Black Like Me

the Negro is a sort of seventh son, born with a veil, and gifted with second-sight in this American world,—a world which yields him no true self-consciousness, but only lets him see himself through the revelation of the other world. It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.

-W.E.B. DuBois


You know I am this big ball of complication. I have this whole enlightened black woman feminiata side, then I have this whole pop your collar fashionista side, then I have this on my grind Career Woman Side, then I have this party til six in the morning party girl side, then I have this we need a revolution side, then I have this hoodrat side, then I have this the revolution will NOT be televised, but it will be streamed LIVE on the internet side, then I have this lets all live in harmony MLK side, but then I have this we didn’t land on Plymouth rock, Plymouth rock landed on us Malcolm side, then I have this I went to Mecca Malcolm side, then I have this what’s up on the next lace front side, then I have this time for me to sport my fro in public side, then I have this I want a pixie cut side, then I have this I want some chocolate brown layers with golden blond highlights side, then I have this happy to be nappy under this wig side, but I ALWAYS have this I LOVE my friends side, then I have this turn off the lights and phones and sit alone side, then I have this LIFE is happy side, then I have this LIFE is sad side, then I have this I wish a nicca would try ask me to cook dinner side, then I have this we’ve buried the word nicca side, then I have this nicca please side, then I have this we have more than earned the right to take the word meant to harm and use it however WE want side, BUT then I have this that thought it way to complicated and convoluted for half the people saying nicca to even get side, then I have this I want to cater to my man side, then I have this he bettah take care of me side, BUT I ALWAYS have this I can take care of ME side, then I have this bourgeoisie black Kennedy side (can I call that Obama now), but then I have this country girl I’m about to make some hot water cornbread and greens side, then I have this phuck the haters side, then I have this you should be more modest side, then I have this I’m a BIG FINE WOMAN Imma back my thang up side, then I have this Jesus Keep me near the cross side, then I have this I LOVE that nicca side, then I have this I am so done with him side, then I have this phuck all this shyt side, then I have this I can’t live without any of this shyt side, then I have this loving you is easy because you’re beautiful side , but then I have this loving you is a lot of hard work especially when I have to bring your baggage in my house side, then I have this my shyt is your shyt side, then I have this everything but the double stuff oreos THOSE are my shyt side, then I have this Oprah is wassup side, then I have this Tyra is wassup side,then I have this Beyonce is wassup side, then I have this Erykah Badu is wassup side, then I have this Maya Angelou is wassup side, then I have this Zane is wassup side, then I have this Toni Morrison is the woman side, but then I ALWAYS know I have this Toni Morrison is the TRUTH side, then I have this I wish rap wasn’t so misogynistic side, then I have this they ain’t talking about me side, then I have this get your mind right side, then I have this get your mind RIGHT side, then I have this grind hard side, then I have this play harder side, then I have this Ricial (thoughts of a Rice grad) side, then I have this country hick Baytown side, then I have this WHAT IT DO side, then I have this SATC (sex and the city) side, then I have this celibacy and the country side, then I have this I LOVE Duran Duran side, then I have this I love Duran Duran screwed and chopped up side (wouldn’t that be WILLLLLLLLLLLLLD!), then I have this high strung I must do everything right side, then I have this I don’t give a phuck side, then I have this I need to help my people and community grow side, then I have this I need to worry about me and mine side, then I have this switchin’ lanes gripping wood grain side, then I have this double dutch bus coming down the street side, then I have this Randy Travis was the bomb side, then I have this TI can get it side, then I have this who wants to settle down when there is so much to see side, then I have this sit your ol’ azz down and let the youngsters have their time side, then I have this make it better for the next generation side, then I have this make it better for ME side, then I have this going straight to hell for saying that side, then I have this your words were a true inspiration and straight from God side, then I have this it’s just words side, then I have this words hurt way more than sticks and stones side, then I have this hope for my people side, then I have this HOPE for myself side. THEN I REALIZE I am all those sides and a bag of chips… that’s me.

I realize that the sea of complication that churns inside of me and my black folks soul is no different than what W.E.B was talking about so many years ago in this same town I live in today. It is what it is and I am who I am and who I am and what I am is what it is to be BLACK. And it will always be what it is to be BLACK, at least black like me.

And I realized I shouldn’t waste my time trying to define who I am and what I do. I should spend my time trying to move forward and if I can get enough momentum and inertia going, my Forward motion (some pun intended for those who know me) will propel others to move forward and they will propel others and THAT, that will be my legacy.

Be EZ,
OG