Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Now you know exactly what having a President who has the mental capacity of a slow chimpanzee can do to, not only our country, but the world. I mean W has managed to drive this economy into the ground. A trillion dollars in one day? OMG…I remember when I was a kid and a Trillion was just a number you used to let someone KNOW just how much you did or didn’t like them, you know before you used one kazillion a billion katrillion and they used INFINITE. Anyway, basically now we are forced to CLEAN UP this mess because the corporations that are falling are the back bone of the economy.
You know I DON’T know what the answer is but the sad fact is WE, the American people, are going to have to pick up the Brawny and wipe up this mess and well folks this is more than one or two sheeter kinda mess. This is a Hello Brawny how much paper towel do you have in your warehouse kind of mess. The thing is neither party is completely right, I don’t think we need to have extreme government intervention but I also think, and am now supported by the fact that we are in a WORLD economic crisis (not so sure ITS a crisis but you know), we DO NEED government regulation, especially in the industries that support not only our economy but under gird the world’s economy.
Do I want the bailout, well of course NOT. I mean who wants to pay for someone else’s mess, however the same reason that I go into my pocket and fork over vast sums of cash to my little brother or struggling aunt is the same reason I am silent about the bailout, I think at this point if we don’t do something, not necesarily 700 billion dollars of something, this crisis WILL end up on my doorstep.
I’m all for market correction, but unfortunately if we let the banks fall and the market correct the way that we live life will change drastically. No I’m not talking about the inability for me to walk into Sears and buy that new steam dryer from Kenmore and cool matching dryer. I’m talking about the inability for stores like Sears to get credit to pay for the people and inventory. The reality is not bailing out these azzholes in the finance industry will result in a GREATER gap between the have and the have nots. Lets face it while lots of Main Street is struggling and most of MLK is falling into deeper despair there are plenty of people who are doing ok, I mean they may be saving more and their disposable income may be less they are not out on the streets. If this was like the dot.com bust in the beginning of the century I’d say let the market correct itself , but unfortunately letting the market correct itself in the case scares me. Although I don’t have anything but two years of college economics to back my stance, I really don’t think market correction with no government intervention is an option.
I guess I may be ok with this bailout, because I’ve been bailing folks out in some form or fashion sense I’ve been employed. I mean I’m not happy about having to that especially when its to someone who I feel has just as much potential as I do, however sometimes it is necessary to help your brother or sister who is in need. Sure it pisses me off these brothers happen to be the same ones in Brooks Brother suits trying to keep the vacation home on Laguna Beach and who greedily used there reputation to make many under educated Americans think they really could afford the American dream.
Look I know there are plenty of you who think that those homeowners are to blame, for taking these ARMs and other sub-prime artifacts. And yes they are when it gets right down too it, but I have to say many folks were raised to believe that if a bank says you can have the money IT MUST MEAN THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO PAY IT BACK, I mean after all who is just gonna give money to people who don’t have the means to pay it back. Right? Well I think we all know just who those people/banks are, many of them are being seized and sold of at auctions. I think that is only right if you exploit a blue collar worker who takes an ARM because you approve him for it without really knowing what due diligence he should be doing, it seems like a small bit of Karma. Its one thing to have a small percentage of your portfolio make this up, the problem is many of these companies where heavily invested in this. Add the slowing economy and shrinking job market…REALLY what did you expect.
I remember when I bought my first house with my ex husband. I did all kinds of research on debt and what to expect and how to figure out how much you can afford. I looked at my project earning potential as well as what my career might look like if I lost my job. I viewed my spending and saving habits and came to the amount of house we could afford. We decided to base our purchase on one income, mine, because as a business owner his income was not steady. However back then in 2000 we still had to prove all kinds of things in regard to his income, I also had to show proof of the gift my in-laws gave which was used as part of our down payment. Its funny we saw a broker before we actually went home shopping, the broker worked our numbers and told us we qualified to own a home that was almost 6 times more than the home we purchased. We laughed at that figure when we got home, however think about the people who were told they could afford 6 times more than they actually could and that number actually was barely an affordable home. They wouldn’t laugh they would think here’s my chance at the dream. Anyway, when I bought my house after my divorce it was such a different experience. I told my builder I didn’t want to pay anything down and the rate I wanted and he shopped it with his mortgage broker and basically I was done. No hoops, no extra, actually it was so easy I was a little alarmed at the process.
I even second thought if I had chewed off too much in the first few months in my house because of typical mortgage shock we all go through and the adjustment to being a one income household.
So now that I have run off at the mouth about this economic crisis and the bailout, what do you think? I know for me it’s hard to give a black and white answer and I am very apprehensive of those who don’t think in the very gray areas on this matter.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
PCD (PussyCat Dolls) you know that song they have out. Look I listen to a lot of random music (not always the best or even really music), this explains my ownership of On the Six! Anywho, I thought this would be a great blog.
So I am sure you have heard the chorus:
When I grow up / I wanna be famous/ I wanna be a star /I wanna be in movies
When I grow up/ I wanna see the world/Drive nice cars/I wanna have Groupies
When I grow up/Be on TV/People know me/Be on magazines
When I grow up/Fresh and clean/Number one chick when I step out on the scene
The chorus got me reflecting back to when I was a kid and what I wanted to be when I grew up.
When I was in elementary school I wanted to be a lawyer when I grew up. Then when I was in Jr. High/High School I refined that dream to a corporate lawyer. Then when I was a junior in college I killed that dream when realized that I was done with school. The idea of another three years of law school...well lets say I didn't want to practice law that bad.
I found a new love working in sports and up until two months after graduation I was tracking pretty well into sports management. I had interned with the Houston Rockets (during the glory years) and been offered an internship in Long Island with the Women's Sports Foundation. Well, I didn't take that internship. I was NOT at all prepared to leave Texas and well I had a bf at the time to make staying even easier. You know sometimes I want to slap the younger me, but everything happens for a reason.
So when I graduated with a BA in English, which I got because many lawyers told me it was a good undergrad degree for law school, my dreams of tortes, coach brief cases, and cute legal hair buns was long gone. The realization of my dream of impacting how women were regarded and treated in sports never materialized because of my fear of change. I managed to land on my feet in IT, after a year and a half of being under employed, working as a coordinator for a home builder.
Still young but definitely changed. I think that experience is what taught me to one embrace change and two do not be scared of success, be ready. When I applied for that internship it was at the urging of one of my professors. I didn't think I was good enough to get the internship, so when I did well lets just say I was NOT prepared or ready for the kind of change that CHANGES your whole life. I sometimes do wonder just how different my life would have been had I gone down that path, but it was not the road for me.
When I really started working in IT I decided I wanted to be a CEO of a small tech firm or a CTO of company when I grew up. I’m still tracking to that goal (MBA willing); however truth be told I’d really like to be Martha Stewart when I grow up. *lol* Actually, to be honest I’m a Toys R Us kid!
So what did/do you want to be when/if YOU grow up?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
We as a race need to come together and really see our value and our importance, instead of infighting. If we could learn to harness the power and respect the hustle we would see that We are indestructible. We would see we should have no fear. How can you be fearful of what could happen to us, when the worst has already happened. What can be worse than being taken from your home, being shipped across an ocean packed like a sardine, split from your family, being bought and sold like horses on a auction block (bit and all), being killed for looking, being hung for looks, being separate but equal, being fired hosed and dog attacked, being victims of assassination of character and body, being cracked, being HIVed, being Katrina'd, being second class citizens, being black in America. What can be worse? See, fear we shouldn't have any fear of loss, because even in loss we have survived it all. The race has survived it all and it is still standing... yeah yeah yeah!
See the reason we are enemy number one because of our power. We don't even see it. We should have no fear but fear itself. We have already been through the fire, what could be worse? We need to fight, after all haven't we proven we can survive the worst. We are a resilient race, if we are nothing at all.
Just a thought.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
For those who aren't familiar with what the current day Jazmine Sullivan sounds like, here is a clip about her and a clip of her singing I'm in Love with Another Man. I'm not going to say anything about her voice because words can not describe. That voice with these lyrics puts me right where the songwriter must have been when this was penned. He ain't always right but he's right for me.
Keith, I see Philly shinning YET AGAIN!!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Well folks, next Thursday my favorite TV drama comes back for its 4th season. I don’t really blog about it much, but watching it makes me feel ok about me as I learn and grow and become a better person. I mean the thing about wanting to grow and be better along the road you are gonna run into some dark parts of yourself, past hurts, and some things that many of us just rather keep deep down inside to fester and eventually manifest into some sickness (mental or physical). Anyway, I like Grey’s Anatomy because once you strip away all the unreality needed for TV show medical dramas, you know the pass around sex, the really really big traumas ( that conveniently happen during sweeps weeks), the long monologues disguised as speeches ( I mean who let’s a person talk that long with not so much as a mm hmm) and the way out medical diagnosis and miracle life savings surgeries, the relationships and characters feel authentic to me. I mean when I look at the friendships, sex-ships, and relationships on that show the characters say things that sound real to me you know believable and true to who their characters are, but I guess that’s why they call it good writing. Not too sunny. Not to gloomy. But real.
I think I really like Grey’s because I indentify so much with the characters and the choices in their live. I so identify with the Meredith Grey character. She is the flawed protagonist, she is smart and successful and on her professional game but when it comes to love she is flawed (what I thought might be tragically flawed judging from the first four seasons, well until the last episode of season four). The thing about Grey’s is Shonda Rhimes, the creator, and head writer gets that not all people are sunny, happy, warm or fuzzy , however love can bring that out of the most cynical of us. You see love when in dark times which I think is very interesting. To me those are the people to watch. I love every character for a different reason and I love the interaction between all of them. Grey’s is the only television series besides SATC that I own all the available DVDs. For the record Heroes, Entourage, Weeds and the complete series set of the Wire are on my list to buy not just watch. *lol*
Anyway the last episode of the season resonated with me so much. At the end we have a Meredith who has fought being loved by the man, Derek. Derek is like the prince charming kinda perfect Dr. and he LOVES him some Meredith and the problem has been that Meredith can’t believe this. I don’t blame her I’d have a hard time believing someone like Derek was real. Of course because it TV she had a great monologue to tell Dr. McDreamy she was ready to go all Tevin Campbell on him (I’m ready to love…) . The thing is while she was talking I identified with the small, mousy blonde, hair, cynical, brilliant, guarded Meredith Grey as she was being all uncharacteristically happy and sunny. I have to say I am in a very unfamiliar happy sunny place whenit comes to love right now. She told Derek two things that really stuck in my head. She said to him I want to trust you…but I don’t know if I can... but I’m going to try.
I think trust is very hard for black women. I think because of the sad situations, abuse, and strained relationship of black men and women, we often find trust to be the hardest thing. And as I hope we ALL know no relationship can survive unless you can trust someone with your heart. Trust, Meredith can’t just trust or even allow herself to try and become one of those sunny happy people in love. You know the ones the rest of us side eye, she is one of those people when she is with Derek. When she told Derek I want to trust you …but I don’t know if I can, but I’m going to try. See that’s the issue, no one wants to try, it seems like we are all afraid of being hurt. We are all afraid of looking silly. What if this doesn’t work? What if I really am incapable of being in a relationship? What if it does NOT…. however , we never ask ourselves the opposite What if it DOES…
What if DOES work out? What if HE is who I’m made for? What if we stay together forever? What if he does love as much as he says he does, if that is possible? What if we are for each other?
I honestly believe that many black women spend so much time trying to protect our heart from heartache and disappointment that we never try. We get stuck wanting to trust but just not being able to trust. No relationship can survive without trust. I know, because I was like Meredith I wanted to trust him. I wanted to believe that the extraordinary circumstances were just that and that he did love me as much as he said he did. I wanted to put my heart out there. I wanted to love him, but man I was scared. Once you have a divorce under your belt you don’t feel so sure about yourself as a good partner. I was like Meredith because I decided to try. I spent time getting whole and healed (unlike Meredith I did it for me and not to because my McDreamy was moving on) when I realized just how much baggage I had. I mean I wasn’t carrying it but I most certainly wasn’t straying too far from it, just in case I needed to grab a bag or two. I spent some time understanding loved him for real loved him enough to want to try, and when I made the call to tell TOM A I cared and I would always be here if he needed me, THINGS STARTED CHANGING for us.
The difference between Mer and Der and me and TOM A is we both were very afraid to try and I think we have both spent our time pulling and resisting as we walk down our road together. However even if it was to end today I wouldn’t regret any of this and if it last forever I will always be SO GLAD I tried. The way I look at love now is it has to be how I take the rest of my life. I mean after all, not tooting my own horn, but professionally, financially and socially I have done ok for myself. TOOT TOOT heeeeeeeeeeeey BEEP BEEP
I took all those things moment by moment one day at a time. I never got ahead of myself. I never said I’m never going to be successful or I’m never going to have a crew like family or I’m never going to have manageable debt (soon to be no debt!! YAY!). I always said what do I do today to get me closer to my goal of X? How can I be a better friend than the last time? What adjustment s can I make so next time this is better? So one day a light bulb went off for me, stop trying to anticipate what a man is going to do in order to protect myself, handle my love life the same way I handle the other things that I am successful doing. What am I going to do to get myself one step closer to being loved like I want to be loved today? Put making friends with men above trying to be IN LOVE. I always have believed you HAVE to be friends before lovers, but you also have to have that special LOVE. That’s the kind of love that gets you past the dark days when you aren’t trying to be friends.
In the beginning a lot of those steps were focused inward on making sure I loved me as much as possible, because you CAN NOT love anyone until you TRULY love yourself, ALL of you, not just the good things but the things people don’t like about you. We all have dark parts we don’t want to expose, but I really think we have to go there in order to get to a place where we are ready to love and be a part of productive and happy relationships that make each other better. Then I began to take steps towards letting relationships just unfold, not read too much into actions but pay attention to signs. I know that sounds crazy but I hope you feel what I’m saying. Anyway , there came a moment where I decided I was going to try. I looked at the odds for me and TOM A and I said well this is worth the risk of it not working out. After all if it doesn’t , it ain’t gonna kill me. I’d been through heartache before and lost a piece of my life when I left my marriage, so I figured it’s worth the risk.
Even now as we take it day by day and I realize how much I love him, as a man, not MY man but just because I think his soul and heart are beautiful, I know there is still a risk. We are still very new to this, we both are guarded about it and don’t know what to do. However, I wouldn’t trade this for nothing. If you said I had a choice of being with him for these few years (with all our ups and downs) or being with someone one who I was just eh about for the rest of my life. I’d choose two minutes of loving him like I do over someone I was just wasn’t really passionate about. I really think the divorce is so high because we DON’T wait, we don’t wait for the love the REAL love the love that stands moods, dumb decisions, bad choices, and stupid mistakes. The love that prevents us from making the dumb decisions, bad choices, and stupid mistakes in the same numbers we did before. The kind of love that makes each of us extraordinary, or as I like to call it, the Bonnie and Clyde effect. You know the love that drives each person to be better because you truly believe its Team [insert your last names here].
I believe we can be extraordinary together, rather than ordinary apart.
-Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy
Well time for me to make it. If you have never watched Grey’s, tune in this Thursday see how you feel about it. If you do watch Grey’s here are Shonda Rhimes blogs about the last episode. I think they are so interesting. I LOVE her, she is such a great writer.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Garcia Vegas, no one ever really thinks about them, you don’t meet people who only buy them exclusively, like Backwoods. Not everyone even knows what they are. Hell not even every store stocks them. However you might run across them and decide Hey, give me a box of those. Garcia Vegas a fine cigar, as far as grocery store cigars go.
I think of myself as a Garcia Vega, you know not the cigar everyone likes or even knows women like me exist. Not the cheap cigar that anyone can buy and everyone has tried that is a woman, but bears resemblance to a little girl more than any women I've ever seen. No I’m a Garcia Vega a semi-exclusive, good leafed, easy to roll ( you know easy like a Sunday morning easy) nice tasting cigar. You know a Garcia Vega, a cigar that isn’t on your mind, but when you see it you say Hey, let me get some of those they did me real fine last time I smoked them. A Garcia Vega not to proud of itself, but definitely a good FINE cigar, as far as grocery store cigars go.
That’s me, not the woman that every man chases, but not the woman that every man has had and everyone knows it. Not the woman that only resembles a woman in name only, but a woman who is being a REAL GROWN AZZ woman. Not the woman that you may dream about at night, but when you see me you go Hey, let me holla at that you know last lil’ momma I hollered at that looked like that was a great woman I never should have let get away! You know me cause I’m that chick you like! OG a fine woman, as far as regular women go.
I told y’all I was gonna compare myself to blunts like Mariah. *lol*
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
My family is still without power but things seem to be back on there way to normal down home!! I love saying down home. Anyway. I'm out I'm sleepy for some reason.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
There is no place like home, even when home has just been battered by a 700 mile wide hurricane named Ike. I have spent most of the weekend talking to friends and family in the area and watching the online streaming coverage of one of the local affiliates and relaying the information to my mother and friends via text and phone. The damage is devastating in the south going towards Galveston. It’s been really weird looking at the damage to the area to I grew up in, I grew up in a city closer to the water than Houston.
No one in my circle experienced any major damage mostly tree debris. My mom said the storm was whipping around and she could hear the trees and debris hitting my house. Its really hard being this far away from home. I feel a bit helpless.
I have been homesick for a while now and being away from my home and my family and friends makes me feel utterly useless. As crazy as it sounds I really wish I was there. I’m sure I won’t wish that so much in the days to come without power. I’m looking for a place to put my mother now in the event there is no power longer than a week. A cool front is moving in, so won't be the sweltering heat of Houston. The cold front caused thunderstorms early this morning which caused the bayous to flood a few low spots and freeways in Houston, but the waters started to recede once the rains stop.
I’m getting ready to register my mother and I for FEMA assistance for the minor damage and cleanup what we have. It's easier for me to do from here online than for her to sit on the phone in the dark and wait. One of my aunts lost the roof at her apartment, but everyone is ok and found shelter elsewhwere.
FEMA’s response is a bit slow, but they are on their way, I know if the administration botches this it should be quite telling to the electorate or at least I hope it is. There seems to have been some confusion about distrobustion of water, ice and MREs and who would distribute the supplies the FEMA or the stae or the county. They seem to be working it out though. Loss of life seems to be minimal which is great considering the amount of collateral damage I have seen.
The estimate for restoration of power to the city of Houston is at 4 weeks right now, I think my neighborhood will get power before then. Other than loss of power and debris clean up and possibly a few minor roof repairs on my mother’s house we should be good. Galveston and its surrounding communities are not fairing as well. The island is currently closed with no water, no power, and no real idea of when those things will be restored. The island has been closed and is under a dusk til dawn curfew, as is Houston.
The last hurricane that hit our area was Alicia in 1983, I was 10. Needless to say a hurricane at 10 and 35 are two different things. I remember driving around and the tree debris, but it was not this dire. I could not even tell you how long we had no power but I don't think it was longer than a few days. I remember all the prep filling the bathtubs and eating canned foods, it was rough during Alicia but it wasn't like this. It's the same thing my mom says. I think that Ike, to me, is on the same level as the storm of 1900 many of the local news has said if it weren't for the Seawall the city would have been demolished, it seems most of the damage in the city is flood from the surge. Only the things that were on the seawall or in the water were destroyed. The surge picked up the Balinese Ballroom and threw it across the street as a pile of sticks. The ballroom had survived many major hurricanes including Carla who was a cat 5 I think in the 60's. The link shows you what it look like before and this link shows you what happened after Ike. There are landmarks like that gone all over Galveston. Houston lost a landmark to fire, Brennan's Houston a restaurant that has been in the H for 40 years.
Please keep all of the Southeast Texas in your prayers.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
That Rih Rih sure is pretty! I’m glad she chose an equally as lame singer, Madonna, to sing tonight! Smart move, I mean really even I can sing the hell out of some Vogue!! I mean really! But she is such a pretty little thing all doe eyed…oh wait its over.
So is Etta James responsible for all these platinum light skinned SANGING honeys out here, why yes Beyonce is from the tree of Etta. Oh wait her lf isn’t glued down properly. Still look a lot like Etta. Wait Beyonce just confirmed she indeed is from the tree of Etta. And man Etta still rocking firece hair, now someone tell Keisha that’s how you do red hair!
I love Chris Brown. I just want me one. Like I’m serious I already asked Crys if she would let her little bit sing and dance so I could know the entertainment that it must be to be in Chris Brown’s inner circle. I mean really I have only seen a small bit of his growth and I am impressed. Sometimes its hard to remember his age.
That Duffy chick I need to get her. I just heard her song Mercy the other day on some commercial and was like who is that Amy Whinehousesque sound I hear? I meant to try to find out who was singing that song but I didn’t have anything to go on. But now I got it all. Duffy Imma get her! Why do them Brits KNOW they love them some soul music.
Justin Timberlake has his own clothing line…damn everybody….everybody
Wow Justin Timberlake looks like a white version of Marvin, not really but the glasses and beard…you can’t say that my boy don’t know/study his artists only a true music fan would get that throwback reference with the cool Marvin shades and matching beard ala Sexual Healing Marvin. To me that was the BEST Marvin there was, followed closely by hippie What’s going on Marvin. Man Robin Thicke is onJT's heels, he is going to sing this whole thing in falsetto. Ok JT I see ya!!
Kid Rock singing the Temptations hmmm strangely I totally get that! On every level.
I think Bey is wearing her real hair tonight. It's cute but a lot flatter than bulk she wears when she is wearing wigs and weaves. Plus the edges…sorry…I like hair….and I LOVE good hair!
OMG Solange is doing it. I really think she is the owner of the inflated Divatude that her sister should have. *lol* Yeah that’s it she got the Divatude and Bey got the Divadom that’s how it happened. She did good and her big sis was CHEESING the same way I would if I was watching my brother doing his do-do-do (singng) on the Fashion Rocks stage KILLING IT!
Man Timberland produce the white music, he offically has the whole INDUSTRY on lock!! What’s crazy is I been jammin’ all them songs cause they hot. Especially that One Republic very dreary Cold Play awkward cute white boy singing. I totally get that vibe.
Ok Mariah looks like a grown azz woman who is sexy not a grown azz woman who trying to remind us she is just as young and viral as chicks who are 10-15 years younger
Beyonce Ok I never listened to the lyrics of this song... OH OK... so she is comparing herself to blunts of FIYAH and ice cream!!
I'm like that ooo weee,/ you're fiendin to blaze up,/ And taste me,/ Got flavor like ice cream/ 'Cause I'm that chick you like.
Maybe I should try that one day, comparing myself to blunts of fiyah and ice cream not blunts of fiyah and ice cream…been there done that!
So if Lauryn Hill hadn’t just up and split the Fugees would have all the same world accolades of the Black Eyed Peas, now don’t get me wrong Will I Am is a BEAST! But Wyclef ain’t no punk plus Lauryn is an EXCEPTIONAL RAPPER AND SINGER Fergie is just a good singer. But really it’s the same formula. Oh Fugees ...Oh Fugees... where art thou?
So man, Beyonce is gonna wear that wig in the finale looking like somebodies momma? I feel like they have every non selling R&B artist up there. For real Ashanti you want to be on the Stand Up Charity song? I wondered if they just pulled people up out of the audience? Wow I think if I was there with enough hair and make-up and a t-shirt they would have let me sing! I KNOW I could sing Rihanna’s part.
Wow that was fun!! Yes these are the kinda of thoughts that go through my head. My friends can attest that they sometimes get the most randomest text message. Yes I really did ask Crys if her child would be the next Chris Brown for my entertainment.
I very randomly jotted down my thoughts. I thought you would like. Fashion Rocks was like the perfect show thingee to watch because he had performances and fashion. I love clothes and music and men and shoes and all kinds of stuff. No wack awards or too many presenters but lots of good music performances and pretty clothes! Me likes mindless TV like this, mindless but not insulting me by thinking I’m really that mindless.
I will be working from home the next week or so, not sure how often my post will be as I will have to me MORE DISCIPLINED to finish my work, take care of house business, and love on TOM A ( yeah I said it! *lol*) Anyway I will try to checkin' with you, as always I'm sure I'll be reading just maybe not writing as much.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I guess the one thing that is sticking in my head is this Promise/ Purity Ring thingee that apparently hopped of at the MTV awards; first off I can’t tell you when I last watched MTV or any of it awards shows. Even if I had cable I doubt this show would have made my list…well maybe I do find those shows to provide some white noise and blog fodder occasionally but really anything worth noting I will be sure to pickup in my daily reading. Anyway here is the story the host, who I have never heard of ( look I’m a black thirty-something this is NOT my demo…my demo was back when Chris Rock was hot and usta host …that was like 10 years ago) made a joke about having a promise ring of one ot the Jonas brothers ( I do know who they are. Why? I have no clue as to why.).
I thought it was cute, but apparently Jordin Sparks didn’t think the joke so cute. For those who don’t know the purity rings are about pledging abstinence until marriage ( I think) and wear rings to symbolize and remind them of this promise or maybe its more like a warning label or perhaps even a gauntlet to some of those who find things like making kids break their promise of abstinence a favorite past time. The thing that really stood out for me in the 5 minute story on Today was Jordin’s retort. She said something like hey there’s nothing wrong with promise rings not all of us want to be sluts. YEP
That right there…Yep that was the phrase and see that is my problem. See there is nothing wrong with YOUR decision to not give it up AND there is nothing wrong with you wanting to flaunt it in a nation of sexually active and overactive people. However there are two things that trouble me about Jordin’s statement. Her statement totally takes away the whole point of the purity pledge movement which is to make the promise and keep the promise of abstinence until marriage or your first pregnancy if you’re Bristol Palin. Wearing a purity ring doesn't make you better.
It’s not some badge of honor or should I say ring of glory that allows you to feel better about yourself because you have exhibited some kind of control over your loins. Look sex is a personal issue and enforcing this whole Madonna/Whore dichotomy into an already crazy life of puberty is wrong, but hey Jordin is a kid and apparently where she comes from having sex makes you a slut.
Unfortunately it’s not that simple. It’s not that easy. You see we live in a world of grays and the sooner we teach our kids that life is about choices and choices have consequences the better off we would be. I have just never gotten, the don’t do it because I said so school of thought. The thing is this the experts that discussed this topic noted that the purity ring wearers start out strong (like me on my work out game) but cave in (like me on my work out game) and because they don’t discuss any other option but NOT doing the nasty they are usually the ones who end up with STDs and unwanted pregnancy because they don't know what precautions to take. I mean handing a kid a condom doesn't make a kid have sex any more than not handing them a condom stops them from having sex. If it was only SO SIMPLE!
It just seems like this is irresponsible way to raise our kids. Not the virginity part, the pretending sex will never come up or need to be dealt with. Look sex is a fact of life and in this country our sexual repression has driven us to the heights of sexual dysfunction I just think when will we realize that we haven’t fixed anything. The blame is falling on our media and entertainment. I mean after all we are quite the racy country, however I think everything is about sex because sex is so taboo. I mean we are ranked number one among industrialized countries in teenage pregnancy. I mean really? I guess everyone is not keeping their promises.
Anyway I digress, the statement about not wanting to be sluts just reminded me of some girls I knew back in college who were all about they were guaranteed fresh! They were in there late teens almost twenty and these two went on and on about their special purpose (if you watch the Jerk you’ll get that). They were always talking about it and always insinuating that they somehow were better because they hadn’t done the horizontal mambo. I mean come on one more thing to make teenage girls put other teenage girls down about. They were comical to me, because while I didn't hold my virginity as some SPECIAL winged gift, I also wasn't giving a way a free piece with purchase.
I thought it interesting that they were so stupid. I mean I was a virgin until I was 18 and I never went on and on about it. I guess I never thought it was anything special other than like everything else in my life the situation hadn’t presented itself and OH YEAH my Grandmother had me shook. In my life I was all about making my family proud and I figured out that bringing home a baby as a young girl was not the way. Anyway I never discussed my sexual encounters with just any ol’ body and I most certainly didn’t discuss my lack of sexual behavior with the whole free world or at least the free world that could peep my fingers. I guess I should have bragged when I had the chance.
Sex is a personal choice, whether you're young or old. I think what we need to get away from is thinking bad about a person if they choose to or choose not to engage in sex. I have to tell you I have met a few thirty year old virgins and I find that to be a commendable choice if that is what works for you (and no neither of those chicks managed to graduate FRESH!!). I have met women who have decided to become celibate until marriage and I have met women who barely made it to be 12 year old virgins and thought celibacy was some new Yoga at Equinox. The thing that was common was that they seemed to be making the decision fro them that best fit who they were as a person and what their lifestyle was.
I like sex, so you won’t find me telling anybody to abstain as a matter a fact I have met a few women that I think are really in need of an orgasm. It would make them MUCH more pleasant. What you will find me saying is make the decision for you and I guess I’m old school, but keep the decision private. It seems that every kid has a promise ring on like a live strong bracelet but we are having more teenage mothers…hmmmm that don’t add up.
So here is my thoughts make the promise and keep it to yourself. If you decide that you are ready to break the promise please do it safely and responsibly and keep it to yourself. All this wear a ring to remind you blah blah blah…. For real, we think that works? Oh well maybe it does…I ain’t nobody's momma so I guess I really should just be quiet on the whole issue.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Yep, I miss him like there are no cell phones with video chat and cameras.
Yep, I miss him like Al Gore never accidentally tripped on the information highway. I miss him like W never pluralized the internet and Paris Hilton was a just a hotel in France!
I miss him like cool cups once school gets underway. I MISS HIM!! I miss him like long distance ain’t free. I miss him like high school, when you had to write and wait and wait and write and then SEE. You know when you had to anticipate a summer visit or the back to school reunion.
Did I mention I love him like a fat kid loves cake!?!
I miss him like I don’t have two nickels to rub together and the only thing I own is my name. I miss him like I use to miss folks before we made it so hard to miss someone, you know before when we usta let the absence grow our hearts fonder.
I miss it all…his touch…his smell…his taste…HIM. The safety he brings the danger he invites. I miss him.
For real the last time I MISSED someone was when I was dating my ex-husband, but even then it wasn’t like this. This was like when I missed my ex-bf in college. Well no tears this time. I remember I missed him SO much over winter breaks, but not as much as he missed me.
We were on a break. *lol* If I told you the wonderfully colorful story that lead to our relationship, you would both laugh and chide me at the same time. Anyway he missed me so much he told me that we could not longer not be together. Never knew what he had until …he missed me. I wasn’t gone but absent.
Today I am strangely reminded of that need I had back then and the one I have now. The one to be near…to touch… and to hold. Ma Bell ain’t figured out them senses yet.
I miss him I want to see, hear, feel, taste, and touch him. I want to feel the sun beat my face as he grabs my waist from behind. I want to love in the present tense while in his presence.
I know I will…it’s just not time yet…so fonder my heart grows, because he surely is absent from me right now.
Let the countdown begin!
5 more weeks to go….
*I was 16 in '89 just for the record!!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Now, I am in Boston with no cable and thus The Daily Show TDS and The Colbert Report TCR are no longer there to keep me up on politics or crying with laughter to keep from crying in despair at this administration and our crazy partisan political country. However there is this powerful thing called the internet, internets if you’re
It allows me to watch TDS on demand, which is kinda how I use to do it back home. I usta to like to store up 2 or 3 episodes on the old Tivo for maximum enjoyment. Anyway, I thought it was time I share with you guys the man who so many love. I have to admit I have loved you long time Jon Stewart. Don’t thank me for today’s clip, thank Crys, when she decided to share this with her list serv ( yes this chick has a list serv, no foolishness she’s about the business, well at least the list I subscribe too*lol*) . When she sent me this clip it occurred to me just how underrated Jon Stewart and team are, I remember when they couldn’t even get on the floor of the National Convention, now many recognize them as some of the most FAIR and BALANCED and definitely the funniest political reporting out there. So since I don’t feel like talking I’m going to let TDS v-blog my feelings about the Palin speech and the RNC. Enjoy! Thanks for the well wishes, I am starting to feel much better.
I would also like to state that my friends and I are both in agreement that Tina Fey should return to SNL just to do a Palin impersonation. Can't you see it now. Ok I'm out.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
So with all that being said, let’s just say that despite the plethora of blog fodder out there I just plan on easing myself back into my routine. I really don’t have much to say right now. Crazy huh? There is so much to weigh in on yet I don’t have anything that I think is new or different to add to the conversation.
I am just lurking. I am a lurker just reading and consuming and not adding anything to the conversation, it feels different but it also feels cool right now. Helping me in my practice of active listening, since I am just lurking I read blogs completely differently. Don’t worry, I’ll be back, but also know I am reading even if I’m not writing.