Thursday, May 29, 2008

Cougar Love in the Club

OK! OK !OK!!! I have to say something. I will say this blog is partly inspired from reading Zack’s blog the other day on DL celebrities and then reading the gossip blogs about Usher and his wife. Usher said this a few days back:

“I’m a guy that decided to marry a woman - a black woman - that wasn’t perfect, that had flaws, that through all in all, she’s been successful on her own. … and that’s a bad thing. I decided to marry this woman, then I decide to be a father to my child,’ he says with a laugh. ‘And that’s a bad thing. It’s not like I got caught with a gram of coke in my car or speeding or was caught for murder, so why would I be ridiculed, that’s why I don’t understand - that’s the part that is mind boggling. Why would I be ridiculed for that, even a year later.”

He also went OFF on MTV TRL about his wife. And I know all of this sounds more like publicity in the wake of his new CD release than real emotions, I have to say, I get Usher.

I don’t understand where SO MUCH of the HATE is coming from other than the fact that he has married some one outside the Black Hollywood fray. He married someone that we would consider normal. Some may call her unattractive or what ever or old, but hey she looks like a regular ol’ sister to me and I really think that is the problem.

If Tameka Foster had been Rozanda “Chile” Thomas* the world would have been giddy with all this fan fare of love. I mean after all she was older than him and I remember how CUTE everyone thought it was when she popped up in videos etc. I mean no one was shouting he’s gay when he was with her or when he wrote and sang Confessions, which was about doing her wrong. However now that he has decided to MARRY a regular ol’ black woman who already has a child and an ex husband the whole world just can’t believe that he would pick someone who, to them, didn’t stand up to media perfection. Would people even be talking and speculating if Usher had hooked up with someone we deemed physically worthy of him. This is nothing but the Hollywood version of seeing the fine man in the mall with some fat, BB-Tam** (bad built than a mutha pucker), ugly woman. “Why is HE WITH HER?!?” is always what the people (mostly catty ass women, gay men, and bitchass men) whisper as they pass by them holding hands and in being in love. Look there is a reason they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I just am saddened that we can’t seem to celebrate black love when it doesn’t meet our standards of beauty. I mean look at all the hoopla and what not over Jay and Bey. It is easier for the world to see why she loves him than Usher and Tameka. Really the issue is that Usher is a man and as a man he isn’t allowed to be deep and fall in love with someone who isn’t a Beyonce or Kim Kardashian. I mean because he didn’t chose eye-candy or a starlet of the moment he has to be gay now and this has to be a cover up sham, it couldn’t possible be that he is not as shallow as we think he is. Wow!

Look there are plenty of young men who like older women I can’t even remember the last time a man who was my age actually tried to holler. I get a steady stream of men from 27-32 always trying to holler. Actually there are younger but 27 is MY CUT OFF! Plus we already KNOW Usher likes older women. Or maybe we thought he liked Chile because she looked his age, maybe he liked her because she was a GROWN ASS WOMAN!! How about that! And maybe he likes GROW ASS WOMEN because we, unlike our younger counterparts, are comfortable with who we are and we know what we will and won’t do … (another blog for another day!)

Now I’m not saying he isn’t gay and she isn’t a beard, but DAMN why wasn’t nobody saying that when he was dating Chile who for all intents and purposes held the same resume as Foster. Older than him, already had children, ghetto azz names (no disrespect to the Tamekas and Rozandas out there…but um) and established in her career. The difference well the obvious difference she was and is considered desirable by the entertainment world, not just some regular ol’ black woman, but an exotic concoction with “good hair” and tawny colored skin exposing her taught mid drift at every turn. I mean SERIOUSLY!

My BFF is convinced that there is a war on the black woman. I mean it just seems it s not good enough to be just plain ol black woman these days. You have to be mixed with something or from another country or something. If I told you how many men always asking what country I’m from or what nationality I am or am I mixed, what happen to just being a plain ol' negro! (another blog for another day... man this list of blogs to write is getting long)

Ok that’s all I have to say about it. I mean maybe Usher is gay and Tameka is a beard I mean really it’s possible, but at the same time couldn’t it be possible that he could fall in love and marry someone who was less than perfect? I’m just asking.

Be EZ,

* I will be calling her Chile through out because I , like her, like Chile better and I REFUSE to type Rozanda too many times, okay more than once.

** I am warning you now WHEN I see BB-Tam (pronounced B-B-Tam) popping up everywhere you better recognize. I’m tired of using terms and shyt and people just take ‘em like they made them for ex: Glamazon (been using it since the millennium began BABY), B-Rock as opposed to Barrack but Imma let that slide really I am, HillBilly (to refer to Hillary and Bill). Look I’m just saying maybe I should start copy writing this shyt. BTW BB-Tam is not mine. It is a term introduced to me by Bus Chick (and used frequently by her ex boyfriend and his frat brothers). However if it blows up into universal slang like Glamazon is trying to I WILL, I repeat, I WILL take credit for the slang going world wide!


PuRp said...

I feel you on that OG. I mean, Usher can marry whoever he wants. Who are we to say that she's not good enough for him. She's too ugly, she's too plain, blah blah blah... If he's happy, then let him be.

And you're right, people are always dogging on sisters. I love me a black woman, all kinds. You can be from the Domincan Republic, you can be from New York, Chicago, Houston (wink at OG) or Backwood Kentucky and I got love for you.

Big Man said...

Oh, I jacked your Hillbilly one. I didn't even know I jacked it from you.

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

It's cool Big Man, I mean really its cool. Just remember the lil' people. *lol*


Sister Girl said...

You go, sista !

One reason why I care LESS & LESS about how someone attempts to tell me what is good for me. I didn't get to my age & earn my stripes by caring about what the funk someone else thought "was best for me".

Let me live & learn the ways of the village,and either I'll rise or fall. But allow me to do what I think is good for me so that I can either evolve or digress...hopefully never the latter.

One Love..

ZACK said...

Thanks for the shoutout!

This is one of your best posts. And I should talk, only visiting your blog for the past 2 weeks. But anyway...

You are SPOT ON about black men being ridiculed for their dating choices by "mostly catty ass women, gay men, and bitchass men". (AMEN!!!!)

Love knows no color, just emotion. And Usher seems to be very happy, which is not true for most brothas. We tend to get married with the influence of an angry father and a shotgun after an unplanned pregnancy.

Tameka hasn't done anything to me, so I'm not dissin' her. If anything, she's an inspiration to anybody who wants to be with a celebrity. It's about swagger.

Game recognize game. And I'm looking unfamiliar.

Danielle said...

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for writing this. What is wrong w/being Black, loving Black and being a Black Woman in particular?

So what he married a woman older than him. When the hell did fake ass, plastic, surgically enhanced H'Wood become the barometer for what's attractive?

I'm also tired of this nonsensical colorism and obsession w/being mixed I don't know what to do. It incenses me to no end.

Mizrepresent said...

I say that man loves that woman...he does, and whats wrong with that, sure she is not Hollywood standard, but i feel ya on what's wrong with the average black woman...not a dayum thing, and it just gets tired, this comparison. Everyday now i see brothers chasing everything but black...i guess we not in...i was in a black club once, and a few white girls showed up, i saw brothers breaking their necks, and working out their eyeballs checking them out. I ain't gonna lie it pissed me off, to the point that i asked said brother, "What, y'all don't like black women no more?" So i commend Usher, and yes, me being older, the men who hit on me for the most part are often younger...i used to run from it, but now i'm just gonna go with flow, and with someone who appreciates me.

jjbrock said...

I don't see any problem with Usher wife she looks ok to me. I believe the problem is her dark skin the same with Michelle Obama. It's got to be the skin because if people didn't have a problem with Chile having a child being older then color is the only thing that is different.
Why can't we darker skin sister get love we need it too? Great article and blog. said...

@ Zack

Game DOES recognize game!