I absolutely positively ADORE Black Love. I mean sure I like Latino love and Slavic Love and European Love and love in general, but I, for all too obvious reasons (and quite a few obscure ones too) absolutely love Black Love. What has brought this outpouring of sentiment over sentiment today OG, you may ask. Well I guess because Barack and Michelle were on the Today show doing an interview and while the topics were about where they stand today fighting for a nomination, the one thing that resonated with me was how much they love each other. Now sure the cynics will say you don’t know them, you are romanticizing them because you are so in love with the very idea of love that you see what you want to see. And to those nay-sayers and sleepwalkers I say, do you. I don’t have time to argue with you over something that to me is so obviously clear. They love each other and more importantly are STILL IN LOVE with each other.
It’s funny because sometimes I forget just how much in love they are. I say that because I will be caught up in the content of what they are talking about or the goal at hand of getting him elected to the office of President and then I will catch him looking at her or vice versa and it will resonate with my soul. You know the look says man he loves him some Michelle. Or she will look at him and I say man she thinks the world of him and then some. Sure I have seen these looks, but it seems so special when I get to see that sparkle in the eye be shared by a black couple.
It is sad that our culture has been decimated and perverted and converted to believe that pimping hoes and shaking your ass for cash is the relationship that our men and women should have with one another. It is troubling to me that so many of our young women spend a majority of time chasing men’s money and our young men spend even more time chasing azz and fast cash (which is often so azz will chase them- vicious circle I know). It saddens me that our sisters and brothers who do make the right choices and do treat themselves with respect are often horrible sexually dysfunctional or just plain sexless. It is so rare that you see two black people (who are professional or hard working) engaged in a sane and loving relationship that when you do it is almost like a case study.
That is why I love black love, cause when I see it weather it’s on a Will and Jada level or Tyrone and LaKreisha level it still resonates in my soul the same. It feels good and it feels right. It feels real. It feels like there have been battles and war wounds, trials and tribulations, and through it all those two have found each other and made it through. However it is the look, it is the look that as a woman, every woman wants to feel. That look that a man gives HIS lover, that look that doesn’t care who sees. It’s that look that says it all without even realizing how comforting or powerful it is to those watching, or even more importantly the one who is the object of the transforming gaze.
I often wish we, black folks, could love one another and I mean just on the most basic level forget the earth shattering head turning romantic love, I just mean the basic love your brother kinda of love, I guess it’s a lot to get over. You know the 300 years of oppression and denial of basic human rights. The chains of slavery extend farther than anyone can imagine. The residue is so hard to get off our wings that we often can’t even fly above sea level let alone SOAR at the mountain tops. It prevents us from looking in the mirror and giving ourselves that look. That’s the thing I think we really don’t see or experience black love abundantly because so many of us are not able to love ourselves. We are caught in the prisons of our minds never realizing that we are love and thus we can’t share our love with others, except in a few fleeting moments with our children or parents, because we think love is something to be given or earned.
Love is such a complicatedly simple emotion. Really it is nothing but caring for and helping with no expectations. No expectation of that son or daughter to be a lawyer or doctor, no expectation of that man to make you his wife or girlfriend, no expectation of that woman to always keep it tight and right. No expectation of who that person is or will be, but just love and admiration for that person. That is love. Unfortunately, I don’t see a lot of that in a lot of cultures/races and I see even less in our communities.
I am blessed enough to experience black love in some aspects, through friends and family. I have still yet found someone to look at me with those eyes of loving consumption, other than my mother, a few good friends, some family, and of course myself. Perhaps I will one day. I have had men love me, but not like I have described. I have only been capable of providing that kind of access to my love for a short time. I think the key is to have someone love me who loves himself first, else it will undoubtedly fail.
I guess that’s why I love seeing black love because it confirms in a round about way the love of oneself. I see two individuals who not only love each other, but truly and completely love themselves. And true self-love, or should I say the realization that you are love is the most beautiful expression to see in the world. With out true self love one is incapable of sustaining true love on a consistent basis. Thanks for letting me ramble about my thoughts on a slow to warm New England afternoon!