Wednesday, April 25, 2012


written 4-17-12  (2 days before the big three nine) 

Well here I am again. It seems this is how we always meet, me starting the post with the obligatory “I’m sorry I don’t post more often” line,  which I will then follow up with “but I’m gonna be better…”  but the truth is right now I don’t have a lot of sharing to do with the whole wide world (or world wide web).  However my birthday is in 2 days and me coming here to mark where I am in my life has become somewhat of a tradition for me.  So lucky for you guys who like to read me ramble, I’m posting today.
I’m fixin ta be thirty-nine and boy is my life completely different than what I thought it was gonna be at 10, 20, 30 ...hell even last year at 37.  That’s the thing I love about life… you just never know.  You make plans you have expectations and life completely disregards most of that, sometimes for the better… sometimes for the worse…  Even when you think it’s the worst it’s probably not and when you whip around in hindsight you will see that the darkest moments were necessary.  The sun shines brightest right after the rain… or something like that.

I don’t know but I am just grateful.  I am surrounded by people who love me and inspire me daily.  I have the things that happiness is built on, love, acceptance, and pretty shoes.  Professionally my career is still moving and I am finally back on track to getting an MBA.

Funny a year ago I was ecstatic for my 38 birthday; I spent it in Vegas with some of my good Judies and my family.  We celebrated 3 birthdays then: mine, my GGs 78th and my Aunt Lilly’s 90 something (she may not want ALL her business out there like that).  I had finally let go of some fairy tales that weren’t going to happen and come to Jesus with those things not being what I was so sure they were.
A year later I’m in a new space in my life.  I am in love under new management.  I’m a total yoga head.  I am now a devoted practitioner of Bikram yoga 3-4 times a week.  I am in a place financially that I am proud of and a few steps closer to some business goals I have for myself.  Professionally things are good and above all else my family and loved ones are safe and secure…I would have to say as I finish up my 30’s, they have been great years for me.

I lived my 20’s for what I thought my life was supposed to be, everything I did I did because I thought it was what happy people did... what adults did... what young black college graduates did.  In my 30s, I not only discovered what made me happy, I stayed committed to maintaining that happiness no matter how it diverged from what society deemed as acceptable.  I wonder what my 40s have in store.  It’s fun to imagine sometimes but it’s more fun to live life and watch how it turns out.

Anyway I’m finna be the big 3-9 and I’m content with who I am and where my life is right now, it’s quite the blessing when I think about it.  I am peaceful and I am loved.

Be EZ,

No comments: