Well, doing our daily chat we had a brief discussion about labels and how some men need them. I have to say it's very annoying. I have come to find I am not a girl who likes them. I am not a girl who needs them. I am not a girl who's dependent on them to move her life forward. The thing is I have never liked them, I think this is the first time I realized how much I don't need them. I was thinking back to the last time I was single. And how much I hated when people would ask me if my ex was my boyfriend. I would be like no he's just a friend boy. Wow I haven't used that term in a long time. Back then, in my gloriously stupid twenties, I had friend boys. It was my term of someone who was a friend with benefits who really had managed to be a friend. I guess if you had to order them you would meet a guy, kick in, move to fwb, friend boy and then boyfriend.
I mean after boyfriend there are only two more spots to the top. I guess that is why I don't like labels because in my life a boyfriend has always been a scary thing, it carries a lot more responsibilities and expectations than I have ever wanted. Even back then, I was afraid of being able to be a girlfriend. I guess that's why I don't worry about labels, because I don't like them. They feel confining. A label from a man is nothing more than a straight jacket to me.
So in our chat we were talking about why do relationships need a label. Why do we need boyfriends/girlfriends, fiancee, husband/wife? Actually I know why we need husband/wife, but I still don't know why we need boyfriend/girlfriend why can't we simply just enjoy one another until whatever comes no matter if whatever is the decision to become bf/gf or a decisions to part ways. It just seems to me when you spend any amount of time trying to define your relationship, you spend less time defining your relationship. Does that make sense.
I mean you spend so much time worried about all the things that the label list, instead of actually enjoying time with that person and learning all the things that will make the label meaningful. I think any time youspend worring about what you call a relationship is wasted time.
I like to think that if you are truly a couple You would know when it was time to make the move to the next phase of the relationship. If you find yourself arguing about what you are
Spend more time being a friend, so a man feels like she really is my gal and my friend or so your woman says he is my home Boy and my friend. Then when the time is right you will both look around and see you are there. I by no means am saying don't ask for the label if you feel you are there, but if you arguing about getting the label. Then the problem is one of two things, your moving too fast or your moving too slow.
(To Be Continued )...blogger issues