Something happen to me recently at work, it was racial. While I can’t prove it and would dare to delve in the psyche that thinks racism or any ism is ok, gotta be really dark and painful in there, I'm pretty confident it was issue of race. Anyway that incident has jostled me out of my internet silence via blog.
To be honest I just haven’t had anything to say that I thought was new or different than the many voices out there. I didn’t have anything to contribute to the conversation that would be seen as anything other than amens and hallelujahs. I have spent this last five years living my life without the need to document much of it outside the occasionally IG pics and a few poignant tweets here and there between a whole lot of fuckery. I've posted here and there but really posting...I haven't.
But my voice … I need to hear it … I don’t need to be heard, but I need to hear it. I need to hear my thoughts on the things and I need to make sure that it makes sense. You see I don’t need to blog so you can read, I need to blog so that I can read and read in a place that accessible to anyone- some of my truths need to be out in the open. The thing about personal blogging that is different than journaling is that for someone like me it makes me accountable for real. I journal to work things out I blog to push things forward. I always come back to the keys and here. This blog. I've tried to move on to another blog a different name a different girl, but there's a reason this one has never left. This one is home for me. My little corner of the world wide web, mostly undisturbed.
I have had this blog for some time now, it has chronicled so much of my life. I’m not even the same person I was in some of those posts, I have grown up and gotten over myself. I have gotten older and hopefully wiser and I have become a better me, or at least I hope I have.
But I want to start writing again because I want to start talking about the space that black women in corporate America occupy and how navigating that path to leadership is a different beautiful unique struggle. A struggle where you want to not only do a great job but you also want to maintain who you are inherently. Is it really a win to rise in the ranks of leadership if you had to give up all parts of you and assimilate into the fold? I don’t know I guess some would say it was. I don’t know but those are the things I want to unpack here.
The microaggressions in the work place are real. And I have spent much of my career thinking it was just me, but now what is painfully and obviously true is that sometimes it isn’t. Oh well, that’s life. However that’s the life I want to start documenting out loud.
Anyway, hi I’m back for a little while I think…