Tuesday, May 13, 2008

From HAIR to Eternity

Ok so I spent majority of my day discussing the evils of weave on another blog. Actually, some one was trying to school me on how Koreans are cornering or have cornered the market based on what she sees in her neighborhood and an Ebony article that was co-signing it. I thought it was crazy assumption and statement to make; because I learned a long time ago there is a WORLD outside of where you lived, even if a major publication prints an article to make your assumption feel valid it still can be a very false one.

If I had based my life on the anecdotal evidence from my neighborhood while growing up, I would be working at Wal-Marts making good steady money and coming home to fry it up in a pan and never let De’Shaun Woods* forget he was a man (*Names were changed to protect me from embarrassing stories about school boy crushes I had). Anyway I got into a long back and forth over hair… OVER HAIR of all things! But if you know me you already know I can debate about almost anything, especially if it is my passion. I guess that year on the debate team did do me some good, huh.

Sometimes it angers me that we as black people want to talk about hair and how we wear it making a statement of some kind as to who we think we are. I mean really when it all boils down to it, no matter what your preference is wearing your hair nappy don’t make you no blacker than someone who wears the yaki down her baki! I have met some of the most backwards bourgeoisie, buppie, un militant women sporting locks of love. Looking more to change the channel while the revolution is happening than to televise it and I have meet some fierce fist throwing Angela Davis wanan be’s looking like they could pass for any and everything besides 100% Zulu Masi!

Why are we even letting our ego’s engaged in such foolishness? I mean , really I just spent way to much time trying to tell a sister in so many words don’t speak like an authority on shyt you don’t know. I guess it would have saved me a bunch of time if I had just written that, but you know me….I don’t bang I rock the DOPE rhymes!! And my love affair for words and creating a solid statement to support my views will win out over verbal succinctness E’RRYDAY!!

Reading the comments with women calling relaxer “creamy crack” THAT IS MY FAVORITE! Women talking about Imma wear weave ‘til I die (I think I would be in THAT group!!). It just had me thinking how much time we spend caught up trying to figure out if what we do is truly projecting self hate or love, when in reality we are who we are. If we hate who we are then everything we do will manifest that hatred of who we are, if we love who we are everything we do will be an expression of how much we love who we are. And as human we all will and do express love differently. To me I love looking at myself in a fly azz wig with a great color, but sometimes I love looking at my self with my hair all unbraided soft black with the few strands of gray wisdom I have picked up. I LOVE the THREE GRAY HAIRS I have in the front of my hair. BUT, I do not love the gray hair that sprang from chin the other day!! Not because it means I’m old just because I don’t like hair on MY chin!

I mean I am OG, simply by being and if tomorrow I chose to snatch this wig off my head and sit at work with my hair in a big half fro half curl (for some reason my hair is too fine to stand up straight but to nappy to lay down flat) it is not going to change the essence of WHO I AM one bit. It won’t make me think I am more down for the cause because I will not let my hair lye anymore!

However I do realize there a plenty of people out there who have not stripped down and truly realized that all the thinking they do of who they are IS NOT who they are. They don’t realize that who they are is the person at that very moment, not who they were in the past or who they plan to be in the future. Therefore, they are wrapped up if the kinda of hair they are sporting (nappy, permed, good, bad, or even bald), the car they are or are not driving, or the location they are living is truly representing who they want to believe is the person they are or at the least want others to believe they are, the projected self. When plain in simple the sooner you realize you are you no matter what changes on or around you, the happier you will be.

I mean, sure I spent way too much time citing facts that contradicted the evidence this chick was trying to cite as “gospel” (ok well at least as some kind of stated fact…I doubt she was trying to say it was gospel) in the comments section of a blog that I love to read and talk about with my friends. At the same time what she said to me and what I said to her ain’t gonna bit more change who we are than a man on the moon, even if she went out and purchased 25lbs of Chinese Remy tomorrow and I burned every lace front I had from here to VA. Although I would like to think that in my exchange I did at least get her to realize you can’t make assumptions about things based on the limited world you see.

I have learned through living this little movie called my life that things can and often are far different than you would imagine especially when you talk about things that you have no interest in. For instance I have a shallow interest or passing interest in many things so I always operate with the assumption that my assumptions about and my knowledge of those things are limited and even if I read a book that means nothing for like many things in life there is more than one way to skin a ct. Ya dig?!?! Which is the same way I feel about things I do have vast interest in, there’s always more to learn. I also don’t believe in absolutes from people telling me I can’t do something to people saying someone won’t let me do it to people telling me doing this makes me this or even telling me how what I want to do is crazy. I think that is the mind set that kills us all, especially US as a balck people.

Just imagine if Barack had listened to all those folks who told him he couldn’t, he shouldn’t and/or THEY wouldn’t LET him run for office. I guess we all would still be riding the Clinton bandwagon proclaiming her as the fist black woman president!! LORD I KNOW Shirley Chisholm rolling over in her grave at the mere thought of such! However y’all know I’m right!

I’m not sure why I wrote this blog other to say a post about hair really made me think about life in two aspects. The first, you are who you are and the sooner you get that and stop applying all these labels to yourself to make you unique, you will realize your uniqueness, strengths and power are there simply by breathing in and out . And secondly, DON’T limit your thoughts, dreams or hopes to what you see around you today. That is all have a nice night and carry on!! *wink*

Be EZ,


Danielle said...

I'm getting tired of hair and colorism among black folks. It's just exhausting. If you wanna wear your hair natural, fine. If you don't, fine.

This idea of "measuring" blackness by hair and shade is some of the dumbest, most pathological shyte I've come across.

It needs to stop. Thanks for your post. The Black Snob is discussing colorism on her blog. You might find it interesting.


OG, The Original Glamazon said...

I feel you, Danielle. It is pathological that we are still arguing over hair and skin. I think of it as the residue of slavery.

As much as we try to rise above it we always seem to revert back to those things and how they are they, to some folks, are the harbinger of your blackness.

I saw that blog on blacksnob, I've been busy going back forth on the other blog, which I chose not to mention cause I didn't want folks (well the three who read my blog) to go over there and gawk.

I read BS's blog and well I have to say it is the same thing we always end up talking about. I'm reading her comments now. However its our same arguments and struggles.

Anyway, we need to stop trying to define what being black is. Being black is whatever you are if you are an individual who shares some racial identity with black people. PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

Thanks for the comment.


Danielle said...

I agree. Just like Q-Tip said "Black Is Black". :-)

I enjoy your blog and reading your stories about life in Boston. I've always thought it seemed like a lovely city despite what I hear that's negative.

ZACK said...

I don't know anything about hair, but I do know that I was positively affected by your comments.

I wouldn't call myself a victim, though. I'm more of an observer. See, just like you asked me not to box you in, please don't do the same to me.

I'm watching the victims and victimizers and giving my honest observation of what I see. If I were dating, then I would be a victim. If anything, I am an overcomer just by being able to share my feelings and show black women how black men really feel. (Or at least THIS black man feels)

Thanks for stopping by and come again soon when you can.

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

WOW! Glad to know there are people who are reading you know besides my 3 -5 regulars. *lol*

Yes Boston has been a surprisingly positive experience, but I refused to expect it to be one way or the other, especially not negative expectations. I have tried to just let the experience of living here unfold, which so far seems to be nice.


Sister Girl said...

Excellent writing !

Although I grew my hair back out because someone that was new in the office at the time wanted to see what I was like with a full head of hair,I'd cut this off AGAIN with the quickness if I found another barber that I trusted.

For many years, I wore my hair in a college cut with a fade & I LOVED IT !!! Women would come to me & tell me how nice it looked/how they wished they could. Guys just really loved it & it didn't get in the way (wink wink). I could throw down all night & no one would be the wiser (execept for those bags under my eyes....LOL).

The chin hairs ?...Oh my,you are in for a real treat,my dear. I never knew of such until I hit the mid 30's & I keep the tweezers and mirror right here on my computer desk(even though sunlight shows them better....and don't let it curl into your skin....you'll just love it).

Be blessed...

leva said...

OoOoO baby we don't wanna go here do we? Oh yes we do.

Just Monday at a BBQ, my friend's husband said to me: "Leva I thought you had some hair last night" my response: "I do, and I'll have some more when I leave in an hour."

However the heck I'm feeling that day, reflects on my hair. Regardless if I'm rocking my fade that Gene keeps tightened up, or my weave down the middle of my back or even my curly fro. Whatever the case may be, it's all me.