seems like things fall into place.”

-Michelle Obama

Wow ! I had no intention of blogging today. I mean I have so much going on with the house being behind schedule, work projects, side business ventures, and just IRL living in general. However I was surfing the net today and saw this quote from Michelle Obama and it resonates so much with my soul I had to blog about it, actually I have blogged about it ad nausea, maybe because I was going through taking care of my own space and now I am truly experiencing “it” falling into place. I love the Obamas I think I LOVE her more than him if that is truly possible. For me it isn’t so much the race or him winning it’s the strength, courage, and the audacity of hope, as he would say, that makes me love him. There are some people that you KNOW for whatever reason they carry TRUE STRENGTH of character and to me both Barack and Michelle Obama have that. They don’t claim to be better, smarter or holier than anyone the just are genuine in who they are. They actually remind me of my friends Buschick and Busnerd, people who truly want to help in the ways they can.

It has been apparent to me for a long time that we can not start a revolution just one way. They (what they? I guess the same they that think of us as them) expect us to come one way, all our lives they have expected us to do something in one way, but when we hit them from all angles then they can not prepare. The revolution is coming at us from the hood in the form of usta be d-boys growing up into MOGULS and amassing fortunes not reserved for us. The revolution is coming at us from an African-American who is a direct connect to the motherland growing up and showing us what it is to command respect simply by being respectable. That is a lost art you know, acting responsible and being respectable. Anyway the revolution is coming at us from men who use their brawn to create great wealth and women who have used their brains and charisma to persuade millions of soccer moms what is O so hot and O so wonderful and at the same time show those women that we, the women, will save the countries that are in despair and war at the hands of the men who have run them and fought over them since the begining of time.

Ok enough about going on about the sociopolitical landscape being full of the first generation of young black men who have managed to turn their fame into their own fortune and not someone else’s. Enough about me talking about how we are changing the world yet it seems to be still at the same time. I mean really we are changing and I know to some this is not what they want to hear, however I’m not a doom and gloom kinda girl but I am not a Pollyanna either. I’m a realistic optimist, I really think that is how you live life. *LOL*

Enough with the tangent, now I am going on to what is really going on in my life. My house, it’s not finished but its close VERY PAINFULLY close. I had to move out my apartment on July 15th, at the time my house was supposed to be finished on the 28th, but as you know with building, shyt happens and the rain among other things, some controllable and some uncontrollable it is now August the 8th. They say next week and my mortgage broker says it has to be next week my lock is about to expire.

Well I’m tired now. I don’t have time to really upload the house pictures if you want to see them message me your e-mail and I will send you the latest and greatest! Have a good night people and as always…

Be EZ,


Thursday, January 17, 2008

Just something I noticed...and lived

Ok, so today I somehow found myself reading an article about Kimora Lee Simmos and Djimon Hounsou. It was your typical Harper’s Bazaar Hearst publication fluff piece,but what Kimora was saying got me to thinking about when I re-entered the dating world after 6years with my ex and other thoughts I have been having about the difference between men and women in the aftermath of divorce or LTR breakups.

I mean I most certainly don’t look to Hollywood for guidance or confirmation about how I am or should be “Living my Best Life”, but I do think that Hollywood is nothing more but a microcosm of what is going on in the world. I mean really it is, Brittney isn’t the first woman to go crazy after her man left her. Anyway the thing about Kimora that stands out is how she talked about NOT LIKING the dating thing!! I can totally relate. The other thing that I have noticed, in both my own personal life and the lives of the rich and famous, it almost ALWAYS takes the woman considerably longer before she settles down in another LTR or gets married.

I have a theory as to why. My thought about men who marry is this. Men marry because they have made a decision to retire from the pimp game. Generally most men I know got into the marrying frame of mind and then got married to the first woman who met all the wifey criterion. This DOESN’T always happen. Sometimes there are women who CHANGE a man or show a man a new life, but this mostly happens in movies, usually movies written by women.

Women pretty much are born wanting to partner up, NOT ALL WOMEN (because lord knows I didn’t think that would be me. Never thought I was wife material, whatever the hell that is?). There goal in life is to find a man who has made that decision, and then BINGO, JACKPOT, YOU GET TO BECOME MRS. JACKSON, Ms. Jackson if you’re independent wit’ it. Anyway, as I was saying I think for men its not so much who they are married to or are with as having someone to be with. I think with women when LTRs and Marriages don’t work out we kind loose our belief in the fairy tale. You know we wake up from this dream and since I think women put way more emotion into marriages (at least in the beginning) we tread very lightly before jumping back in. The heartbreak and devastation is often life altering even if the love wasn't.

It has been proven that the happiest, healthiest and longest living creatures on this planet are married men. There are countless studies that show the many benefits of being a married man. There are also countless studies that talk about married women being some of the least happy creatures in this world, and especially so if the marriage is not what they signed up for.

So it makes total sense to me that while Eddie was almost immediately partnered up with his beard extraordinaire now pseudo ex wife, Tracey, Nicole has dated several men none for an extended amount of time. Or as Nick LaChey and Vanessa (I think that’s her name I don’t know) are living together and decorating trees Jessica is on her fifth boyfriend. Or as Russell seems to be settling in with his please distract them from my homo tendencies plaything Kimora has taken a minute before she settled in with her new HUNK of a man. I really think women have far more emotional recovery from LTR break-ups than men, especially if you are a traditional type chick who is use to letting men run the show and show you they WANT YOU.

I definitely believe in letting a man decide, but men are notorious for being plug fillers, GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. They aren’t necessarily in love with the uniqueness that is you as they are with how you fit in their world, so it’s much easier for them to interview and find a new replacement for the last chick that didn’t work. I think women are looking for something more than a space filler to keep time with after the heartbreak, break up, betrayal, revelation or whatever it was that ENDED the relationship.

OK now I am totally speaking for me, for me I can NOT get around all the things I want. I think that early in life women learn to settle and we keep that momentum going. He’s not that cute but he’s this or he’s not that but its ok he makes me smile. What I realized is its not hard to find someone for you and the real trick to things is has he made that decision yet, you know to retire his pimp cup. Some men NEVER make that decision, so you are forced to settle if you can’t stand hanging in there. However some men do.

At this point all I know is I’m not settling. I’m not liking because he like me or growing to love. None of that if it turns out he ISN’T what I want then we will be friends and I will move on, I wish I would have come to this revelation YEARS ago, but alas I didn’t.

I’m out, maybe next time I talk about race, religion, or politics. That seems to get peoples juices flowing!! Anyway…

Be EZ,

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


I think that in these modern times being a modern woman many people peg me all wrong. The thing is that I might be an I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T woman, but I am so old fashion when it comes to love. I think because of my strength and my demeanor many people would assume I’m a ball BUSTER extraordinaire, you know Hilary in black face. Actually I am far from that, but what I have realized in my old age it takes a MAN a real man some might even say a REAL NICCA (this right here is a WHOLE other blog into itself....what is a real nicca!?!), to truly recognize that if there was ever a more traditional chick in the world when it comes to love, it’s me. I guess that’s probably why I am not in a relationship and only love from a safe and secure distance, also known as from a far. The kind of man it takes to handle me isn’t just sitting around looking for me and even if he was I come in a LOUD OBNOXIOUS SHOW ME Package so you really gotta want to know me to love me.

The thing is I am all about order, but unlike most I don’t assume the fact that you posses a Y chromosome makes you my instant protector. It doesn't give you the know how to protect, bring or restore order to my life or this world. I would love nothing more than to meet a man who would, and most importantly, COULD take care of me. The problem is that I do such a great job taking care of myself many don’t even bother. This is fine with me, one day I hope to find a man that KNOWS he can do it and isn’t worried about his independent dime buying him a Coogi sweater.

I WAS married so I know that men can say they can take care of you and FAIL at it miserably. The thing is this, I am a TOTAL and complete bytch, I can be difficult but really all that is my defense mechanism. It’s so funny you can stop all the bytchiness and difficulties by simply being a man and asking me what is up or telling me to get in line. I have realized that why I understand and crave order and by order I mean Man, Woman, and then child , I need to know that you can take care of me as well as, if not better than, I can take care of myself. The sad thing is there are a few men out there who can and what is even worse is there are more men who can than there are men who actually think they can.

The thing is I have succeeded at most things in my life; however I have yet to succeed at what I would consider a healthy relationship where I was able to trust my man had my back. What is sad is the more successful I get the more I think I won’t be able to find that man and what may be really sad about that is I AM COMPLETELY OK with that. I am totally and completely cool with it. One, I am not a chaser I am southern to the core so anytime a man asks me to buy, give, or be something (as in be something I am not, a sugar momma) I shut down. I have helped a few men out and the thing I find amazing is many men expect that. When did this happen? Now don’t get me wrong I have no problem giving and helping but it needs to be in an effort for us. I can’t take care of you , I mean that my being, my pride, my upbringing won’t let me physically TAKE CARE of you if I love you like that. I guess because I can not respect a man I have to TAKE CARE of like a child. Now that doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to TAKE CARE of my man. The thing is like a child, a child has no intention and really no obligation to take care of you back. That is the thing, Taking Care of an adult means that you feel that if the tables were turned they would indeed repay the favor. That’s the difference if I take care of you like a child the thought of you repaying the favor never comes to mind because if you are a child to my adult you will always be a child. I hope that wasn’t too random.

The other is I am not a maker. I am far too old to create or build a man from a scrap of man.
I am far too old to try to grow or change my man. I read on a blog once this woman said she just needed a piece of man she could do the rest! OMG the idea of that scares me to the core of my being It’s almost incestuous to create a man. I want my man to come with the things I admire and respect then I know who he is IS WHO HE IS. If you “make” him, clean him up, grow him up, then who is the real him ? And more importantly when will the real him show up? And MOST importantly when the real him shows up will you still LOVE him in the morning?

ANYWAY since I believe in order as in the man being the head of the household I have to know, that the man I love can be the head. That doesn’t mean take care of me financially that means make sound decisions for OUR future. It means that I need to look up to him and respect his opinions and who he is, his game plan and what he has planned. I need to know that he is a forward thinker and not a crowd pleaser or follower. I need to feel comfortable giving him MY CHECK (sans a little $$$ for a shoe and a purse here).

The way I do that is be me. I feel like if you can handle me, the me that is out in the world competing with men. The me that is out there making decisions for my household of one, then you can handle ANYTHING the world throws at US. If you can handle me then you get all of me, you get the me that bakes cookies and makes beds, you get the me that brings home big money from corporate America, you get me the shyt talker and me REALITY bringer, you get me the supportive wife and me the wife who says its time to live up to your potential, you get me the wife willing to do whatever it takes to make your dreams a success. You get the me that is not only your better half but YOUR BIGGEST SUPPORTER!!

The problem is I don’t think that lady I just described will EVER get to see daylight. The more I live the more complacent I have become with myself. I’m not saying a companionless life, but I am saying that I’m not willing to settle. I am not willing to live a life out of order as far as being in a real relationship and I am not willing to pretend a one dimensional relationship is anything more than it is.

Some people have taken my thoughts as almost defeatist, but to me they have set me free. I just am not who I use to be. I guess before I was married I never thought about or gave partnerships/relationships much thought or respect. Sometime I wish I could go back to that. It made my existence much easier and much simpler but it also set me on a road for disaster. Since I had never really thought about it I never really recognized its power. A great relationship is ONE of the MOST powerful things in the WORLD!

Now, as a wise old spinster, I have far too much respect for real and true love to play games in a relationship with someone that I didn’t LOVE unconditionally. Sad huh, I mean it really is sad, because feeling that way takes the fun out of dating. Its not about learning about men its about respecting love. I think the male/female relationship and love is a precious gift from God. We have clouded it with all kinds of WORLDLY things and it seems every time we disturb the order which God intended we end up in a WORLD of trouble.

I mean think about it. Adam listened to Eve – Man’s fall from Paradise. Abram (Abraham post Isaac) listened to Sari (Sarah post Isaac) - no peace in the Middle East. I mean it just seems when we MUCK with the order its crazy, but at the same time as a woman we need to be looking for the Adam who would have told us to put that apple down and STOP talking to that DAMN serpent. We need to find the Abraham that would have said LOOK woman God said he would do it and he will, now will you and Hagar go somewhere with all that plotting and scheming. Does that make sense? The problem for me is that man or men like those are few and far between. I mean for some women that man is any man, for me that man is once in a very blue, blue moon.

Ok I’m out enough about order. I wish I KNEW what made me even ramble like this.

Be EZ,

Monday, January 14, 2008

Big Girls Don’t Cry, but apparently BIG FINE MEN DO!!

So, last night I saw something that was soooooooooo so sad but it was such a turn on too! Yes, it was T.O. being "emotional", as the media likes to say. Me, I say it was T.O. about 2 minutes away from CRYING LIKE A BYTCH!! *lol* The thing is I thought he looked INCREDIBLY SEXY while doing it!

This was such a different T.O. than the normal post-game cocky T.O., it is evident to me he has grown, even if it is to learn not to talk about you all the time and blame others, but he did get a few pot shots in at the media. I’ve always been behind my QBs its you the media that have judge me. UMMMMMMMMMMM somebody get Donovan on the phone and ask him how supported he felt by T.O. The thing is I think he has matured, as most of these primo Dons do. I mean really, look at Randy Moss he's a completely different man than he use to be!!

Well in any event, the Cowboy season is over and even though T.O. thought this was their year, it wasn’t. Even if they would have won Tom Brady and the Pats would have made them cry later! Like I say better sooner than later, well I don't say that but it fits here.

My condolences to all the Cowboy fans out there today!!

I had a very lazy weekend it seems for me this year has been off to a kind of slow start. I am slowly getting in my groove but I am in no rush. I’ve been keeping it close to home, no real reason. I just LOVE being at home. I figure once I finish everything on my to do list for my house, I probably will never leave.

Its funny but, I think I have grown out of shopping. I remember there use to be a time where shopping was my thing. I am not sure why, but now it just seems like such a bother or like I would rather be at home. The effort it takes to go out and buy stuff because its cute is way more than I want to put out, but even that I mean I am not even really shopping online these days. To be honest I think it was my move that cured me. When I moved to my house I realized how much UNNECESSARY stuff I had. You know things I never used or wore. I started thinking if I had the money I paid for this stuff instead of the stuff I would be closer to my goals of being debt free (mortgage only) by 2010 . Oh well.

I did manage to go furniture shopping, well browsing. I think I made up my mind on a couch and stuff!! Whew, so now all I have to do is buy it.

So I am sitting here today and for whatever reason I feel completely over it, it being him. However I think it’s just today, but have you ever said to yourself the effort is more work than you really want to put in. Especially now I just feel like ehhhhhhhhh, I don’t think I ever thought I’d feel like ehhhhhhhhh, but almost two years later I really do. I really do.
I’m sure it will pass, let’s hope it does for his sake, however I am sure it won’t matter one way or the other to him.

WTF is this about? Tomorrow I plan on wearing my wedding dress to go look at Range Rovers! What? She gotta repeat clothes now, or maybe this is her way of telling Kevin phuck you!! She got her drink and her two step! Well if drink means wedding dress and two step means paparazzo. I know I said I wasn’t gonna talk about her anymore, but wearing your wedding dress after the marriage is over is so very Miss Havisham (look I know she was stood up at the alter, but all wearing of weeding dresses after the fact, especially if the marriage didn’t take, are Miss Havisham to me) I had to say something!

Ok speaking of old hags who will get/have been left at the alter, did you hear there’s a sex tape of New York. I wonder if its her and Rowlf the dog nah its probably her and Animal I heard they had something going on!! I know I’m not the only one who thinks she looks like Janice the Muppet. I mean go ahead take a look and JUDGE FOR YOURSELF!! Anyway I am not so sure about viewing this tape, someone should tell New York that theory of sex tapes propelling you into fame will only work if you are a rich non-black, usually the non-black is famous for having money!! I say non-black because Kim Kardashian is not white, I mean of course she is for all intent and purposes, but really she isn’t!! And if that azz is any judge of it, she is FAAAAAAAAAAAR from white! Although these days white girls are eating red beans and rice, right Coco?

So, I have this friend who refuses to give me her blog roll. Actually I don’t think she knows it she just surfs and pulls up some of the most interesting blogs. She wants me to become the premier blogger in the H. I don’t talk about any one thing enough to be a premier anything, but shyt talker. Anyway I do add the really funny blogs she sends me to my blog roll, that way at least there is SOME RECORD somewhere. I am getting to old to just put them in my favorites, I have about 1gazillion websites in my favorites and as we all know all it takes is one crash of your hard drive for all your favorites to BE GONE, GONE, GONE forever!

MLK day is almost here!! Actually tomorrow is his ACTUAL birthday for those who don’t know your black history. The holiday is the third Monday of every January and I get a three day weekend next week. It’s one of the few times I REALLY ENJOY working for a financial institution. The other time is when they hand out free money!! I don’t have anything planned, I think I will dream in his honor, which is my way of saying I will sleep like the shiftless Negro he claimed us NOT to be!

Well I’m out. I really wrote this cause I promised the same blog rolless friend I would try to keep my blog semi-current and I really wanted to document the T.O. breakdown in cyberspace.

Oh yeah I’m taking suggestions for topics for blogs, look I can tell you when I will write on them cause that would be WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much commitment for me.

Be EZ,

Friday, January 11, 2008

Obligatory Blogging!!!

¡Hola! ¿Como Estas? Ok enough with the Spanish….I was supposed to have blogged last night but my personal lap top was running SLOW I mean real SLOW, like the repeal of Jim Crow in the South slow. Anyway what’s been up witcha? Me? What’s been up with me? EVERYTHING but what is I need to be up which in this horrible economy would be STOCK PRICES, I hear the fed is going to cut rates again. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME? I always manage to buy my damn house at the peak of interest rates being high and then like 6months into being in my house the rates take a nose dive and they are practically giving away money!! The last time this happened I refi’d TWICE this time I’m sit tight before I move to re-fi, but I do plan on re-fiing anyway enough about being grown.

I wish there was a way to be grown like you imagined it when you were a kid, just doing shyt you wanted to do, you know all the stuff but actually going to work and paying bills and having a mortgage and being responsible. Its funny cause some people do live their grown lives the very same way they imagined them NO WORK NO BILLS JUST FUN, those people are also know as strippers oh yeah and Supahead

Anyway moving on to my topic today which is one I HAVE BEEN wanting to talk about and that is Beyonce Haters. Look I have a theory if a woman HATES Beyonce, not does feel one way or another or has indifference but truly hates her I don’t wanna KNOW that BYTCH. Its kinda like those women who hate on light skinned girls and are all people just like her because she’s light skinned. I mean I have yet to meet a woman who HATED like literally HATED on Bey that I think is cool. I think in life you got two groups of women those that hate on Bey and those that don’t. The women that do are often not to cute themselves or the have SERIOUS self –esteem issues. Now don’t get me wrong you ain’t gotta be a stan, but I think most REAL woman appreciate Bey. She’s a hard worker and she is really doing what she loves, she isn’t trying to put folks down or talk smack, She is just focused on being the best Bey she can, which unfortunately for many R&B DIT (Divas in Training) the best Bey is killing the GAME. It seems there are so many women out there who thinks Bey’s success means no room for their favorite person, but hey if she is your favorite she MUST be doing something right.

I just don’t like Haters in general, I mean why hate? Why waste your energy hating on anyone, me I prefer to LOVE ON ME!! I usually do this why listening to Beyoncelol! Like I said next time look at the HATERS who hate on Bey and you will find out in general they are HATERS in life. I’m glad Bey exist I don’t think her success and beauty take anything away from mine. I learned a long time ago that there is room in the world for more than one bad booty shaking bytch!! Like I said you ain’t gotta be a stan but really you do not have to be hater to be my friend.

Whew…this is not a Beyonce hating house, hell I think I love her more than some men!! Oh ya I don’t like male Beyonce haters either, YES there are some out there, but they ARE NOT GAY. I have yet to meet a gay male Beyonce hater. Anyway moving on

Go Obama Go!!
I am LOVING what Barak is doing these days and since I was just speaking of fine, that Michelle is very Beyonce, by the way when did Beyonce become the term for being all that! I blame Andre Benjamin for this…remember Forever my Beyonce!! Line in she lives in my lap. Then Bey referred to it in Soldier quick to pick up your Beyonce wasn’t that such a GREAT play on word ( sorry that’s my borderline standom showing through). Anyway that Michelle Obama she Beyonce! *lol* Smart and fine that’s how Barak like ‘em!

Naked Prime
Since this blog is now officially Beyoncific, I am vowing to get into my NAKED prime which is like one better than just being in your prime. That means you not only got it going on in clothes but when you naked. I think I will work this year and try to make that happen maybe even document on this blog from time to time. Then I will have a big blow out birthday bash to celebrate it!! What you think?

Rosa C
I love my latest addition to my family, her name is Rosa and she is one of my best friends daughter. It’s so cool because she is the first little one in my close circle of friends that I knew before she was gleam in her daddy’s eyes and a burning in her mother’s loins? Wait do women have loins? Anyway I LOVE HER and I haven’t even meet her yet, but I will my plan is to roll through the 206 (if she doesn’t visit me first) and get to know her around her 1st birthday!

I would not like to hear anymore about Britt!! So I will not discuss it!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Get it STRAIGHT in ’08 well unless your gay then you can think of some other meaningful New Year’s slogan

Well MASSES, (I use that term loosely for the people who read my blog, I know its more like people I can count on one hand. I just came up with it. I think it is positive and you know kinda like if you build it they will comish!!!) we have made it to the New Year!! And like many others, I am so happy all this holiday hub-bub is over, but I am also sad because all the holiday hub-bub is no longer around to provide a cloak to my general laziness and procrastination at work. I will now actually have to start and finish all the work that rolled through here the last month or so! I know its sad, but its me!

The New Year is here and now its time to get it right, get it tight!! I didn’t at all do any survey or year in review blog this time around for 2007. I think its because I have realized that 2007 signals an end for me. There is now a chapter in my life that I have titled DETOUR but it’s also known as my married life. I feel like now I am in the house and he is married I can CLOSE this chapter of my life and kinda pretend like it never happened. It’s funny but where I am right now is where I expected to be as a little girl, not married with children. Living single and what I would like to say is moderately successful. You know for me success is like Jell-O there is always room for more.

Anyway 2007 was hard for me. I went through some changes and I’m still not sure why, but I have been very happy yet there were times, nothing extended, where I felt like I had lost the person I cared about most in a deadly accident! I realize now that it was me mourning a loss. I think we often don’t realize that sometimes with rebirth comes death. I mean if you are being reborn then something has to happen to who you were before. That person should die if you are really being reborn. And we know no matter what death still stings and especially if it was a part of you good or bad. Anyway she’s dead….I think or maybe I am borderline schizophrenic and she is just sleep. Any which way I feel like ’08 is the year many of us will “GET IT STRAIGHT”

Its funny that came from a random text from a random guy that I met in NOLA, who was like “**HOLIDAY WELL WISH* lets get it str8 in 08” So simple, but since I received that text on Christmas afternoon its been in the back of my head, lets get it straight in ’08.
I already had planned on getting it straight. I have come full circle since my marriage almost 7 years ago. I am who I want to be, free to grow and change and I am growing and changing as we speak. I will be 35 this year and I want to be debt free and really start making this money(my money) start working for me, so I can retire from working for the man and actually work for myself and live comfortably at a fairly young age.

I have reached all my post divorce goals and now my goal is to make my house a home. Realistically I think that will take me a few more years, but I am on the right track. I am working on knowing exactly who I am and sometimes that is hard, because you have to really answer questions that are uncomfortable to get to your core. There are people who are NEVER honest with themselves which is a very sad thing when I think about it, because if you can’t be honest with YOU who can YOU be honest with? Most certainly not with me, if you lie to yourself you will lie to ANYONE including the Lord God Jehovah himself!

I hope in ’08 this country will get itself straight and elect someone who at least feigns some kind of feeling for the real America (as opposed to the Rich America)! I know really its all the same but I like presidents who pretend to care about me while getting rich! You know to be really black, I wish this country would get it straight and elect Barack as Democratic nominee and then President of the United States or at the least the Vice President ( I do think Hill will prob pick him if she gets it! I mean what better insurance against assassination than a black VP?), not that I believe that will get the country straight, especially after 8 years of all this tom foolery in office.

It’s crazy because this presidency has convinced me MORE than ever we are truly in the LAST days (ok I hope you know I mean days metaphorically...don't sip that purple kool-aid just yet.) with the beginnings of religion and politics starting to meld into one. It’s crazy the rising political power of the evangelicals is not an accident it is biblical. If you know your bible then you already know where this is ALL going.

I hope in 08 the Spears family will get it straight, I am so embarrassed that this country is on pins and needles reporting on the coming and goings and baby havings of trailer park trash!! I mean couldn’t we have just remade the Beverly Hillbillies?

I hope in 08 that NO MORE RAPPERS with talent die. I mean why it that the most talented rappers are dying? I mean if Souljaboy was gone tomorrow, sure I’d be sad that he could neva Superman that ho again, but I think the world wouldn’t be robbed of his genius ( which I think will be Souljababy!! Think about it first we had Souljaboy, then Souljagirl, its only logical the next step of musical genius that is Souljaboy would be Souljababy!)

Speaking of rappers, I hope TI can get it straight with TIP and they both can come out of the house and hopefully visit me!!

I also hope in 08 that I will be able to take my mom to NYC for her 55th birthday!!

I really don’t do resolutions. I am a goal maker and the thing about goals is sometimes they span several years. I like goals better anyway it seems like you keep them they never just fall away like resolutions to be found on the next New Year’s Eve.

I really am going to try to not only GET IT STR8 in 08 as my friend urged me in the obviously blindly sent holiday text!! I am going to try to keep it straight. Just for the record I am going to try to get my self into more of a routine and habit of being a person, which means normal routine of housekeeping, working, living, and loving. I will continue, as I do each year, to try to be less extreme. I would love to have like a schedule but I think its hard for me because nothing demands my time (husband and kids) , so letting things slip into they do demand my time is very easy.

As I approach 35, I think I need some tweaking and I need good honest reflections when I am tweaking. Its nothing like someone to tell you hey I think you are tripping or girl nothing has changed the old way was just fine for you. Or he is crazy or my favorite phrase PHUCK THAT NICCA!! I know that is wrong on so many levels, but oh so right and so necessary on a few occasions!! BELIEVE ME!

Anyway, I hope your’08 is starting out as wonderfully as you hope. Mine seems to be ok. I plan on being more regular on here, but give me a chance to work into a routine for myself before you just hold my feet to the fire on that promise. I do have a list of shyt I want to talk about and hopefully I will be able to get it out to you, the masses, on the regular. Until you read again.

Be EZ,