Friday, January 19, 2007

Mothers and Daughters: Just a thought.

As little girls we love our mothers. As teenagers we want anything but to be like our mother’s. In our early twenties we learn to become friends with our mother’s. In our late twenties we realize being like our mother’s is inevitable. In our thirties we realize that if we are half the women our mothers are we should consider ourselves blessed.

Recently a very good friend’s mother lost her battle with cancer. It was a long hard fight and she was a great woman, mother, and wife. While she didn’t always do the things that we modern girls consider to be cool, she was a phenomenal woman.

This world is full of different women, women who move, women who shake, women who nurture, women who bake, women who are all about raising our children, women who are about raising their net worth, women who steal, women who give, women who brighten our days with a smile or a flip of their hair, women who demonstrate strength and courage on the daily, women who are afraid to be strong, women who are afraid to be weak, women who inspire us through their actions, and women who inspire us through their non-action.

We never see our mother in any of those women; well I never did until I became a woman. As a girl I was always quite judgmental of my mother. I had no idea how easy she made being a mother look. As girls it is so easy to pick out the faults in our mothers and look at their cracks and bad decisions and say in an all too haughty voice, I’m never going to let that happen to me, I am going to be different. How can she be so weak? And I would be a liar if I didn’t say that much of my success has been because I didn’t want to end up like my mother. However, as I grow older I realize that being my mother wouldn’t be such a bad thing. The things I saw as weak as a girl look like strength through the eyes of a full grown woman. The actions I saw as negatives as a girl I now understand ,as a woman, were must do’s in order to keep my (her child) life positive.

The mother daughter dynamic is such a touchy one; there is no rule book on rearing children and there definitely isn’t one for handling the surge in estrogen that we all get as tween-age girls, also known as puberty. There is no one to tell you what the outcome of your actions will do its all trial, error, and prayer. It's a completelty subjective job where your input can make a huge difference or none at all.

As a woman who was blessed enough to have become friends with her mother in her adulthood, so many of things I never understood or misjudged as a girl I can totally relate to. Its funny but I guess its true some things you just can’t understand until you live through them! And some things you don’t appreciate until you realize they may not always be there!

Be EZ,

No comments: