E-N-F-J. No I’m not trying to rearrange the alphabet I am trying to give you some insight into my personality and the traits of my personality. If you read me you know I do not believe that these traits are who I am, they are merely the constructive of how the world sees my actions. I get that but I am also not to abstract not to think that these traits for all intents and purpose convey what my typical actions and reactions might be to both fauna and flora of life.
E stands for Extrovert as opposed to Introvert
N stands for Intuitive as opposed to Sensor
F stands for Feeler instead of Thinker
J stands for Judge instead of Perceiver
If you don’t know what I’m talking about this link will help you
The ENFJ personality type comes from the Myers-Briggs test. The test is often given to help figure out what profession they should be. I first took the MBTI when I was at Rice and worked in the Career Services office. I sadly don’t remember what I was then, but they say you shouldn’t change. From what I do remember, the E and J were with out a doubt strong even back then, I am not so sure about the N and the F.
Anyway, more recently my friends and I all took this test again here through an e-mail I received (thanks Leva for starting this off waaay back!). Many of my friends seem to think that this test, more than any test they had taken , was dead on in determining who they were almost to a T. I would have to agree some of the things I read about myself were indeed me and were things that I knew about myself but couldn’t really describe in words until I saw them in my description.
Here are two accounts of who the ENFJ personality type is in a nutshell some refer to the personality type as The Giver another calls it The Mentor. I definitely view myself through my minds eye as a giver, as far as the mentor I have been told I sound like a mother, so I guess it applies. But for the record, mothering is not what I am trying to do I’m always trying to help people live their best lives and be better. This totally makes sense why Oprah is reported to be an ENFJ. No wonder she makes so much sense to me! I have learned that some people are happy being where they are and that they identify with being in the place they are in and don't want to grow for fear of who will they be if they are not that person they grew out of.
ENFJs only make up 3% of the population and most ENFJs are women. I thought that was interesting. I also think ENFJs are somewhat annoying and we tend to assume everyone wants to grow.
What I thought was really interesting about the personality test were how my BFF and I differ by one letter. She is an ENFP. While I am a judger not in the sense of judgment but a Judger is someone who needs to make a decision. Write a list cross it off. Judge the situation. For me I look at things, take in the data around it, and I make a judgment. I often amend or change my judgment on something if new information is introduced but I need to make a judgment to move forward. I need a plan, a checklist, a finite yes or no.
My BFF is more than happy to reserve her decision while information trickles in about the subject. She doesn’t need to make a decision right away like I do. She is far more Zen in her approach letting information build up before she makes her decison, while I may have flip flop back and forth twelve times or watch my intial judgement come true 10 years later, after I forgot about it. Sometime the decision I make is that I don’t need to understand to capture the information, a trait I have develop being a very non-technical girl in an IT world. Sometime I decide its ok not to decide but it still is a decision, none the less. I won't ever not have a decision it would be more or less, I've decided to wait to make a decision on this. I know sick ...sick I am.
I actually think that my BFF being a P has taught me a lot about relaxing and learning to take in the sunshine and flowers. As an ENFJ I am certainly driven and Type A and before our friendship I think that I missed the beauty in the things around me. I was so focused on towing the line that I forgot to have some fun while walking down the road of life. She has illustrated to me more than any person that its possible to be a go getter with out ALWAYS being on overdrive. The frustrating thing abot planning a trip with her is just that she is not so inclined to plan she's a let it unfold as it may kinda girl, while I would like some idea of what is going on and often way before vacation time. I have budgets to get in order and outfits to shop for.
My mother is one letter different from me also, she is an INFJ. I guess I never paid attention to how much of an introvert my mother was until we started living down the street together. As some of you may know my mom lives literally 3 houses down and across the street from me. When I was building my house the builder date slipped, as they usually do, and I had to live with my mother. She was exposed to a few of my not so close friends they would come by her house to go out or whatever. My mom, who when comfortable in social settings is talkative and chatty, would get quiet and sometimes disappear. I had one friend ask me does she like me. Its funny but my mom really is an introvert not so worried about external attention just tooling along. I laugh because I wonder as an introvert what it like was to raise a ME an extreme extrovert! Probably like raising an alien. Although my mom does do this thing when I speak she speaks with me its like she is thinking what I am saying but she would never be the first to say it. I use the have the habit as well but for me I thought it was a way of showing people I was listening, yeah I know CRAZY!
Now this it the other odd thing in the little personality thing, my brother is an INTJ one letter off from my mother but two from me. I thought it was interesting how my mom raised such different personalities form one another but only slightly from herself. I wonder if she had shaped or personalities or just been given two kids with a similar personality to her who express leadership qualities in completely different ways. It took my whole life to learn how to relate to my brother. Why in my adulthood we have formed what I consider a friendship as kids growing up I always thought he was. Now that I know my brothers personality type it makes it easier for me to do what I like to do the most help him grow as a person.
I really wish I knew why I thought higher thought and progressive thinking is something all adults should be after and felt obligated towards. I guess I just think that to me getting better and doing better is so exciting. I look at my world and think of HOW MUCH I have grown watching my friends do things, both right and wrong, and being exposed different walks of life and different people through out my life and I guess I want people to experience that. You know like Spike Lee in School Daze says through Larry Fishburne’s character I want them to “WAKE UP!!”
I feel that life is so much better when you experience it at a conscious level and not asleep or controled by your ego. I really am truly an externally focused person who finds it hard to focus on me. I am always concerned about the well being of others etc. Only in my older age have I learn that you have to take care of you so you can take care of others.
I am interested in knowing if anyone else has taken the MBTI and if you feel the personality description was dead on? Have your friends taken it and do you use that in an effort to better understand who they are as people and make the friendships better? I found the link so if you haven’t taken the test feel free to take it here and then if you don’t mind, share with me what it says about you, if you think its accurate, and anything else of interest about your personality.
I look forward to seeing and discussing your personality types. I promise to actually show up in the comments sections and discuss. I think this is such a fascinating topic to me how people work and think; I guess that is what makes me an ENFJ.