Saturday, May 21, 2011
I'm not a scary person...I really believe I was never promised the spirit of fear so its not something that I'm really familiar with. I'm not use to it. I don't know what to do when it shows up. So I generally just retreat. When faced with fear of what not (or maybe what will be) I rather just prepare myself for the worst. I gotta stop it I don't think its what I should do.
I'm at a tipping point where I gotta just trust in what I have learned about myself and do something different. I gotta realize what I have done in the past has some flaws. The plan needs to be tweaked. This is the hardest point where you make the choice do something differently than you have your whole life. Its hard tho. Real hard. But I keep telling myself that I"m not insane. (Insanity is repeating the same actions & expecting different results). If I want a different result, a better result, the desired result, I gotta do something different. And I gotta face my fear. Cause fear really isn't an option I gotta trust my gut and go.... I cant be afraid of something that hasn't happed I gotta live in the now. *Zen stance* *deep breathe*
Monday, May 2, 2011
I totally get this. I totally understand WHY we are out in the streets celebrating the death of a man who made it HIS life mission to eradicate everything American on this earth. I do. I’ve seen the footage of him & his minions (and other American haters) celebrating the deaths of thousands of Americans & American supporters as a result of their Unholy Holy War. (I wish I knew why it’s always some crazy niggas in every religion that try to put this bullshit on God, but yanno that’s not for me to understand. So I don’t). I get that this is finally the payback that Americans have been looking for and I understand all that. I support all that. I think all that is great if it works for you. I get that most people are celebrating
more than they are celebrating the loss of life… I get that… I get that… I get that… America
However while I am pleased that justice has been served, that we finally located, trapped, and killed the devil we help create. I am conflicted at joyously dancing & celebrating in the streets. I’m talmbout ME not you and what you do. Cause if you are happy and you are celebrating and you don’t have any conflicts about the death of Osama bin Laden, public enemy number one, I’m really happy for you. Actually I’m elated for you.
Me…I’m just not built that way… I’m more gray than I am black & white. I’m more empathetic, even to monsters. I value the lives of all human beings, as they were created by the same hand that created me, even if those human beings are pure unadulterated evil. I think that’s why I have a hard time cheering for any loss of life. I mean shit even Jehovah frowned when he cast Lucifer to the earth out of heaven. Well, I think God is always sad when our free will leads us away from him, but that’s just how I see Him… I don’t want to debate theology here, I'm just sharing my thoughts. I mean after all when a nigga makes the wrong choice, I mourn for his life a little cause I know its not gonna turn out well…
Anyway, I am pleased that so many people and our country can have some kinda closure… I guess this goes in the W column for
and Obama, but I just feel some kind way about me cheering about it or feeling some type of vindication because in the end life has been lost, even if that life was one that bought nothing but destruction and mayhem… See conflicted as a mutha fukka should be my middle name, but I’m just a thinker and how I process shit is different. I make love not war so… death of the unrighteous is hard for me to process. I don’t wanna mourn it because well… but I don’t really wanna celebrate it either… Its kinda just a welp, a “they shouldn’t been doing what they was doing….. they HAD to know better…” kinda moment for me. America
But that’s me. I have looked in the eyes of a nigga who took the life of one cousin and the innocence of another and still not wished him death. I don’t know I guess I’m funny that way. I just don’t like the loss of life especially for those who need redemption because I know my faith tells me that those folks there don’t have a very pleasant after life ahead of them, but then again I don’t know shit about that after life because there is certainly redemption offered to all of us. The choice is ours….
Anyway, I am happy for the closure and unity the death of Bin Laden seems to be bringing the country. I think at this time its something we need… However I am not happy at the loss of life… I’m more matter of fact about it, you know like that’s what the fuck happens when you do evil shit man…you gone get got… I thought I told you. Oh well fuck you and next time don’t think
is on some bullshit. America
Anyway though, I am full supporter of people feeling and doing what ever they want for this moment because it’s America and that’s why folks have fought, killed, and died so Americans have the right to celebrate or not celebrate the death of anyone friend or foe how they want to… Me, I’m not gonna celebrate but I’m not gonna shit on people who do or who feel a different way than I do about it, cause it’s not my right to. I only have rights to the opinions & actions of one person and that’s me.
I suggest you process this moment in history how YOU see fit and fuck what everyone else says about it. That’s what Imma do.