Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Man I love my house. I am the most excited about returning home to make my house a home. I left my house 8 months ago. I had only been living in my house for about 6 months before I packed three suitcases and headed to Boston. Some folks thought I was crazy. Girl you just built that house, now you are going to live in another city? Was the response I got the most often when I told folks I was going to work in Boston. I said well it's only temporary and this job allows me to keep my house, live in Boston, and save some dough to pay for all the new house shyt I had recently purchased MUCH faster than my old job would allow. I firmly beleive in stepping out of your comfort zone, especially professionally. So I did. It seemed more uncomfortable for others than me at times.
Well folks, I am so HAPPY to be coming back to my place. My house is my baby. Here is the background on my piece of heaven. This house represents my new beginning. When I was married we built what I call a box home (major builder with predetermined floor plans etc). When I divorced I decided I wasn't going to fight over the home. So I let my ex live there because it was apparent he wanted to and despite all the extra I had put in my home he wanted it. I left it and said I'll get another one, my own. That was my goal to live in my OWN house with in 2 years of leaving my old one. And well I did it. To me my house signifies that I can do whatever I put my mind to. It shows me I can do it. It shows me all things are possible. And it reminds me of hard work and perseverance.
One day I'll share where and how TOM A and I met, but the more important thing is on our first date, I told him I wanted to build a house and he told me he was a builder and that he built semi-custom and custom homes along with other contractor type things. TOM A found the piece of land my house is on today and his company is the one who constructed my spot. Now his partner left a lot to be desired but in the larger scheme of things I have a house. TOM A actually put me in great position as far as my home's worth and what I paid for it, even in this recessed economy. It is funny because he built my house, not literally but his company built my house, now he has my money and my heart. That was both a blessing and a curse through out the building process. My one year anniversary was this past summer. I think I closed late August and moved in labor day. I can't remember. I do know I closed a few months before my two year divorce-ary (anniversary of my divorce being final 11/17/2005). Its hard to believe that I've been divorced almost as long as I was married.
Anyway I left my house full of boxes only living in a few rooms. I had been in 6 months but was waiting for my bonus to do some major house stuff. I had a list of things I planned on doing with my bonus. Well I got my bonus and quit my job the same day. I basically went to Boston two and a half weeks after getting an awesome review and getting a nice bonus. Since I wasn't gonna be home, I used most of the money to pay off as much debt as I could, move to Boston, and to get my front lawn in order. It was looking a little rag tag before I had that HUGE tree trimmed and new sod put in.
Everything else I put on the back burner. The couch I needed downstairs. I'm still shopping for it and changing my mind about it every week. The backyard privacy fence and landscaping I wanted. The sprinkler system for the front and back yards. The Patio laying and bar-b-q grill buying. . The wing back reupholstery and decorating of the navy guest bedroom. Since I had a house before I had PLENTY to put in the new place I only needed a few things to complete my HOME. But it still sits not completed. This is the slide show of what needs to be done on the inside.
Now that I am almost home, 2009 looks to be the year I finally MOVE IN my house, well unpack all the boxes. I never had a house warming party although I have had a few parties at my place. I need to clean the carpet upstairs and take care of few other constructions things, like painting the downstairs half bath cabinets. I asked them not to be painted because I wanted to try a treatment on them. I still have bookshelves that need to be built for the upstairs landing and books in boxes in my garage waiting for those bookshelves. I also want to hang a hammock in back yard. So my new goal is to have my house ready for a HUGE Labor Day open house kind of party so all my friends and family can just stop in and say hey or visit a while. The backyard should be done by then or that is my goal, to have everything PARTAY ready! I could change my mind. I use to love throwing parties like this but its been a while so maybe I've lost my Martha Stewart mo jo. I think 10 months is plenty of time to catch up and get moved in for real for real and complete the vision of my house I had when I first picked out the plan.
I'm trying to be conservative on what I spend, but for me my home is the only thing I feel comfortable spending on these days. Its my safe harbor and I rather be there more than anything, well unless some other amazing opportunity comes along. I am so excited to get back to the business of making a home. I know it so terribly girlie of me, but what can I say enjoy being a girl!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Well fam, I am in my last days here in Da Bean. I must say that my time here has been everything. It has been good, bad, happy, sad, I've had joy, pain, sunshine, and rain. I think I have brought a unique perspective to a city that is in some places still covered in past racist residue. Its been a unique journey as a black woman who comes from a place where the residue, well its not residue it still raining quite hard. When you come from a place with lots of cities like this its hard to understand the excuses that are made. However if you are able to live in this city awake and not unconscious you can appreciate it and it can both break your heart.
I went home the weekend after the election and I have to tell you folks who are not from a red state or from a large metro area, there is still sadness. The day after the election my coworkers and I, a white guy and a Indian chick were elated and happy and discussed the historic victory and that day I could FEEL the hope from the time I stepped out of my brownstone. When I returned home back to South Park in Jim's meat market there was no hope. I overheard conversations about how things were going to be worse for us before they got better. Crys text me that she saw an unusual number of people being pulled over. I figured that was the Red State reaction, better get all these niccas rounded up for THAT ONE
the uppity nicca gets in office and stops all of this. Red states are playing lots of doom and gloom and calling lots of names and refusing to let children talk about President-Elect Obama in school, it really is sad. However its the little bit of reality that allows me to NEVER FORGET, much like Jews and the Holocaust.
I think blacks from the south who migrate to the bluer parts of the country have a unique view. It's funny because many blacks from more progressive states look down us, don't understand how we live in places where the racial tension is sometimes hostile. They don't understand why we don't get our black gloves on and show these white folks a thing a two. However I think it is the southern black that often realizes the humanity in all. When you grow up black in the south and plan to expand your world the first thing you learn is that there are good folks and bad folks and not all folks believe what the majority does. Or at least that is how it was for me.
I grew up getting back handed compliments, about not being thought of as black. It wasn't until I was older that I really got what that meant. I grew up learning how to make the best of the chances that were given to me. I grew up learning how to confront folks yet retain a certain southern gentility that we southern folks, especially women, are known for. Anyway enough about that these are some of the more random differences I have found living here in a blue state. Some I will expound on others well not so much.
Less eye contact
I knew it was gonna be a fact. Not as bad as NYC but it's not the south. I still smile, I'm a southern girl what can I say!
Easier to get to where you're going
Mass Transit...although I have noticed more access and better service in the less urban
black parts of town. However to be fair they're in places where there WAS economic growth before this recession.
Walking is king
I think I will miss this the most. Boston metro is a walking place. Its easy to walk almost anywhere in the raised part of the city, also know as the original city. And its a beautiful walk especially as the seasons change. So many things blooming and looking beautiful. If you have the time you can walk pretty much anywhere in the city. In my part of the city, The South End, I rule the world as a pedestrian. When I even look like I am thinking about crossing the street, cars SCREECH to stop so I can cross the street. Not so much in Roxbury.
SEASONS!! well except winter
I come from Houston, where there are two season hot and rainy, so being able to experience the thaw into spring, summers made for yachting, and the most beautiful vibrant brisk fall I have ever EXPERIENCED has been the best experience ever.
I loved my Boston apartment and neighborhood. I honestly believe IT is why my experience here has been so positive. Location...location...location.
Live and let live
Here there really is a live and let live mentality and while there are people who still harbor prejudices, you feel they are truly relics around here. As opposed to where I from, the hates seems to not get handed down and accepted by the younger generations.
The class divide between blacks.
Its a bit troublesome, but I do see that here. In a place where blacks have been free so long we see some of the same human dynamics we see across the world. We see that money and class will work its way in to the game some way. I'm a girl from the working class who has worked and studied her way into a class, that I'm not so enamoured with. In the south there seems to be less of the talented tenth versus the corner, but here I feel it and well its one of my least favorite thing about being here.
Now for the real scoop
Hmmm the men here in Boston, well the black men, I'll expound on that one in just a bit. They are not as aggressive as where I come from or many of the other places I have visited or just passed through on a travel lay over. I've been quite a few places around this country from New York to Florida to Minnesota to Washington to Hawaii to California to Illinois and so on and so forth. I have to say Boston black men are not that aggressive or maybe I'm just not what they like. I was told by a few dates its because the women here SHUT IT DOWN that they are hard not sweet or gentile or lady like. I think that's kinda a cop out, but I do feel a coldness between the opposite sex here that was new to me. I prefer my country boys (did I mention TOM A is from a small little country town like me, actually smaller than my town if you can believe it.
The other thing is that in Houston I enjoyed a bit of what I call sexual invisibility when it came to white men. Very rarely did I have to deal with flirtatious men from other races
well not counting the Pakistani convenience store owners Or maybe I was just so oblivious to Houston white men flirting. Its funny why the black men here seems almost scared the white men left no doubt when they could smell what I was cooking! *lol* That has been fun. I liked it.
For the most part the men have provided me with many colorful stories. I can't wait for TOM A to come up here and weigh in on what he thinks about this place in his short visit here. Should be fun.
That's it for now, although I am going to miss being mistaken for Puerto Rican, Dominican, and Cape Verdean. No one really ever walks up to me speaking Spanish in Houston. I'm not exactly your typical looking Mexican but apparently I fit right on in with these Hispanic and West Indian blacks of Boston real well!
Have a great day and let the countdown begin. 5 days til LIFT OFF!! Houston you about to have a solution...not a problem! The prodigal Glamazon returns!!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Well I actually got tagged twice in the past few days one was a very nice award from my favorite scholar folk Raw Dawg B, my scholar warrior!
Thanks and I guess I will be passing this on to my fav five Serious Scribblers. In NO PARTICULAR order.
Raving Black Lunatic
Eclectik - Relaxation
Blackgirl In Maine
and I'm a game changer
Kudos!! You guys really keep me entertained. That includes you too Torrence!!
Speaking of Fungke, she tagged me to share 7 random facts about myself. I have been saying I was going to do a 2008 101 (some of the things I listed well they ain't true about me no more...well the things like going through a divorce and never have lived anywhere but Texas) but this should suffice for those who want to KNOW more about me.
1. I have a 1995 Houston Rockets NBA championship ring with my last name on the side.
No I didn't screw someone or ride the bench back then. I actually interned with the Rockets for 2 years in the Basketball Operations and Media Relations departments. My old boss is the head of NBA media relations now! I could have BEEN somebody. *lol* Anywho the VP of Basketball Operations thought my contribution to the team was great enough to gift me with a ring. I was one of three interns who got one. Just so you know when a team wins a championship E'RRYBODY who works for the organization gets a ring (and to be in the victory parade- hello random people on the floats the world doesn't know) and so do the wives and some other key family members. My ring is the staff version, there is also a wife version (wives can have the top of the ring as a pendant, bracelet, or an actual ring).
2. I hate small talk with strangers
If you know me in IRL this is one of the MOST RANDOM things about me because I love to talk and I love me some people. However I do not like to chit chat in elevators about the weather or grocery store lines about the cover of people. In general I just like to smile real big and say hi. I definitely don't like people starting a conversation with me. Now if I feel like it, well that's different. Anyway I guess I don't like it because to me its not authenticate. I hate fake. I really do. I guess its a good thing I seem to like most folks because when I don't it's hard for me. I don't show disdain but I do try my best to WRAP IT UP...the conversation, pervs.
3. I am allergic to FRESH pears
They make me break out into welts. Like I got beat for calling my mom out of her name welts. It is hereditary. My dad was also allergic to them, unlike him I was adventurous enough to find out canned pears do fine by me. My father wouldn't even look at pears.
4. I have met Beyonce
Sure she was like 16, but I did meet her and the other three, remember back when there were four. Well Juanita (the pastor's wife at St Johns, the Knowles church in Houston) was speaking at my church for a women's event. My job was to introduce Juanita and also make the women's group I was in look younger and hipper. She brought along DC to sing Amazing Grace before she preached. I was with my college sweetie at the time, so we chopped it up with the girls. They were excited because their song Killing Time had just been picked up on the Men in Black Soundtrack. Me and my sweetie both said I think they got a shot. UNDERSTATEMENT of the century! So you see when I say I STANS for Bey I STANS for her. *lol* I know I'm tooooo grown for such nonsense. (Crys, notice the S)
5. I will only work out to music that is performed (don't want to use the word sing cause some of it ain't singing) by fine people or have fine people in the song's video.
Yes I work out to a lot of PERFORMING people. The second clause does help me get some more music in the rotation, after all fine is in the eye of the beholder. Look don't judge I need inspiration to run up one more flight of stadium steps.
6. I have a ridiculous memory
Or maybe its just my friends have really crappy ones. I am the holder of all the useless knowledge and random shyt. Once my friend bus chick's husband asked her had she ever done something and her reply was Hmmmm...I don't remember let me call [OG] and ask her.
It's not photographic or anything but I can learn things fairly quickly and retain that knowledge. Crys is convinced it is my azz that stores the extra stuff other people forget. Not all the time, I recently forgot a face and a name and its been killing me, I TEND to never forget faces or names. Old age is a BYTCH!
7.I use to sing outside my grandmother's house with a stick when I was seven
Along with sell coloring book photos to the neighbors, stick clear straws in ant beds, and build MASSIVE dams as the rain water was running in the sewer. All and all I was a crazy kid. The stick story is so funny because my aunt married (and later divorced) our across the street neighbor. So one day at a family event, I was about 16-17, my uncle called me out on my stick performances. Turns out he would see me from his kitchen window across the street. Never occurred to me that anyone would be paying attention to me. I still remain in that world today, you know the one where it AMAZES me people are watching anything I am doing.
I am extremely uncomfortable with praise. I do not like it. I am not sure why. But I find solace in being EVERY WOMAN its all in me!! *lol* Really I like to do my job well and appreciate when people tell me job well done or good work. However anything over the top. Any the best ever or she's my 10 or Perfection talk makes me uneasy. I guess it's because for me when you get use to hearing that kind of praise it may make you complacent. I spend my life always trying to be better than I was yesterday and if you start to believe you are the best you stop striving so hard to be the best.
Now here is the rest. I want 7 random facts from people that I KNOW will do it, that haven't been tagged already, that I find interesting (some of you I stalk via lurking on your blogs, wishing I was cool enough to be your friends. *lol*), and that I just want to know more about. So will the following please report to the dance floor or blogsphere or what ever just give me 7 RaNDOm facts.
you don't blog enough and your WHOLE life is random shyt...come on SHARE
share some bidness...some RANDOM bidness
I know you gotta a black folks soul like me so I am sure there is plenty of randomness in there.
Blackgirl in Maine
I need to know what kind of randomness spawns when you trek from the Chi to Maine
I love your life gotta know more...even if it's random
Sane and Single
maybe this will get your posting juices flowing
The Black Barbie
Represent for the young 'ens
Now you know what I want, here are the rules of how it's suppose to go down!!
I can NOT wait to read. Y'all know I'm not working right now. At home packing I need things to distract me from the task at hand!!
Monday, November 17, 2008
-Charlotte, SATC Movie
Ok I know these blogs can be a little sappy, but I said I am going to document my happy moments as opposed to my sad one. I'm a journal keeper and the thing I remember about reading old journals is I tended to document the hurts more than any other emotion and even in my early blogging I documented more of the sad times than I did the good ones. I said one of the new things the new more adult solidly 35 me would do, would be to document the happy moments as much as the sad painful growing moments.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
A close friend and confidant of the US President-elect known as "Obama's big sister" is leading a new generation of affluent blacks preparing to ride to power in Washington on the back of his election victory.
So I gave you the above article yesterday and I want to talk about it today. I guess the thing that I find most troubling is that somehow many people believe if the Obama administration is majority black or minority that it is somehow favoritism.
After all no one ever thinks that when an administration is majority white. The thing is that in this country whites are a quickly shrinking majority and secondly jobs in an administration have to do with your affiliation.
As a black graduate from a top tier school (not quite Ivy but one that has the nickname of Harvard of the South) I know there are enough blacks to fill many of the post in the administration and do the job well. As the article says there are tons of black professional groups and alumni associations, especially at schools like Harvard and Stanford. I have a few friends who are graduates of those school professional school who say the alumni associations are the real deal.
The thing is, I don't beleive that Obama plans on a majority black administration, but I do believe if he did whites would assume favoritism which bothers me somehow. I mean before Clinton and W one would be hard pressed to find color in the white house staff except for roles that were historically black. However no one in America ever even question if there were qualified blacks, browns, and women out there.
Some people will say well the country is only 10% black on average, but really I think its more when you add in mixed raced folks who can now claim other. And even so I've worked in a place and been the only one and well that isn't reflective of the country's mix.
Anyway what do you think? Do you think its fair? I mean white people are always complaining about how blacks should suck it up and how affirmative action is not needed, but now it seems that they may be the victims of unfairness, now its a problem. Minorities and women have been crying foul for years and been told suck it up. But now when the numbers or appoints could not be in their favor whites cry unfairness.
Like I said I beleive there are enough black and brown folks to run the administration well. What say you ?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Today I'm going to talk about an article in Glamour magazine that was featured on the Today show. The segment was a condensed version of what men want in relationships. They came up with these five things for the segment. Not sure what the article said. The segment listed these as the five things men want.
Men want a woman who will support them when they take risk.
Let him keep secrets
Allow him to keep things from you, like secrets of his friends or details of boys trips.
Let him have his me time (boys night out)
Men still need connection to their pre-relationship life.
Let him know when he needs to just listen or needs to provide feedback.
Men need to know when you need them to fix the problem you are talking about and when you need them to just listen to the problem.
Give him the freedom to be himself.
Don't try to change the things about him that he views as part of who he is.
I'm not a man nor a relationship expert, but all five of these make sense to me. I would say when I was married I didn't do many of these or at least not all at once or for any sustained period of time. Viewing this list it is everything I do with TOM A.
However I am older now and I know me now and I am more secure. As a younger woman I wasn't secure enough in myself to understand those things. Or maybe it was my sheltered southern upbringing that made me think marriage or relationships could only be one way. I don't know. I just found the list interesting and wanted to know what you guys thought. Is this a good list? What do you women think? Is this how you operate in your relationships?
Tell me I really want to know, especially from people like Keith and Raven who are married and seem to have a pleasant experience under their belts!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
So I got some news for you. Remember I mentioned I had some news a few weeks back that I was going to share? Well now I can share it. The OG is taking it back to the dirty! Yes you heard it. I am in my last two weeks of New England living. I will be heading back home for good and starting an awesome new job back home in the H!! Yeah! I am so happy to finally head back home. I know home is where the heart is, but to keep it real HOME is also where my house is, my friends are, my family is, and my TOM A is.
Boston really has been a great experience. I have been exposed to a different kind of life. I have to say living here has shown me that for the most part we are all the same, as far as living, loving and laughing. It has shown me what I love about being a black woman from the south and what I don't like about it. It has shown me the freedom mass transit can bring and it has shown me how plain ol' southern hospitality can open doors and charm people right out of their socks.
Living and working in Boston has shown me so much about myself and about people in general. I have learned so much and think it has made me a better person and will continue to make me a better person. It has helped me appreciate where I come from and be even more excited, if that is possible, about where I am going.
This time here in Da Bean was at the perfect time in my life. I managed to miss being affected by high gas prices because I was able to ride MBTA most of the time and zip car the rest. It has given me a new appreciation for walking and close neighbors. Appreciation for people watching and also for me it has allowed me to live a life I never cold have lived in Texas.
I have been exposed to America's birthplace. Stood on a harbor where tea was dumped and walked a trail that Harriet Tubman led many blacks to freedom. I have stood in the same university halls as DuBois and Obama (man I like how that sounds). I have met black people who come from a free lineage, meaning their people were born free way before mine could dare dream. I am in a state that is governed by a black man. I have experienced whites who get their white privilege and don't pretend its in my head. Now don't get me wrong I have also experienced smarter and more clandestine and less detectable racism and sexism. I also have witness the classicism that exist amongst black communities far more here than back home. I have watched many of the talented tenth pretend they didn't have to address the projects of Roxbury or Mattapan. It's all been a learning experience that I wouldn't trade for the world.
Some of you may know that I started blogging more frequently with my move here as way to keep friends
I will be home just in time for the holidays and I am excited about it. TOM A will be here next week to help me ship the last of my stuff and say good bye to Boston. I will be spending this week taking in some of the things I never had time to do when I was working here. Thanks for taking this journey with me and stay tune for a different kind a journey. It's the first day of the REST of my life! And really for me, THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Well Lisa, I will start with a comment on another blog I made
Well I always believed it WAS possible. I just didn't know when. For me he has showed many who thought like you that we can and will SUCCEED IN SPITE of all those things many in our community use as an excuse. I love it. From 3/5ths a man to 300plus electoral votes!Our president who’s ancestors where both the enslaved and the enslavers. That was the most powerful statement I heard last night on the news.It’s all powerful stuff and a beautiful story!
To me, the Obama narrative is not about him and about him at the same time. It is about the advancement of our strong and resilient race. It is about the marker in the sand. While I have great faith I understand some folks have been beaten and downtrodden enough that need something tangible to go on. These are the folks that my friends and I discussed, the ones who said THEY won’t let a black man have it. I remember my friends and I saying what THEY is this person talking about and then putting him/her into that he is one of those black folks.
There is Obama who is the first black president and then there will be Obama who is either a good, bad, or mediocre president. He will and has become the iconic figure for change and I don’t think that was an accident, Obama is a smart man he built his brand as any savvy marketing exec will tell you. The thing is it is human nature to admire and unhealthy human behavior to worship. At this point I think I will take Obama replacing Jordan as little black boys grow up, after all the psychosis in the black community will take much longer to get over than the few decades we have invested in it. Lets use the break-up analogy many say it takes the average person half the time they were with their mate to get over them when the separate, if that is a true formula then it will take America 250 years to get over how they have oppressed blacks. So are we substituting one idol for another in some black communities sure, but unlike the old idols of sports and entertainment in trying to emulate him, you will actually free your mind to be yourself. After all knowledge is power, so if young black boys start wanting to be public servants and lawyers and doctors that will force the exposure to the world and to the knowledge that wanting to be a basketball, rapper, or football star never could force.
As far as Michelle, I think the white media is excited by Michelle like they were about Jackie Kennedy Onassis. Its nice to have a young mother in the whie house it helps us all identify. What will she want to do, maybe her causes would be the same as mine if I were the first lady. There is a quiet strength about her that makes people want to know her or see what’s going on with her. I never thought she needed a retooling but I was pleased to see that it was not a major image overhaul. After all she has good bones. Personally the term the best to me has very little to do with creed and degrees and family lineage. I have never been into the black bourgeoisie scene it actually sickens me to try to say if someone is the best to offer because of the family they were born into.
In many ways I think Michelle and Barack are the best we have to offer, because they demonstrate how one builds a family of culture and creed. They show us what the great gandparents of the 4th generation degreed children look like. They are the best because they will create the best. Malia's and Sasha's children will be even better and their grandchildren will be poised to be the very same 4th generation degreed person that you eluded to be better than the Obama’s. Barack has shown he was the best in the fact that there has been no political pundit that has not agreed with how well run and organized his campaign was. They all agree whether they agree with his politics or not he has had one of the best run campaigns in the history of politics and the best in the history of modern day politics.
Thinking they are the best doesn’t mean that others are not the best as well. To me it’s like pretty girls there can be more than one and it’s all subjective and depends on what your criteria is. If all the pomp and circumstance some folks with a lot of money have excites you then no the Obamas are not the best, but if the ability to go from not being allowed in the DNC to becoming the President of the United States in 4 years excites you, you would have to say the he is the one of the best hands down and maybe arguable the best politician of any race. No connections no family ties nothing but a drive and will to serve the people.
If you think it is required to be from money then the Obamas aren’t the best if you think it required to have drive and determination the Obamas are one of the best.
Lastly, I did not cry on 11/4. I didn’t feel overwhelmed. I felt proud to be an American, and unlike many blacks I have felt that pride before. I have often been accused of drinking the kool-aide or whatever you want to call it. You see based on my background I should have never believed Barack was possible, but I believed he was possible even before he ran. I remember telling a date that I believed Senator Obama could do it, at the time he was still saying he wouldn’t. I thought it’s because he wants more experience, after seeing what I seen I know a Barack with more experience may have been able to take more states, well if he’d change that middle name.
I have always believed anything is possible but that is because much like the Obamas I have had doors opened up for me, that not many like us, workign class, have open up. I have benefited from free private education at one of the nation's top unversity and the top in my state, I have benefited from my hard work in my professional life and have been rewarded at almost every step of my journey, so to me an Obama presidency was tangible long before it materialized. I had benefited from the America that many blacks don’t see, the meritocracy, where hard work is rewarded. So I knew if he worked hard he would win.
The thing is I did not cry and was not overwhelmed until…until I spoke with my mother, my mother who went to segregated elementary school in the Jim Crow south in a small rural oil town. My mother who was raised by a step father who loved her like his own but still felt unloved because her real father never called, my mother who’s America was not a meritocracy and her hardwork was often unnoticed. My mother who, until my adult life, thought that America didn’t care about us. That America would find a way NOT to reward us. My mother who even though she watcedh my dad do impossible things at a young age chalked it up to having to sell ones soul or not being good person to get those things. To my mother, I was her mini-Barack showing her as I lived my life and climbed the ladder and traveled to new cities and across the world that things were possible when you really worked hard and set your sites on them. So when I talked to her I felt like this election removed her last doubts about blacks being able to survive in spite of those horrible isms that still exists in a post –Obama world. I cried because I know she thought some things we would be able to do, but for what ever reason she still believed we couldn’t break the glass ceiling on other things, like politics. Barack broke that ceiling for her and I cried because I knew his presidency would impact how she lives her life at 54 years of age.
Ok I’m done, this really should be a blog but this is your topic not mine.
Friday, November 7, 2008
I titled this blog that, because this seems to be the most troubling line on FaceBook to many of those who did not vote for President Obama. I wonder if this phrase would be as worrisome if Obama did not share an African heritage with me and only called women like Madelyn Dunham grandmother instead of having the Kenyan grandmother in addition to a white American. I mean after all I recall heari ngthat line in 2000 when W took the white house from eight years of prosperous Democratic rule. To me it speaks to the racial undercurrent we still have here in America.
A simple phrase which is often used in politics especially when one party has had power in the country for an extended amount of time, has now becomes a phrase that is worrisome to many whites who supported McCain. And I’m sorry but the black in me says it has COMPLETELY to do with race. I mean if John Edwards had won no one would question that, but the GOP has spent so much time race baiting and building fear in communities that don’t have much contact with blacks today, that they believe the Now it’s our turn phrase, is some kind of call to arms for the minorities to rise up.
Which is a funny thought I mean if you are a regular white Joe Schmo (I know I’m tired of Joes too) who lives in a fairly integrated city or has been exposed to enough different people you know that most blacks are like you in the fact the love their children and want to make the world a better place for them, they want to live love and laugh just like you. They aren’t somewhere plotting a revolution or revenge. They just want to be looked at as anybody else. Despite the hundreds years of oppression there is not plan to make the white man pay. There is no posse outside Jasper looking for a white man to drag behind a truck or no group of black men waiting in sheets at the darkest of night to light a cross in some house of whites who have just moved into an all black neighborhood. There are no black people looking to make whites feel like minorities, they will tell you that blacks just want to feel like they belong in a country they helped build and not a country that they belong too. They want to be viewed as equal and when Barack Obama stepped on that stage and gave his VICTORY speech for many blacks America changed. For many blacks the America they been trying to convince there more militant friends of finally showed up for its prime time debut. For many blacks the election of a black man to the highest office of the land in spite of racism, proves that America really is the greatest country on earth.
On November 4, 2008 blacks finally believed in the American dream that many whites take for granted. Of course there are many blacks, like myself, who believed in the dream and the greatness of America before Tuesday. However now it is a fact that can not be argued. It is a fact that can not be marginalized to professional sports, entertainment, or business. It is a fact that in American anything is possible. That in America one doesn’t have to wait his turn. That America is a meritocracy.
Now to address those who are SO TROUBLED by the phrase Now it’s our turn. Don’t be. After all if one was to dissect the phrase it makes perfect and logical sense and could have been applied to any candidate who ran the same historical campaign as President-elect Obama. After all .OUR.can be used to refer to the millions of first time voters, now it is their turn to be involved in their country’s government. It refers to the young voters who turned came in record numbers and grew their presence in the electorate by several percentage points. It refers to the immigrants who came to this country for a better future and voted as naturalized citizens for a first generation Kenyan immigrant. It refers to all the Hawaiians who now have their native son in office no longer feeling like merely the mainland’s afterthought and vacation spot. It refers to all minorities who felt not quite American. And of course it refers to black Americans who ancestors where brought here as chattel.
Now its our turn simply means, now it is our turn to show America and the world how great this country and that we are the land of dreams. It is our turn to try our ideas of running the country, after years of watching a country being run by men who didn’t share our values or respect our input we now will show them how to run an inclusive government. We will now show them what we have been talking about.
If Now it’s our turn. bothers you maybe it is because you have a view of blacks as vindictive. Maybe it’s because you think that blacks are somewhere waiting for retaliate and perhaps you have done something or said something that deserves some type of retaliation. However if you are average American who just lives I’d like to think that Now it’s our Turn. simply means Now its our turn to shine, its our turn to show you the kind of government for the people we have dreamed of its now our turn to make America proud. And by OUR I mean every person that cast a ballot for our President, Barack Hussein Obama.
I think right here is where we queue up Lee Greenwood’s proud to be an America.! I wonder what R&B/Hip Hop star is gonna remake that song.
I think Obama sums up masterfully the struggle many whites have with racism when talking about what he said about his grandmother in his Race Speech on a Philly radio station
The point I was making was not that my grandmother harbors any racial animosity - she doesn't. But she is a typical white person, who, if she sees somebody on the street that she doesn't know...there's a reaction that's been bred into our experiences that don't go away and that sometimes come out in the wrong way, and that's just the nature of race in our society
I guess that explains the discomfort with the phrase Now its our turn its just bred into our experiences and sometimes it comes out the wrong way. With that I guess I can not be as offended as I was when I first read the reaction to the phrase it is just the nature of race in our society.
Oh and before you start, his response to typical white person
Well, what I meant really was that some of the fears of street crime and some of the stereotypes that go along with that were responses that I think many people feel. She's not extraordinary in that regard. She is somebody that I love as much as anybody. I mean, she has literally helped to raise me. But those are fears that are embedded in our culture, and embedded in our society, and even within our own families, even within a family like mine that is diverse
That is real talk and that is OUR PRESIDENT!! Loves it!
A few more things
check out this GREAT BLOG by Roger Ebert
Check out this video and VOTE
Thanks for sharing [FUNG'KE] [BLAK] [CHIK]™ !!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
What I do want to say is I wish McCain supporters were as gracious as McCain was in his concession speech. To bad he spent his campaign pandering to much of that element and I beleive that is what contributed to his SMASHING on November 4, 2008. Had McCain been the McCain of 2000 and his speech on election night, he would have definitely given PRESIDENT-elect Obama a run for his money, instead he didn't realize that only a few states still subscribe to rhetoric he was spewing.
I read that his mistake was trying to be a conservative who divided, after all that was not how Reagan won. It was not how W won, lets pretend there was no election stealing, for the sake of my argument.
The thing that I found summed this victory up the most was watching the results coverage and listening to this exit poll result of NC white voters. 24% of those voters listed race as an issue to them. 30% of those voters voted for Obama despite there issues with race. That my friends is the audacity of hope and the hunger for change.
I plan on writing about my feelings about this historical event later. I have some ideas and some comparisons being a red state liberal living in a blue state, actually NEW ENGLAND where this country was birthed and the BLUEST place in the union. New England has no red members in the US Congress or Senate. All 20 representatives are democrats. So you know this is different for me coming from Texas which is one of those conservative STRONGHOLDS.
Anyway hopefully I'll get around to that tomorrow when I am at home in Houston! Yeah going home for my university's homecoming and TOM A.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
It's Been A LONG time coming
but a change gone come. I told Smokie yesterday on her blog, my theme for this election was this Sam Cooke song. I told her I prefered the montage of Obama's road to victory with this song playing in the background FAR MORE than as the soundtrack of a gliding Spike Lee Malcom on his way to his assasination.
So now that we got the deep and reflective stuff out, this is in honor of Prince week over on eclectik-relaxation. And well what better song than this one!
Let's go crazy／Prince & The Revolution
Uploaded by gaimon5656
I am really with out words. Our worlds have changed tonight! Our worlds have CHANGED!!!Governor Patterson put it perfectly tonight when he said If Barack Obama wins we will see the President who's ancestors were the enslavers and enslaved.
Now, I don't think it gets any more American that. He summed it up perfectly for me.
Be EZ, like our president-elect
The thing I have learned, and I am learning, is in order to be in a healthy relationship you must first KNOW what you want and then secondly be able to communicate to those looking to fill the position about what you are looking for. It’s just like when you interview for a job there is a job description that goes with the job at hand. You also have to be willing to know when you are being unreasonable or when you are the one changing up the description on folks.
If being taken care of is what you want then you are never going to be in a healthy (happy) relationship with a man who can not take care of you. Not even for one second.
If laughter is important to you then you are never going to be in a healthy relationship with a man who has no sense of humor.
If being an equal contributor to the partnership is primary to you, you will never be in a healthy relationship with a man who believes you are secondary as his mate.
Hell, if you like to get your Bobby Brown on you are never going to be in a healthy relationship with a man that won’t even take an Advil or walk through a smoky room.
For me when I think about the healthiest relationships I have had in my life (romantic and platonic) and the thing that they had in common were that they were what I wanted. Now sure this whole healthy what you want theory is predicated on the assumption that you are a healthy person. That you know what your flaws are, that you know what a healthy you wants, and you know the difference between help and enabling.
I think KNOWING who you are is the start to building all healthy relationships.
So the thing that I find the most comforting in building this relationship is that TOM A is truly a sounding board for me. He is honest. He doesn’t judge and for the first time I feel it is ok to be imperfect. The fact that he views me as being perfectly human is what I love most about our friendship and will be the foundation of any relationship we build. The fact that we love each other and our relationship looks NOTHING like a traditional relationship is a testament to my growth as a woman and makes me smile. I am the happiest I have been in a while. The absence of drama even though things are not as he would wish makes me even happier.
What he reminded me of when I told him about being bothered about my unwarranted mistrust of him; this is me and you right now. We can’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow. Which is funny, when he said that it was like being hit in the head with my own words. I thought I am always living my life in this moment trying not to let my past lead me or my future break me but just be present in the NOW. Yet somehow I got so caught up in how great we felt that I became preoccupied with how long this would last. I was completely missing my happy now, worrying about the possibility of an unhappy future.
The one thing being married taught me was that just because society says it is so doesn’t make it so. I mean if that was the case I should still be happily married.
What is healthy really has to do with the people involved, like I have an ex-coworker that swings. This is his second marriage and he is EXTREMELY HAPPY and I would say he and his wife have a healthy relationship, for them. I’m not one of those people who projects society’s mores or what I think is right or healthy on others. If you like it I love it. They have been together forever and are married and besides the fact they like to do God knows what with God knows who it seems like a pretty normal marriage.
I said all this to say this. You gotta know what YOU WANT and COMMUNICATE THOSE WANTS otherwise you are not going to be able to enter into a healthy relationship. You just gonna be spinning a roulette wheel with your happiness. Nobody wins big on roulette. Do they?
To me a healthy relationship involves team work. To me for better or for worse means there may be a time where something life altering changes if you can work or talk or walk or anything imaginable. If you aren’t a team from jump then well that incident could be the end of you. If you are a team then you are honest. If you are a team then you know how to take help and receive help. Teammates accept each other and learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses. They capitalize on the fact that you have a quick first step or that your blocks lay fools out, or that you cut to left quicker than anybody this side of the mason Dixon. They sometimes pass the ball and sometimes they catch the ball. However it really doesn’t matter who does the passing, as long as you score. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!
To me a healthy relationship contains two people who are one, just like a team. My victories are OUR victories because we are friends. There’s no I in team. Your mate should be your teammate. I do really think the fact that many
I just wanted to talk about something besides the obvious pink
What say you, is healthy in the eye of the beholder or is it a standard we have to meet?
Happy Election Day!!
People often say that, in a democracy, decisions are made by a majority of the people. Of course, that is not true. Decisions are made by a majority of those who make themselves heard and who vote -- a very different thing. - Walter H. Judd
* I stress content of character please don't use the last part to support some man who's only content of character is OE and the meat loaf you cooked last night. And put some kind of timetable on getting on your feet or whatever. This is a double edge sword so don't go playing this invest in a man game too many times. *lol*
**I had to make the obligatory Barack Obama tie in. It is election day! Here are some quotes about election day, sorry that's all the election day hoorah I'm giving you, I've voted now its time to see what this election do.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
OK just in case you didn't understand...
For those who are musically inclined
I vote because my many of my ancestors were not allowed to even after they were given the right. Jim Crow often blocked the entrance to the polls and voting booth where I'm from. So if you haven't already, VOTE Tuesday. It's time to make that change!!