Warning this is a brain dump!
Actually these aren’t machinations, but I love that word its one of my favorites in the language. No plots or plans I’m up front with mine that is how I get down. It’s how I roll, that is so over as the hip thing to say. Anyway this is just a haberdashery ( another favorite word of mine) of random shyt in my life. You know what’s popping in to my head in no particular order.
I had a pretty cool weekend. I was hanging out, aka as dating; why am I dating if I love TOM A? Well, glad you asked. Well, last I checked TOM A hasn’t put any rings on this finger or even given the kid a title belt and if he asked I would tell him I was going on said dates, so we cool. I guess. I don’t think he is too worried, I’m not. Nobody is threatening his title. Plus friends are cool. I mean I’d be cool if he was dating. Hell I think we have always been dating, we never been exclusive and to be honest BEING EXCLUSIVE scares me. I have slight commitment issues.
I think women stop dating far too soon when men we like are concerned. We date a a guy for 3-5 dates and then shut that shyt down, I just can’t. You pretty much have to make me shut it down, I think. It’s been so long since anyone asked me to shut it down. *lol* I just choose to keep it moving until someone says hey I’d rather you only move around with me, and if I agree then I hand over the keys to my chastity belt! And its all good in the hood!
Dating until you are really sure works for me. I think, for me, it does two things it keeps the relationship in perspective and it gives me a real gauge of how much I like the guy in the number one spot. It makes sure I don’t put all my eggs in one basket. It insures that I really like him and he likes me and makes me less available. Sometimes people end up in relationships because they are just too available. I figure this way I always have other options even though my favorite option is being at my house co funky chillin! (In my Kangol and ADIDAS sweat suit!) And in case it was only infatuation and not love it makes getting over said jerk MUCH easier, but I learned all this THE HARD WAY, through experience!
Being in a new city...dating is kinda cool. Plus there is even less pressure, well first I’m never pressed and having someone you really vibe with in your camp makes you superduperfragilistically not pressed. Meeting the men in this city has helped me get a feel for Boston, most of them are eh. However my fascination with the opposite sex and how they think makes this a perfect experiment. Sometimes I wonder if my lackluster enthusiasm over men is because TOM A is that great or is it because Boston men are that bad or is it because most men are like puzzles to me (who gets excited over puzzles?).
I like the ones that are use to women swooning over them; they are the most interesting to watch when one doesn’t swoon. I really am not a swooner, not on purpose but the things that impress me about a man have to do more with integrity, character, and goodness and less to do with education, employment and bank account. Its funny those are usually the men who view women as conquest and notches and they don’t feel right unless you are running behind them creating a whirlwind of drama. Well I don’t do drama. I make myself disappear at the first sight, sure a few men have made me dramatical and GOD AM I EVER EMBARRASSED for participating in their very own ghetto kabuki theater, and almost immediately I go YOU KNOW BETTER and kick myself for giving someone ANYONE my power. Oh well…we live and learn. Anyway they say things to you abut being intrigued and how you are a different woman and blah, blah, blah. I say things like just think of me as your buddy with out a penis, or your buddy with a rack , or perhaps you can think of me as person and not a vagina to conquer.
Anyway, I like men as buddies and casual acquaintances, but I like women for the more deep stuff. Hanging out with guys is fun and once they get over it, meaning that you probably only gonna be friends they are great. I think it’s because the optimism that one day you might let them get it, even if it is in a weakened drunken Meridith Grey George O’Mally kinda moment. The bonus it takes them about 10 minutes to get over that. Plus with men as homies you don’t have to put the same time in as you do with girls.
I LOVE that I can not talk to a male homeboy for weeks or months, and then send one text about meeting up they are ready to roll. No where you been, no why didn’t you call me back, no anything (well except for free drinks) if they really missed me and maybe a question or two about why the new girl ain’t feeling them or if I’m with anyone right now.
Actually it’s been a long time since I had any of those conversations. I mean really it’s much easier for me to make friends and hang out with men and talk than it is for me than women. I realized pretty much all the women I know besides my BFFs are through said BFFs well the ones that I hang out with talk to regularly. Nice to have someone screen your female friends for you! Plus I have all the home girls I need, guy friends don’t require calling all the time, you can text them to met you out somewhere and they are available and they also ward of the kinda men you DON’T want to make friends with. The female friends I have don’t require all that shyt either which is WHY we are friends!
I doubt TOM A would have a problem with this I’m trustworthy plus he knows and I know that until I move back we are not moving to that. I’m not really in to LDRs. However I do know never say never and my wind changes direction all the time, so don’t look crazy if I tell you I’m in a LDR. I’m also not into acting like men and women can’t be friends. I’ve lost a few homeboys to wives, who refused to let us be friends, but most of the times I can hold my own with the boys and the wives see that I’m not even worried about that at all. Sometimes it’s because they are ex-ships (not my word but I like it), I think ex-sips are easier because all there is left is friends because you both KNOW the other part was not so good. *lol*
Men here are funny…weird…and they make me miss home. They are funny because I don’t know they act like they aren’t used to women being nice or cool. Apparently the women of Boston are some hard azz chicks. I keep hearing that from every dude I hang out with. Anyway I went to a real Irish bar in Southie. Yep only black chick in the place, not sure why my friend thought this was a cool place to have a drink, but hey whatever. I like to get out and look and watch and stuff so I’m game. I also went to a very cool Jazz bar called the Beehive. Down the street from my house too! I love living in da mix! I had a cool time with this guy, who has managed to live all over the world. I love cats like that, because I am all about adventure baby! I like people who aren’t afraid to jump on a plane and see what it do ANYWHERE in the world. I embrace change like a homeless man at a stop light!
So my co-workers are always asking me why or how I meet so many people. And the thing is I don’t know what it is abut me, but people like to talk to me. Maybe they sense my southern girl. I don’t think I am appealing or gullible looking, I do know people also like to stare at me a lot but that’s been happening pretty much my whole adult life so I’m use to it. I’m also use to the small talk, although I HATE it. When people stare I either smile back or ignore them (when I have my shades on which I almost always do…it’s the best way to avoid the uncomfortable glances and bus macks). Anyway I always speak and try to be warm so maybe that’s why people talk to me and then ask me out and what not.
I remember once in college this chick tried to insinuate I was a WHORE because I had been out on so many dates. Plus trust there are WAY many more reasons to call me a whore than going out to dinner, drinks, or coffee with a man who might fancy me. I was always like look this ain’t the strip club and date means date not an illegal sex act in the champagne room. I guess I just look friendly and the fact that I will go out with any decent guy at least once if he ask me right and respectfully means I’ve been on a lot of dates and well I had a lot of fun. But even better I have A LOT of FUNNY stories to tell. Look men are people too! Most dates never go past the first, but I like hearing about other people’s lives and stuff. It’s the stuff movies SHOULD be made of, plus then I always get at least one or two funny stories to add to my “you won’t believe this is not butter” file. I just have never been mean like even at the club I will dance with you if you ask and you are respectful, which means I have been clowned on the dance floor by a few less rhythmic cats.
I guess I missed the chapter on making men feel like shyt. I just think its fun meeting people and it’s not like I am really going out that much people – or at least it seems normal to me and my world.
Should I be offended that my co-workers are dumbfounded that men like to take me out? WTF? People like me! Wait- Don’t answer that ‘cause I really don’t care what they think or anyone thinks for that matter. I am me and some people like me, some people, love me, and some people loathe me and there are even a few people who like, love, and loathe me all at the same time.
I think I found a swimsuit for the DR. I think I’m going to go home to the H in October and I can’t believe it’s not butter and that there is only four months left in this year. This is it, the END of summer countdown. Wow! I am not looking forward to Boston winters at all, but I am looking forward to my first New England Fall!! The Leafers are coming!
Some times I wonder what my future will be like but most times I am too busy living to really worry or wonder. My life is like this great book for me, when I think about all the stuff I’ve been blessed to see and some I wish I hadn’t seen, I feel pretty cool. I always tell my friends I really like my movie.
I refer to my life as a movie, sometimes I sit down and watch it in my head, the beginning is kind fuzzy but boy it seems to get better the longer I watch it. Anyway... Ok I am have rambled way too much and not about anything particular, did anyone else do anything fun or exciting this weekend, last week, last month, last lifetime?
I promise to have a more cohesive thought pattern tomorrow, maybe… maybe not. Who am I kidding I can’t promise anything.