Monday, June 30, 2008

Black Like Me

the Negro is a sort of seventh son, born with a veil, and gifted with second-sight in this American world,—a world which yields him no true self-consciousness, but only lets him see himself through the revelation of the other world. It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.

-W.E.B. DuBois



You know I am this big ball of complication. I have this whole enlightened black woman feminiata side, then I have this whole pop your collar fashionista side, then I have this on my grind Career Woman Side, then I have this party til six in the morning party girl side, then I have this we need a revolution side, then I have this hoodrat side, then I have this the revolution will NOT be televised, but it will be streamed LIVE on the internet side, then I have this lets all live in harmony MLK side, but then I have this we didn’t land on Plymouth rock, Plymouth rock landed on us Malcolm side, then I have this I went to Mecca Malcolm side, then I have this what’s up on the next lace front side, then I have this time for me to sport my fro in public side, then I have this I want a pixie cut side, then I have this I want some chocolate brown layers with golden blond highlights side, then I have this happy to be nappy under this wig side, but I ALWAYS have this I LOVE my friends side, then I have this turn off the lights and phones and sit alone side, then I have this LIFE is happy side, then I have this LIFE is sad side, then I have this I wish a nicca would try ask me to cook dinner side, then I have this we’ve buried the word nicca side, then I have this nicca please side, then I have this we have more than earned the right to take the word meant to harm and use it however WE want side, BUT then I have this that thought it way to complicated and convoluted for half the people saying nicca to even get side, then I have this I want to cater to my man side, then I have this he bettah take care of me side, BUT I ALWAYS have this I can take care of ME side, then I have this bourgeoisie black Kennedy side (can I call that Obama now), but then I have this country girl I’m about to make some hot water cornbread and greens side, then I have this phuck the haters side, then I have this you should be more modest side, then I have this I’m a BIG FINE WOMAN Imma back my thang up side, then I have this Jesus Keep me near the cross side, then I have this I LOVE that nicca side, then I have this I am so done with him side, then I have this phuck all this shyt side, then I have this I can’t live without any of this shyt side, then I have this loving you is easy because you’re beautiful side , but then I have this loving you is a lot of hard work especially when I have to bring your baggage in my house side, then I have this my shyt is your shyt side, then I have this everything but the double stuff oreos THOSE are my shyt side, then I have this Oprah is wassup side, then I have this Tyra is wassup side,then I have this Beyonce is wassup side, then I have this Erykah Badu is wassup side, then I have this Maya Angelou is wassup side, then I have this Zane is wassup side, then I have this Toni Morrison is the woman side, but then I ALWAYS know I have this Toni Morrison is the TRUTH side, then I have this I wish rap wasn’t so misogynistic side, then I have this they ain’t talking about me side, then I have this get your mind right side, then I have this get your mind RIGHT side, then I have this grind hard side, then I have this play harder side, then I have this Ricial (thoughts of a Rice grad) side, then I have this country hick Baytown side, then I have this WHAT IT DO side, then I have this SATC (sex and the city) side, then I have this celibacy and the country side, then I have this I LOVE Duran Duran side, then I have this I love Duran Duran screwed and chopped up side (wouldn’t that be WILLLLLLLLLLLLLD!), then I have this high strung I must do everything right side, then I have this I don’t give a phuck side, then I have this I need to help my people and community grow side, then I have this I need to worry about me and mine side, then I have this switchin’ lanes gripping wood grain side, then I have this double dutch bus coming down the street side, then I have this Randy Travis was the bomb side, then I have this TI can get it side, then I have this who wants to settle down when there is so much to see side, then I have this sit your ol’ azz down and let the youngsters have their time side, then I have this make it better for the next generation side, then I have this make it better for ME side, then I have this going straight to hell for saying that side, then I have this your words were a true inspiration and straight from God side, then I have this it’s just words side, then I have this words hurt way more than sticks and stones side, then I have this hope for my people side, then I have this HOPE for myself side. THEN I REALIZE I am all those sides and a bag of chips… that’s me.

I realize that the sea of complication that churns inside of me and my black folks soul is no different than what W.E.B was talking about so many years ago in this same town I live in today. It is what it is and I am who I am and who I am and what I am is what it is to be BLACK. And it will always be what it is to be BLACK, at least black like me.

And I realized I shouldn’t waste my time trying to define who I am and what I do. I should spend my time trying to move forward and if I can get enough momentum and inertia going, my Forward motion (some pun intended for those who know me) will propel others to move forward and they will propel others and THAT, that will be my legacy.

Be EZ,
OG

13 comments:

WNG said...

And let the church say Amen.

Keith's Space said...

I love this post...You are something else O.G. You always manage to leave me speechless.
All of us have these different sides to our personalities that seem conflicting, but help to make us interesting.Just continue to be true to your center..That core that
makes you, you...The Original
Glamazon.

Keith's Space said...

I love this post...You are something else O.G. You always manage to leave me speechless.
All of us have these different sides to our personalities that seem conflicting, but help to make us interesting.Just continue to be true to your center..That core that
makes you, you...The Original
Glamazon.

Keith's Space said...

Don't know how that happened!
technical Glick or something or other. It's that kind of day..(sorry!)

sdg1844 said...

And the congregation said...A-MEN. We're all complex being and more than the sum of our parts. Let's start celebrating and embracing who we are.

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

Thanks for the props guys. I wanted to write a piece that sounded like me but spoke to the complex life we live being black in America, heck being a person is already complicated then add the complexities of race, class and gender on top of that and well, for me you have the piece I wrote above. I wanted to do something different a hybrid of poetry, prose, alliteration and of course visual variation. The point of my blog is allow me to create and push myself past my envelope.

Keith, I am honored that I render someone who I respect speechless. ‘m glad you liked it enough to click twice *lol* j/k I guess there was s glitch in the matrix at the moment you clicked yes.

-OG

Sister Girl said...

Dear Ms O.G.,

My sister indeed...black like me !

Your blogs leave me just not knowing just what to add into it. The more you write,the deeper you get. I have those days all day, everyday...so I know where you're coming from on the real.

One love,

T.

Mizrepresent said...

I so loved this... because i believe i have just as many sides and keeping them balanced is a beyotch...but i do my best, but then again that's whats makes me ME and you YOU...so wtf...do you an be happy and live your legacy lady.

btw- i'm loving it!

i.can't.complain. said...

loves it.

in fact, ima need to link this post

and your blog in the morning when i get back to the pc

and away from the sidekick

that is, if u don't mind

-1-

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

@SG- I'm just writing my heart I guess the more I write the more I uncover me. I don't think of myself as deep, prob cause I don't take who I am too serious.

@Miz- Thanks. I think all people have the many sides and like I said before when you add race, class, and gender on top its gets even more hectic, I'm glad you could identify with it!

@1-My dear you may link and do as you please. Thanks for stopping by!

-OG

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hey there OG!

(raised fist}

Remember how I tried to write two posts on the "Psyche of the Black Woman" last week? You really presented it in an entirely different way....and this is just so real, so true....

All men need to read this because you know....sometimes....a man will be really into a sista and will really, really know four or five aspects of us and he will really think he knows his woman....*LOL*...when there are about 20 other aspects of who we are that we haven't even REVEALED YET??! *LOL*

Janet Jackson said in an interview "Jermaine doesn't know who I will be when I wake up in the morning..." and I chuckled because I understand exactly where she was going with that comment... *LOL*

Thank you for putting it out there...absolutely THE ORIGINAL ...

{smiles)
Lisa

blackgirlinmaine said...

I just found your blog but will definitely stop back around. As a child who grew up loving rock music in the 70's & 80's yet at the same time could truly dig on soul music, at times I felt I had no place. Most of my life I have felt caught in multiple places, so this post really spoke to me. It felt like you had reached into my mind and pulled out my thoughts. LOL

Powerful piece.

Lisa Marie Turtle (2008 Model) said...

I loved it!!! :') You were so right about how you right... More like spoken word than simple ramblings. ;)