Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Stand up Straight

So right now I am reading Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style. Yes READING not watching. I don’t have cable, however I may break down and get it soon, and thus I am Bravo and HGTV-less in Boston. I just can’t see myself paying for cable here and home and I don’t want to turn of cable at home because well…I’m lazy. And I like to have cable when I come home, plus shutting down some things at home seems like me shutting down home. I am thinking of getting the most basic of basic cable at home and then maybe then I won’t feel wasteful for having cable here. TV is the devil! I just am trying to see how long I could make it with out TV stations dedicated to my specific interests.

Anyway I’ve been reading Tim’s book and I am happy to say I have already done a lot of the stuff he is talking about, I have my own personal style, sometimes too much of it. SO I do need to clean out the closets. I have spent a few painstaking years learning my personal style and the things that look good, great and fabulous on my body type. If I were to sum up my personal style I’d say it is highly feminine. I am typically drawn to sweaters, sweater sets, full skirts, A-line skirts, dresses (mostly of the wrap variety but not always), A-line dresses, and a few 1950’s Donna Reid full skirt dresses too. I have an occasional pencil skirt and a couple of other things that work for my shape. Its taking me a long time to get it right, but I think for the most part my choice and style go well with whom I am and my age and the personality I want to project. The guy in the sandwhich line once told me I was always dressed nice! I happily accepted that compliment because yes I do think about what I am going to wear and since I am lazy the thought I have is about 10 minutes before I put it on my body, but that is the best part about knowing my style, I can’t tell you when I have spent more than 10-15 minutes deciding what to wear and I can’t tell you when the last time was that I spent changing clothes countless times looking for something that looked good on me. I did change my skirt once because the extra 5 lbs on my azz I hadn’t noticed made it a little French maidish!

The older I get the more I become aware of who I am and what works best on me and for me. I realize that I have one of those bodies that can cheapen up even the most demure outfits so coming to terms with the fact that I can’t wear certain things took me a minute. I can put on a dress made for a church marm and turn it into Moni does Minneapolis. I don’t wear shorts because they make me feel like a walking porn star. Although I prefer clothes that are closer to my body, and maybe too close to my body for a few of the church marms I pass. Its cool though I like it and most of the time so does the rest of the world.

I prefer dresses and skirts because no matter my size, my waist is always significantly smaller than the rest of me. Nothing showcases my small waist more than a nice full (no pleats) skirt and a sweater set. Think Leave it o Beaver! I have come to realize that if I really want a pair of adult work pants, I will have to take them to the tailor for that very reason and why I am not Buffy the Body I do require my waist to be taken in a bit, the pants I have to buy the fit the rest of me as opposed to the size my waist can take is sometimes more than what a belt can handle, but things like being able to have someone fit your clothes etc are things that come with getting older and learning what can work off the rack and what can’t. I wish I would get in the habit of doing it more regularly, but I only go in the most extreme circumstances, which always results in a side-eyed stance from my BFF telling me you really should go to the tailor your body begs of it. I have found jeans that are made to fit me, I use to hate wearing jeans in my twenties and would only wear jeans in a certain size, hence when I was bigger than that I never wore them, however in my thirties the jean has become my best friend. I once had a suitor who was disappointed I wasn’t clad in jeans on our date. *lol*

Anyway this post was really about posture and why I just don’t get bad posture. How does one become comfortable holding bad posture? I mean this world is full of people with horrible posture. I have always been proud of being tall; therefore I have never dealt with the tall girl slump. I don’t know but slumping or shrinking in my skin just wasn’t allowed nor do I remember ever thinking it was an option, I’m sure it’s the Aries in me. I think how one holds his/her carriage definitely determines many things in life. It affects how people treat you, if you are seen, and definitely how you look in your clothes whether they are the wrong or right choice. I mean I just think standing up straight, shoulders a part (not back), and pelvis tucked delivers confidence. Just as standing head held to high and shoulders too far back delivers perhaps a bit of haughtiness as if you want to bang your chest to let others know you think yourself better than them. There is a difference, I have learned, between good posture that says I’m confident in who I am and good posture that says I am confident I am better than you. I wish I could show you, you know like a YouTube video or something.

It’s easier to see the difference between those who lack confidence and the confident than it is to see it between those who are overly confident to the point of arrogance and the confident. Am I crazy?

You see, humans are animals and body language is the number one thing we use when sizing up prey, predators, and all those in between. It’s the reason some kids get picked on and others don’t (sure there are other reasons too). I think sometimes people can even tell when confidence is feigned and not natural but forced.

To me confidence when it is natural and real is something that just rest down to your bones. I can even tell when people who are normally confident have their confidence shaken. I’m an observer of people its why I like the bus, train, and living in the city and all that jazz, you get to watch all kinds all walks of folks move through life. You also get to make up wildly insane lives for these people with your over active imagination. And since I’m a people person I get to interact with those people and see if my assumptions were right or wrong.

I’m a good reader of people THESE DAYS, but not always. I have tweaked my people reading skills over time, some people are really good at pretending or perhaps it’s that they have been pretending so long they now believe the bullshyt they are selling. Who knows, I do know watching people and who they are will always remain one of my favorite past times. Do you think there are differences in how the naturally confident and the naturally arrogant carry him/herself? Can you spot someone who is trying to fake it until he or she makes it? Or am I crazy? Do you know what your personal style is? Man I am all up in the business today! ALL UP IN IT!

Be EZ,


Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

self reflection and age should go hand in hand, but most ignore the yearning for inner growth

good, i aint only one that know readingg is fundamental

NoRegrets said...

To answer the style question, I do know what looks good on me and what I feel comfortable in. Sometimes I choose to ignore it because I want to feel frumpy, but trying not to do that too much. I took cannot/will not wear shorts unless I HAVE to - like to do construction.

To answer the posture/carriage question, I think it's not only that but the face. You can see disdain. You can see confidence. All in the eyes even.

Mizrepresent said...

I can most definitely tell the FAKERS from the real, and i'm glad cuz i don't want to deal with those who are fake. I am so comfortable in my skin mosttimes, but i have to admit there are times i second guess myself (yep, i'm still a work in progress

My personal style, conservative sexy...classic, and most times never over the top. Yeah, i may look like i'm going to church when i'm going to the club, but hey...that's just me...i ain't 20 no more, lol!

Keith said...

Personal style comes with age and maturity. You get to a point where you just know what works for you.
You accept your limitations. You stop worrying about other people's
obsessions..that's when you truly become free.

WNG said...

Try PBS, OG, it's gotten me through many a cableless night :-)

As for the slumping...I'm guilty. I am. My body reflects my mood and when I'm feeling down I slump. I try to catch myself, but I don't always. It's a bad habit I'm working on.

As for cleaning out your closets - it's a great idea (and can be a great tax break if you give your clothes to charity)

I'm still working on defining my style... I really hate shopping for clothes and tend to try to just get it over with. If I could wear jeans every day how happy I would BE!!!

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hello there!

I am not sure that body language can convey "I'm better than you"...but I do think that some people are just dismissive of those around them for a number of reasons that do not have to do with their "measuring" them in relation to themselves.

No one can "imitate" self-confidence. They can try but no one will be fooled.

Mo'Nique kept claiming that she looooved being obese and she thought she was sexy. She has children by different men, was pregnant out of wedlock, has been married and divorced (twice?)...somebody correct me if I am getting this mixed up...but the point is that is she was TRULY self-confident, THAT would reflect in her choices.

Many women are loud and attention-seeking due to deep-seated insecurities, not due to the fact that they have an outgonig personality.

Star Jones kept claiming that she loooved being obese and that fat was fabulous. Eventually, she started confessing about her low self-esteem and insecurities.

Some women fetish and objectify themselves because they feel THAT is the only way that they will have male attention, and male attention (to them) is the way they measure their attractiveness. This is also a reflection of low self-confidence.

This is a very interesting conversation and I am glad I stumbled upon it!

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!

By the way, several transgendered women added to the conversation at my blog in the last couple days!

Sister Girl said...

I feel you on the clothes shopping thing. It's very hard for me to decide upon what I like because I'm so finicky being a full figured chick, & I definately won't just wear anything ! Most of my things are seperates/coordinates & I simply loathe trying on stuff in the store(I'd much rather bring it back if if don't work out). And you know that I love looking sexy without showing a fella JACK shyt (LOL)....Keep 'em guessing !

Confidence ? You know that I'm all about that. I won't allow anyone or anything to make or break me. I'm the ruler of my own happiness & if I allow circumstantial issues to get me down, then it will. I was always taught correct posture because it affects so much about you. Have you ever noticed that the way you speak sounds diffently when you do ? Most people that I speak with via phone say that I don't sound "BLACK". At first I was insulted a little, but then I lingered a bit on that thought & thanked my mother whom enforced us how to use proper annunciation.

Fakers are all around you, and all you have to do is give them time to show themselves(because they will). It may not happen immediately,but the lock Pandora's box is only so strong. But these things have to occur in your life to know the lesson that you come away with.


Big Man said...

Moni does Minneapolis? Now I'm curious about how you look in shorts if that's all it takes to transform you into a porn star.

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

@torrance- Yep yep! Reading all day err't day love books! I have a BA in English

@NoR- yes the eyes are the windows to the soul FO SHO!!

@Miz-girl I think sexy is sexy and I bet you still bring it down in a repectful way! *lol*

@Keith- Yep I must agree. If I could put 30 year old sense in 20 year old heads!!

@WNG- PBS note taken and I'm glad to know I am not the only person who has gone organic with her TV.

@Lisa- Yep yep yep! I have always looked at women who try to blow this horn about HOW HAPPY THEY ARE some way. I can't think of a woman from Oprah to those you mentioned who really are as happy as they say. My thought is my weight doesn't define me I don't look at my size for happiness I am happy because I am me and me is not defined or tied up in if I'm in pulling clothes from the skinny or fat section of my closet. Would I like to be super fine? Sure but will being super fine change my daily problems NOPE. I will have to head over and check out whats going on over there.

@SG- I prefer to try on at home but I I do sometimes try on in the dressing room it just depends on how I feel.

@big man- lets just say its the azz the azz the azz. There has never been a time where I have donned shorts where I have NOT gotten all kinds of sideways whats up on that comments and even sometimes azz slaps!! Trust for me shorts are for home and playing basketball (which I haven't done in FOREVER) I got next!!