I probably shouldn’t be sharing this, but here I am putting all my business out in cyber space for people to gawk at. The fact is that according to my friends, my life is always full of some shit that never happens to anyone but me. In actuality is seems quite normal and mundane to me, at least it does at the time. Ok sometimes it does seem like some fuck shit* as I’m living it, but most of the time it’s only after I have moved far beyond it that I look back and think how the hell did I get there and let THAT happen, but that’s life. Isn’t it? I mean I have always felt my life, littered with it's random choices, was as it was suppose to be. How else do we really learn to live, love, and laugh?
I remember a simpler time when I would just come home and write and share way too much information about the machinations that were my life. I wondered who was reading, but really most of the time I wrote like this was my personal journal. Writing has always helped. It has always kept me as close to center as girl like me can be. (Truth of the matter is I’ll never be centered way too much fuck shit in my life to ever think I was “normal”)
The thing is, a demanding career, that I dreamed of but never quite believed would materialize, has taken over my life. It’s cool because I love it, but it also has pushed out some of the things I really love, mainly writing, especially blogging. If it were not for Twitter and my ability to share my ridiculous randomness with mostly strangers in 140 bite snippets, I’d probably blog more or be really insane because I can’t make/find/create the time to write. However like a good mistress, Twitter allows me to engage in fuck shit and commentary on my fuck shit without any real or true commitment to the love of my life, writing.
Lately I’ve missed her. I’ve missed the way I could play with her and not be tied to rules about how much I could say in an hour. So I’m here. I’m here writing way over the limit about absolutely nothing. I like that, maybe I’ll do it more often and share some of the fuck shit that is my life. Maybe I won’t. I guess I’ll just have to keep living and see what happens.
* Oh yeah and just to clarify fuck shit is neither good nor bad but is what makes life go. I know it’s so very Zen of me and Oprah and Tolle would be proud of my take on it. I’m sure of it!