Thursday, July 31, 2008

When Mothers Visit

Me and Mom on the Duck Boat Tour!

So it has been a whole week since my mom left Boston. I think she had a good time. Let me tell you as bad as this sounds when she left on Thursday it was TIME for her to leave. Not that I don’t love my mom and adore her, but 700sq ft (or how ever small my place is up here) and two grown women will eventually end up on someone one, ME, needing her space.

My mom stayed here for almost a week, I worked most of the days so she could really get some vacation out of her vacation, which means she spent her days lounging around my place eating and drinking what she wanted (which included margaritas). The weekend we walked around the city, but it rained most of the time she was here, I am convinced she brought the Texas thunderstorms with her and not the global warming my co-workers blamed them on.

Despite the rain on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday of her Saturday through Thursday visit we manage to do a few things. She cooked for me in my small kitchen, I made margaritas in a bucket for her, this bucket provided her with a daily vacation margarita. We went to a few of the sites like Newbury Street, Prudential Center, and Roxbury.

Saturday I picked her up from the airport and we went food shopping, as they say here. She cooked a few nights while she was here and I was so happy that this week I had so many great left overs for dinner. Then after that we walked around my neighborhood and I showed her where I lived and all that jazz. We ordered pizza, Momma OG loves pizza (Crys she is secretly waiting for a pizza invite from you and KB *lol*). It was nice to get her some good ol’ NY style pizza. She enjoyed it. We also went to the liquor store for the tequila for the bucket of Margaritas, which I finished up last night! YUMMMY!

Sunday we walked over to Newbury St and I took her to this great little restaurant that my BFF and I stumbled upon when she visited. Stephanie’s on Newbury. I have yet to order something from there that I didn’t like. She liked it too!

Wednesday, we rode the Duck boat and saw all the cool sites in the city, coincidentally many of these are in my own back yard. I mean I knew I was in the mix but I had no idea how close I was to so much of Boston. We learned all kinds of facts and saw all kinds of historical landmarks, even the building in which Declaration of Independence was drafted. The first draft, I wonder how many drafts there were. I got to drive the Duck Boat on the Charles River or should I say steer the boat on the river. That was fun, well besides the tour guide getting all up in my where are you from business! Just so you know originally we were suppose to do this Sunday but it rained and that pushed all our Sunday plans back. It threaten to rain on us again on Wed after a beautiful Tuesday at the cape, but the gods saw fit to let us see the city. The rain cleared out just in time for our tour and we didn’t even have to open our umbrellas once.

My mom really enjoyed the tour a lot and we even got the goofy souvenir picture. Whatever momma wants…Tuesday, we had fun driving to Hyannis. It’s a pretty cool city we didn’t do anything to touristy like the Kennedy compound or anything like that, but we did have fun just driving the town and taking in the scenery. We even went to the local mall, which reminded me of Baytown’s mall- WHACK. But hey we were touring so why not see what the locals were doing.

I must admit by Thursday I think she was ready to go home and I was ready for her to go home. It was a great visit and it ended before we were sick of each other! I’m glad my mom got to come up and experience a real vacation on her vacation, not just her typical staycation. She said I haven’t been anywhere on my vacation in a long time and then she thanked me for the visit. That was the best part of the whole thing being able to provide my mom with something more.

As you guys know I view myself as the shoulders that help hold my family up. Sometimes the pressure is hard when I think of what it will take to make sure my mother can retire comfortably and live a good life, but when she is happy it makes it worth it. The worry melts away and I feel like I am fulfilling my duty as the eldest child and her only daughter.

Be EZ,
OG

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Love and Labels: I think I might be Halle Berry

No fools not in the physical sense! *lol* I don't ever expect to hear you look a lot like Halle unless it is from Stevie Wonder and we won't even go down that road as to why I would be meeting Stevie but you know the position, so go ahead and assume it for me AB4AD!

I say that I am like Halle because I think that I don't know if I won't get married. You know I can see myself in a relationship living and loving and never being married to that person. Me and the crew were discussing, yes e-mail chat again, marriage after Crys sent an article to us.

We started talking about marriage, my thought was that I did have this fear of being a Spinster, because a few of the women in my family have gotten divorce and now are completely single, no boyfriend, no maintenance man, hell not even a vibrator. I fear that because I am so happy by myself, but I am not really by myself so maybe that's the difference.

Any way Halle talks about how she doesn't plan on marrying saying she doesn't believe in marriage anymore. That's how I feel, but doing the CC (crew chat) I had a thought that maybe what if my "want" to not be married had less to do with my not believing in labels and more to do with me being afraid.

Yep, here comes the moment of 360 degree clarity. Maybe I am afraid to be married because I know how much it takes. I know the sweat and toll it takes to hold a healthy relationship together. I know the shyt you have to do, the attitude you sometimes have to take, and the pure exposure you get to someones private person. It's hard. So I have always said I don't want a relationship because I don't want the responsibility takes. I want don't want to be obligated to do kind things, I just always want to do kind things. And if it gets to the point I don't want to do those things, I can easily remove myself from the situation. Not be forced to do it because of some label. But at that moment, at that glorious 360 degree Matrix moment for me I realized maybe just maybe I don't want to get married again because...

Because I am afraid. I am afraid that I will marry someone and just like the first time I will not find a man who is willing to love me hard enough to know they he is never gonna wanna stop trying. That he is always going to want to do kind things cause he wants to, even when I am being a bytch or having a PMS meltdown or just in general not being the me that he fell in love with.

I know close your mouth. Its quite a revelation. Maybe just maybe "I don't believe in being married again" because I think, just like the first time, I believe I am too difficult to love through the bad times. Deep down inside my very complex self.

Mandy has said about my ex that he only new how to love a one dimensional me. That he only knew how to deal with the nice OG. That he didn't know how to deal with the other me's, because as she said I'm real complex bytch! I know, oh yes I am... oh yes I am...

I have already mentioned my flaws. I know what they are. I can be bossy, aloof, overbearing, and generally just annoying. Most of the times I catch myself before it too much but sometimes the ones we loved the most get it the worst.

Well, I'm not totally sure that is why I don't like lables, but I have to think a healthy view of your views meaning knowing all the reasons you may have them is a good one. I think I am very ready to go down this road, NOW.

But this could change tomorrow, because I'm also flaky when it comes to boy girl things!

Be EZ,
OG

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Labels and Love

So first off, I must apologize for the Blogger issues. I had written this and saved it I thought but it looks like for whatever reason the second part of my blog about relationships was wiped out! I swear there are gnomes in my laptop or maybe I should stop blogging so late at night who knows. Anyway here is part deaux of Love and Labels, appropriately called Labels and Love, yeah I do slight of hand tricks like that to keep it new and exciting.

The second part of this is really more about when you find yourself looking for the label or not looking for the label it could be a sign that you and your partner are out of synch. I mean I can’t tell you how many men I have met and either I thought our timing was off or they thought our timing was off. I had met them earlier or later in their life because they were either too immature or I was too mature or I didn't have the immaturity or maturity needed to work at a relationship with them. Sometimes they were unavailable, and well...I don't do drama.

I have found one of the keys to healthy relationships is undoubtedly being on the same page. Learning to enjoy each other and making mutual decisions about where you are in your relationship, but a label IS NOT required, at least not in my eyes. I mean there is nothing wrong with kicking it, one person asking the other say well I’m not there yet and the other shrugging his/her shoulders and continuing to kick it and enjoy what is happening with out pressing for the next thing to happen.

The issues come when you fight either the label or you push the label. When left alone relationships happen. One day you look up and someone says "what are we doing?" The other goes I guess we are together and you agree or disagree. Or the answer is we are enjoying each others company and the other person agrees or disagrees. I don’t think there is anything wrong in taking a health check of a relationship and moving it forward.

However what some people do-women do, since I am woman I’ll speak from my POV, we stay in the relationship even though the answer is different than what we want. I have found the best thing to do in a situation where you feel its time for more and he feels its cool like it is, is to leave the situation. I mean if you are not comfortable continuing on at the lowest common denominator of your relationship, you need to go ahead and leave the relationship. If you leave then it would mean that you can start getting ready for the inevitable which is you probably won’t make it to the next phase in the realtionship. Instead of telling yourself all these complex reasons as to why he isn’t ready to put the gf sash on your shoulder you should take yourself out of the running.

Doing that helps you two fold, the first is it helps you distance yourself before you become to intertwine to see your situation objectively, sometimes this back fires and you realize you don’t want him or you can’t live without him. Depending on who you either one can knock you for a loop. The second plus to removing yourself from the situation instead of fighting about it, it makes the other person realize if you are truly instrumental to your future. I always think of a friend I had that I said, well if we are going to friends I will put the onis on you. I stopped all the extra and well I have never heard from him again. It was cool becaue when I said I will let you drive this relationship if you want it, I knew he was not that into me. I had cried tears way before the declaration. In hindsight I am glad I did that. I think I would have missed so many other valuable realtionships with men because I was always secretly holdin gout for him to come in and say stop this.

There was a time when I stopped talking to Tom A and he wasn’t talking to me, however in hindsight I saw him removing himself from our situation was a way to show me how much I did need him. At the very same time I was removing myself from the situation becaues I felt like he wasn't respecting our friendship. It was a traditional broke back mountain moment where I metaphorically said I wish I could quit you. I was fine with out him but then I realized I wasn’t so fine and eventually after a few months of not doing us, I had to break down and leave a message. The words I left in that message were a turning point for us. One of us had to give and be the bigger person and put pride aside and admit that we cared for the other. I offered an olive branch of friendship and he quickly accepted with way more than olive branch. It was evident we both missed our friendship.

The next time we talked I got a lot I didn’t ever think I would hear from him. However we continued to move on as friends, and I realized that I was happy with him and there were a few things I could do to show him that. I am WILD and crazily spoiled. I must admit I have the slickest mouth in the world sometimes. I have the tendency to talk to men like, well a man. I say crazy stuff and men normally because they are men deal with it or don’t the difference is unlike most men, I cared if TOM A, were to leave. I really wish I could quit him.

I have learned to ask myself if I am being unreasonable with him. I remember once early inour relationship I said something to him he didn't like. And he was like you don't even get it do you know you are the only one of my friends I talk to every day. My reply was what does that have to do with me? I don't care about others...I care about how you treat me. I was insulted he wanted me to feel special because he made efforts to talk to me. Sure I didn't have to be flattered but I could have just appreciated the fact he did like me like that. Oh well I learned the hard way. I have a hard head, funny his head is harder than mine. I wish it was just a little soft so his life would be a little easier.

This loving somebody shyt, label or not, is one of the most humbling and vulnerable places to be in the world. This loving somebody shyt is one of the most grounding and substantial things in the world. That is why I feel some people want kids so bad because the beauty and feelings that come from giving and receiving real love- well, nothing can compare to it. The thing is loving yourself is cool and fulfilling but if you can manage to love someone else while loving yourself it is UNREAL. Nothing in this world compares to having a relationship of any kind of capacity where you both love yourself and the other person. Self love makes the relationship stronger and better whether it’s parental, platonic, or romantic relationship. Self-love is the key to healthy love.

The point of this blog is to say don’t get so caught up in your head trying to define and manipulate your situation. Just sit back and live life easy as it comes. Don’t become to preoccupied with your future or too invested in your past, life is a fine line of learning from mistakes and having fun making them, or so that’s what I think now.

I don’t regret failing at anything I have ever failed at, as a matter of fact I think my failures have been my greatest lessons in life about love, loss, and happiness. So if anything I am always willing to take a chance and step out of my box. This whole TOM A is so completely outside my box, but I figure if I can get up and move cross country in three weeks, why can’t I take a chance on loving a man until something gives. What’s the worst that could happen?

I mean I guess he could not love me back and then what, well he didn’t love me before and life went on so really I don’t have anything to lose if you weigh it against what could happen if he decided to love me. I really have nothing but gain as long as I am smart and use my head when making decisions. Well I guess that has to be the hitch, apparently using your head when love is involved is something that is not very easy for most folks, here’s to hoping I can break the trends and gain forward motion in love instead of lose my mind!

Be EZ,
OG

Monday, July 28, 2008

Love and Labels

So let's talk about labels today, well not designer labels, stereotypes, or those you find on a soup can. Let's talk about relationship labels. So the crew was having one of our typical e-mail chats. Yes we chat via e-mail during the day, I'm over 4,000 miles away.

Well, doing our daily chat we had a brief discussion about labels and how some men need them. I have to say it's very annoying. I have come to find I am not a girl who likes them. I am not a girl who needs them. I am not a girl who's dependent on them to move her life forward. The thing is I have never liked them, I think this is the first time I realized how much I don't need them. I was thinking back to the last time I was single. And how much I hated when people would ask me if my ex was my boyfriend. I would be like no he's just a friend boy. Wow I haven't used that term in a long time. Back then, in my gloriously stupid twenties, I had friend boys. It was my term of someone who was a friend with benefits who really had managed to be a friend. I guess if you had to order them you would meet a guy, kick in, move to fwb, friend boy and then boyfriend.

I mean after boyfriend there are only two more spots to the top. I guess that is why I don't like labels because in my life a boyfriend has always been a scary thing, it carries a lot more responsibilities and expectations than I have ever wanted. Even back then, I was afraid of being able to be a girlfriend. I guess that's why I don't worry about labels, because I don't like them. They feel confining. A label from a man is nothing more than a straight jacket to me.

So in our chat we were talking about why do relationships need a label. Why do we need boyfriends/girlfriends, fiancee, husband/wife? Actually I know why we need husband/wife, but I still don't know why we need boyfriend/girlfriend why can't we simply just enjoy one another until whatever comes no matter if whatever is the decision to become bf/gf or a decisions to part ways. It just seems to me when you spend any amount of time trying to define your relationship, you spend less time defining your relationship. Does that make sense.

I mean you spend so much time worried about all the things that the label list, instead of actually enjoying time with that person and learning all the things that will make the label meaningful. I think any time youspend worring about what you call a relationship is wasted time.

I like to think that if you are truly a couple You would know when it was time to make the move to the next phase of the relationship. If you find yourself arguing about what you are with your friend, then you should examine where you are. Whyis the label is so important and is arguing about having it more important than doing the things it takes to get it?

Spend more time being a friend, so a man feels like she really is my gal and my friend or so your woman says he is my home Boy and my friend. Then when the time is right you will both look around and see you are there. I by no means am saying don't ask for the label if you feel you are there, but if you arguing about getting the label. Then the problem is one of two things, your moving too fast or your moving too slow.

(To Be Continued )...blogger issues

Friday, July 25, 2008

We interupt this trife...




I saw this picture in the Boston Metro along with this article on the way to work. Wow! Powerful stuff. Proof that we are Kings and Queens if I ever seen it. Well not really but you know work with my literary imagery to the true assertion that success does run in our race.

I saw George Fraser speak at a conference I was speaking at once about the lack of blacks in PWC's (predominantly white colleges) and he is the truth! Yes he is black and YES for those that care he is married to a black woman.


Remind me to share my theories of why the lightest of our brothers and sisters are often some of the most militant!
Ok

I know return you back to my regularly schedule trife of the week!


Be EZ,
OG

Stuntin is a habit! Get Like Me



I love David Banner! A self –proclaimed nicca by default! I know what that means, if you don’t I’ll explain. It’s completely different than being one by choice. It also doesn’t mean he isn’t educated or a thinker it means despite his environment he has succeeded. Also he is from the Sip and considers himself to be as country as they come. He has managed to make a decent music career and movie career and is even has a cartoon coming out. Famous, but some how that dirty is still in his blood. You can take the boy out of the country but...

I know it’s in mine, no matter how high I might fly I will not forget my country girl 5th ward beginnings! No matter how much I know stuntin shouldn’t be a habit and gripping wood grain and tippin on four fours is not in sync with me and my enlightened theories on race and sexuality, it’s a part of me! Just like Banner who is a college graduate, and a thesis away from a post graduate degree last time I checked and very active on the political front. I have Chad in my heart and DJ Screw in my cup, metaphorically speaking of course, too DB.

So the real reason I wrote this in hopes he just may Google himself, however it didn’t work with Mos Def or Common, but I am NOT a quitter! *lol* Let me stop before someone believes I am crazy, but just in case. Banner – Call Me…I have some ideas for the cartoon. Actually to be honest there is a 1 degree separation between me and him, I know someone who went to Southern with him and I have another friend who is [claims]writing for his Cartoon Network cartoon.

I think I like DB because he embraces his southern roots yet progresses forward as an Artist, like Outkast you can see the growth with out losing who they are. I don’t ever want to completely lose my country girl roots or my love for 5th ward things (aka hood rat things), that’s who I am no matter what I become or do in life. I love my hood and I love my people and I love where I come from and I think that is what makes me unique as a person. I am such an odd and unique mix, but hey isn’t that being black in America. Black folks soul are always this churning mix of things that don't necessarily go together.

If you don’t know about Lavell Crump check his evolution out right here! I think its interesting.

Be EZ,

OG


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

This Day

Ok so I’ve been bloggin’ since 12/2/2004. That means I am pretty close to almost 500 if you add this, my 78th blog, to the 200 on MSN (approx I didn’t feel like counting, there are no number counts on Spaces) and then the 206 on Yahoo I’m coming up on the 500th, I will really have to go home and count my Spaces post so I can let you know when I reach my collective 500th post! Man I really have a lot shyt to say huh?

So I thought I would look back in those archives and see what I was talkin’ bout two and three years ago. It seems I didn’t really have much to say last year this time, I think I was on my grind.

The summer of 2006 was a very big summer for me. It was the first summer of official single life. My divorce was final November 17, 2005. In 2006 I met three men who made a significant difference in my life, for different reasons. One of those men was TOM A. The Baby he was like 6’5” 300 plus playedpro-football for a minute, but he is like 8-9 years my junior. He is a professional Bodyguard now; he guards CEOs of corporations mostly. He’s always flying around the country, actually the world. The other I met around same time as TOM A maybe within two weeks of each other. We can call him TOM B, lol. TOM B is not available but we are still friends. Thank God he isn’t or who knows what kinda triangle I might be in, actually none. I can’t do drama; my DNA can NOT handle it.

They were the first men to really benefit and appreciate my outlook on life and love and helped me be ok being me. They didn’t try to be anything but who they were and they are friends, real friends to me.

So I plucked the blog I wrote this day two years ago. I planned on providing hindsight commentary on this blog. I thought it would be fun to see where I was in my life a few years ago, looking back always makes me excited for the future. Here we go!

This is what I was talking about in ’05 around this time. July 25, 2005


However I wanna talk about what I was talking about two years ago to the day. The date is the link to the original post, but below is the original post with some commentary added.

July 24, 2006
What it do? Man, I miss you guys a ton. So much so that my inability to see you guys at work doesn't stop me from blogging at work. It does stop me from reading blogs, commenting on blogs, quick commenting on blogs, and posting my blogs hot of the wire (well there is a small loop hole and I could post from work, but I wouldn't be able to see the post). So basically if I have a minute I write a blog and if I am still feeling it when I get to the house, I just post it. Not quite the same as full time interaction on the 3-6-0, but it works for me. It has to. Just know I love you guys.

Speaking of
The Wire, man it is almost time for Baltimore's gulliest cast to come back for season 4. I remember when I started watching The Wire; my ex said hey there is this show I want to catch its supposed to be the shyt. I said sure and from the first time I laid my eyes on Idris Elba (Stringer Bell) it really didn't matter what the show was about. See that is perfect mix of book smarts meets street smarts. I mean here is a man with an MBA applying corporate business principles to moving weight. The same way W be applying Thuggery principles to the White House!! I know its just TV, but if Imma phuck with a drug dealer it's gonna be a Stringer Bell, not a Poot or Bodie! Well maybe Bodie cause he takes excellent notes when Stringer be schoolin 'em LMAO. Good thing that HBO being HBO gave me a show with more than eye candy, they gave me GREAT TV. You really can't sleep on HBO's original programming it is OFF DA CHAIN!


The Wire, was one of the first shows that we set up on our Tivo. Man, I've been rocking Tivo for a long time, since like 03. This cat at work, Brently, was like you should get it Monique it will change how you watch TV. I mentioned it to my Ex and once but he wasn't really feeling Tivo until we went to some work party. It was there he heard the revolutionaryness of Tivo from B, we got a Tivo like the next week. (He is and was a technology junkie. I guess that's something that we had in common.) The Tivo was the one thing in the divorce I am glad I got.
Anyway, I am so excited because season three had so much action in it, so many story arcs to take. A friend of mine and I were discussing all the possible arcs the story can take now that Stringer is no longer in the picture. Who is gonna step up and run the crew? I don't think that Avon plans on stepping back down going into day to day ops, especially since he feels all the beef is not worth it. You gotta remember the last episode, when Avon finally GOT what String had been telling him all along. That this turf war was some BS and how they needed too get in where the REAL MONEY and crime was, guess what real money and crime was not in the ghettos of B-more, more like city hall baby!



Will Marlo and his crew just take over? Naw, man Barksdale is an institution in those towers, right? The thing is Stringer had finally realized where the real corrupt and big money was and of course it wasn't beefing in them streets, so will there be more in depth arc about the corruption in government, me thinks so. Then don't forget The Greek or Prop Joe, you think that those characters got introduced in Season 2 for nothing. What about Cutty, what's his deal is he gonna stay on the straight teaching the kids the finest points of boxing or will he go back to doing what everyone thinks he does best, thugging? The writing on The Wire is so great I can even begin to guess what I think is going to happen with these characters, I guess we'll see. Good thing is we don't have to wait long. What y'all think? I'm interested in seeing what other people think is gonna happen in Season 4. I ain't even gonna talk about Omar.



Man I still miss The Wire, Best TV there was!! It’s interesting looking at where I thought they would take the show and where they actually took the story. I’m getting ready to buy the box set. Wow what do you say about a woman who owns the SATC box set and The Wire box set? Well that is me and my black folk soul!! Worlds a clashing at every turn!


So, I was thinking about how much stuff my ex was always exposing me too. There are so many things that I like or think are cool that he introduced me to and vice versa. I definitely can attribute all my knowledge about comic books and porn to my ex husband along with a greater appreciation for sci-fi. Although the sci-fi thing started when I was kid hanging out with my big cousin, Wink. He was all about the sci-fi. I am sure my Ex is happy that I gave him appreciation for house keeping, home shows, and better ties. Oh and Nip Tuck and The Daily Show and ... HA! Anyway, I have come to realize that is what the circle of life is about, its about linking up your circles and making chains, sometimes those links are unbreakable like shackles, other times they are like those paper chains that kids made for Christmas trees in elementary school. Where did that thought come from? Who knows?


I just thought about this, once you are divorced, well for me, the ex-husband is the only man I really refer to as "The Ex" I mean the rest are just "this guy I usta date" or "this dude I usta phuck around with" I know so common, but it is what it is. I wonder if any ex will surpass the ex-husband. I doubt it. I think it's a title he should keep for buying me the rings that BLING. LMAO!!



Man I think I was ready! Completely healed from the relationship that was my marriage, ready to really be loved and loved. I could look back and really gather some wisdom from my situation. However I think I unpacked my bags this time instead of adding to them.


Official Catch Phrase named for the second half of '06
Speaking of "It is what it is" the other day a small quorum met (ok it was Tressa, Tia, and me) and we have decided that the phrase "It is What It Is" has become the official negro catch phrase of '06. Sure it started as the Corporate America catch phrase (which Mandy brought to us earlier this year also along with corporate buzz words like Town Halls and Diversity), with every mid-level manager using it to justify his/her numbers and accomplishments. Now it seems every black person in America is saying that. It reported as a phrase that some are hearing on the daily!! I gotta stay up on our catch phrases, how else am I supposed to know if I'm blacker than black and that's a fact y'all. Plus that phrase sounds like something uttered by
Yogi Berra can someone please verify the origins of "It is What It Is"? I bet Yogi said it, I mean he is the same man that gave us "It ain't over til it's over".


Weekend Update
My weekend was good and I didn't even go out, ok I did a little but not with the crew so it doesn't count. I guess I have just come to realize that my weekends will always be cool, because I have cool friends. We don't need much to make shyt fun, just each other. I love that someone can send an impromptu text to unite and a min-party/ laugh fest can start. It's nothing like people who love you for you. Not that I have ever been accused of not being me, because I will always be me, but it's all love. They love me just like I am good, bad and slutty! I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean there are so many YouTube moments as TGL would say, I may have to start walking around with my camera and a tape recorder. The picture up top is 1 Mo Yang!! Live in living color. Standing in the kitchen laughing at some bullshyt going ok this is some sitcom SHYT!! Phuck Clair Danes this really is my so called life and I am loving it!
OK he's cool!



Mandy told me the other day I gotta stop assuming mofo's are deadbeats. The thing is either I withhold all credit or I give you WAY TOO much credit, before you deserve it. She is right, this weekend I was pleasantly surprised to see the ambition in the eyes of someone who I think is cool. Nothing for me CEMENTS an attraction like a dude really being on his hustle. Nothing like a MAN on his grind, it is the sexiest thing to me. I'm talking that Rick Ross Hustle, baby…everyday he hustling.


Men who are actually doing what they want to do with their lives and making it happen are the sexiest men out there. They can be holding down a 9-5 while working their side gig (I dated a dude who used his size (6'5" 305) to his advantage, he owned a Bodygaurding Business on the side. He would make extra change on the weekend and vacation guarding the bodies of the rich and famous. OOO the dirt I found out about who hated who and divas that didn't like each other. Priceless), they could be owners of a small business growing it into a mid-cap (that's my ex. Building an empire one brush stroke at a time) or 3) or they could be doing their corporate thug fizzle showing the fantastical workings of the black man's brain (I know a few men like this, but none stands out more than the law student that I had a brief affair with. He was on his grind doing all kinds of things. Watching him get ready for school (on the days he had too work in the firm) in the morning was great. Nothing like a suit make a man look smashing. Really brothers you all should invest in one great cut suit in a good neutral color like gray or navy) As long as they ain't just putting lip service to dreams, you know the type all they do is talk about their dreams and ain't bit more made a move to make them happen other than telling you about the dream to get you wet cause they gotta dream! I wanna do this I'm gonna do that but then you realize it's a bunch of what they trying to do no steps have even been taken in that direction. LOL! Mandy wrote a blog about them a long time ago the dudes in Real Estate, Promoters, and.or doing their music.


I gotta stop assuming the worst in people; I think it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The old folks always talk about how you should watch what you say; because words are powerful and you could speak that shyt into existence. I do believe that on SO MANY different levels it isn't even funny.
Anyway, I am gonna say true ambition, you know action, not just words about action put this silly azz southern girl in check real quick. Ask my friends, ambition made me overlook height and hips!! On that note I'm OUT!!



Yep you guessed it! That was all about TOM A. This is the first time I can find that I knew I really liked him. Wow 2 years ago to this day I can be found going on record about him. Wow! That’s kind of powerful to me. I mean he impressed me enough to mention him in a round about way. That is the baby I was referring to, he usta bodyguard celebrities, but stopped because they never paid on time or period. Funny how I feel about my friends hasn’t changed ONE BIT! When I went home I felt the same way, we really should be recording my so called life! I really think that I live a blessed and favored life and thank God for it everyday, all of it even the parts that suck sometimes. I know it makes me a better person and more appreciative of all my blessing.

OH BEFORE I FORGET!! Geno and Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeva congratulations on making it official. H, I was not gonna tell you that when I got the text I was driving and I BUSTED OUT in a BIG GRIN!! I know ppl thought I was on medication (well I should be, but that's a blo for another day!) It always makes me SO HAPPY when I see people who make it, despite all the bullshyt that is life. They figure out what is truly improtant to them and they make it, no matter what the circumstances are. So to that trunicca and his grown azz woman I tip my glass and toast to you, can't wait to see you two make it official!

Be EZ,
OG


Same sig as always ...well you know I'm all about being EZ just cool no drama! Haven't always been that way, but been that way for a minute now. Be EZ!



Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Checking In!

OMG...So I had been working on this blog it was great and of course somehow, I managed not to save it or lose it or something. I had pre-wrote it because I knew I would be busy but hadn't proofed it or sectioned it off, I was planning to release it in three parts. I guess that means its not time to share that information with the world yet, oh well!!

The visit is going well went to the Cape today. It was cool, but I wish we would have just stayed here and tooled around oh well maybe next time. I am sure there will be one, seeing as I don't have any idea when this gig will be up. It's cool right night I still like it here!! *lol*

Oh yeah so I'm going to the Dominican Republic (Punta Cana to be exact) with the crew (that's my BFF, Mandy, and South Side Silky, yes her pimp hand is raised RIGHT NOW!! Crys). I'm excited it was a last minute kind of thing well 6 weeks last minute. We're going to a friends wedding. I applied for my passport Saturday before my mom got in. I looked like a penny on my passport picture but I refused to have him take it again, and be one of those people. You know the ones who retake government photos, so I will be looking shiny and copper for the next ten years of jet setting across the country!

Not too much else going on, well there is but no real time to blog about it. Maybe once the maternal visitation wraps up on Thursday. Duck Boat tomorrow after work!! I'm trying to make a few stops by the places I regularly hit up. Just know I may be too tired to comment, this could be a lurker week.

RIP Estelle Getty, 84 years is a pretty good life...I hope I get that many years and I hope they are half as funny as the lines she got to say as Sophia!

Be EZ,
OG

Monday, July 21, 2008

Dumbfounded

I am so tired of reading the standard and usually anonymous or obviously conservative response to why it IS ok for the right, namely neo-cons, to go after Michelle Obama. So today I can no longer hold my peace, I have to give my response as to WHY these claims are ASININE!

The most popular is, well if he doesn’t want her attacked then she shouldn’t be in the spot light.

My response to this is that is CRAZY thing I have ever heard, what other support gets attacked for supporting their candidate, but the wives of democratic candidates? Cindy McCain has campaigned for her husband and even if the Bush women thought there time better spent baking cookies and raising kids or whatever they did, truth be told these women also campaigned for there husbands. So did Elizabeth Dole. Now maybe they weren’t profiled as much because they weren’t campaigning to a constituency that media wanted to cover, or maybe it was the fact that the words they had to share were so vapid or empty no one cared. Or maybe its because the morally degenerate left, as right wing neo-cons like to paint them, believe in a higher moral ground than attacking a woman for supporting her husband while running for office. The point is these Republican wives campaigned for their husbands. These women were not smeared or disrespected by their opponents base while doing so.

The difference is for whatever reasons, if you ask me decency and they don't want to discuss the issues but practice bait and switch politics, those to the left of center and the center (if you count the Clintons and Obamas too-AB4AD) think that discussing (attacking) what a wife has to say has nothing to do with the candidate and what he will or will not do in office. And really I am inclined to believe them.
Hell, from what I have seen of Laura Bush, I don’t think she and her husband agree completely on everything he does politically, and they don’t have to. Hell I like to believe from what I see that Laura and the girls have a lot of liberal in them and their allegiance to the party comes more from family loyalty, plus WHO knows what lever they pull in the voting booth. Does anyone else see how the twins, especially Barbara, are MIA? Not campaigning or supporting anyone hell you barely saw them supporting there dad for term two. I have my own twisted liberal theories about that. Anyway.

The issues with saying well if a candidate’s wife campaigns for him (or husband in the case of HRC) is that part of being a spouse is about support. So when the wife of candidate is supporting her husband by actively campaigning (which I assume is at the request of their husband) she is sharing as a supporter why she supports her husband and why you should. I mean really how does it go again? One sec…

Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep him. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as you both shall live?"

Or if you aren’t religious maybe you said

I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband. Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all of your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.

Wow, help you when you need help. I don’t know about you, but I’d say B-Rock needs all the help he can get. We KNOW he needed it during his run for the Democratic nomination. Which is funny the Right was even attacking Michelle back then.

As we know there is a fine line between supporting and actually running almost running on the ticket with your mate. We saw the Clinton’s flirt with that several times, even with HRC claiming Bill’s experience to make her more qualified candidate for president.

However, Michelle has not overstepped those boundaries and the fact that she may have not always been proud as an American has nothing to do with her husband’s pride. I mean really, when did the views of a candidate’s wife matter? I mean there is not secret mind meld that I know of that takes place when you and your husband get married. Sure there are things where wives speak for husbands and vice versa, but can anyone tell me why Michelle's personal reflections on her life have to do with Barack being the President.

I 'm just so tired of people saying well she's in the spotlight she's game. Well can someone please tell me why no other supporters in this spotlight are being attacked by the machine. I mean unless you are an advisor to the campaign or of its employ I don't see any reason your support should be in the mouths of your opponent. I mean really come on.

Last time I checked Michelle was not employed by the campaign and from what I can tell, if elected it seems she plans on being a first lady, not a co-president.

I am just tired of that old party line well she should not be involved. Wow so she should not be a wife and support and help her husband fulfill his dream to be POTUS. That is a total load of crap if I ever heard one.

I am just so disappointed in America especially all this right wingers who claim to beleive in family values and God co-signing on the attacking of a man's helpmate. These same Americans who say America has lost our morals, are contributing to the moral decline when they scream about it being WHINEY when a man stands up and protects his wife. Wow, I thought that is what a husband is supposed to do. What does the Bible say? Oh yeah

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2: 18 (KJV)

Protect his wife. You know honor and valor. Wives are supposed to respect their husbands and husbands are supposed their wives as Christ loved the church. Last time I read Jesus died for his love of the church and the rest of crazy heathens to boot! For God so loved the world... Glamazons read the Bible too! I guess JC should have just faded to black and let the Pharisees and Sadducees run the church into the ground?


I am just completely dumbfounded that Americans who claim that the left is responsible for morale decline are cheering on ripping a wife to shreds because she has chosen to support her husband and share his views and show us he is great leader in her household. Wow...where's that Bible?

I can't believe that this American are either so blinded by hate ( hate of race, hate of political party, hate of women) that they cannot see they argument makes NO SENSE. I mean lets take Al Gore, they went after Tipper, but never Karenna. Children are off limits even grown ones. The truth is that the right hasn't found a way to tastefully do it and they also use their kids and young Hispanic nephews for schlepping around for boats too.

That's it, I'm tired of the pure insanity of some people and I will stop trying to make sense of the ravings of those who don't make any logical sense. I do know that Rove politics are about emotion and bait in switch. Divert attention from the real issues create fear and pandemonium and with the help of a few hanging chads or some irregular votes in Ohio you too can win an election with no real plan, other than GET THAT MONEY.
Oh well I'm not here to argue with the illogical just to vent my disbelief at the situation. Oh Well!

Be EZ,
OG

Friday, July 18, 2008

Guess who's coming to dinner, lunch, breakfast and Boston?

I'm so excited, I don't know if I mentioned it, but Momma OG is coming to town. She will be here Saturday afternoon and she will stay here til Thursday. I think this will be really fun for her. She has never been to Boston, actually I don't know how far north she has been. I do know she has been to Jamaica and Mexico.

Anyway, I am pretty excited. I don't have a lot lined up to do because my mom isn't really touristy, but I do have a few things. I'm sure we will check out Nantucket or P-Town one day next week and I plan to get her on a Duck boat. Other than that just plain old mother daughter time.

It's cool I'm looking forward to it. You guys have a great weekend and I'll be sure to give you at least one update on mom's visit.

Be EZ,
OG

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Youth is wasted on the YOUNG!

This weekend I was on okayplayer com checking out ?uestlove's blog. ( I LOVE HIM and THE ROOTS- I know Keith can tell us about that real illadelphia life!) anyways...

The blog I was reading was inspired by a snippet of a Stevie Wonder throw away track. ?uest was lamenting over the state of music etc. Look it really would help if you would just tool over there and read his blog. Go ahead....Go on... I promise I'll wait for you. Yep right here, not moving one foot.

Wasn't that a great blog (look if you didn't read it YOUR BAD cause you may need to use it get my points. Man all you had to do is go over there in read) Thatblog got me to thinking when I was 18 in 1991. I was in the beginning of one of the GREATEST eras of hip hop ever. I'd say the 90's was both the pinnacle of hip hop and it was also the beginning of the morphing of hip hop into popular music, "pop". When I was in college I witnessed LL tell us not to call it a comeback, I was introduced to a Tribe Called Quest while they were looking for their wallets in El Segunda, I witness the beginning of real raunchy rap Too Short style gain speed...I recall a certain rapper named Bust Down, I was introduced to a Ice Cube without NWA, I was told there wasn't NO FUTURE IN MY FRONTIN, and DJ Quick was telling me that tonight was the night. We learned how to Jump Around and Who was a black sheep, Moni was always in the Middle and La told is ladies first. Salt N Pepa came back harder each time. We were letting boys be boys and SLAM. We found how CREAM (Cash Rules Everything Around Me) really is the rule, I SWEAR that is W theme song.

Look, I could go on like how everyone in my click had that De La Soul Track on their answer machine. Hey how ya doing sorry you can't get through... I remember doing the Jubilee all the original song that inspired the songs that inspired Beyonce's extended version of Get Me Bodied. I met Naughty by Nature. I realized I was cool like that on my own digable planet. I was all up and through New Jack Swing. All I ever wanted to do was zoom zoom, the boom boom not so much (hey I was good girl! *lol*).I aerobic danced in the club, Oaktown 3-5-9 style.

My first recollection of ever hearing Biggie Smalls came from the fact that I went to a step show and my DJ friend Kip was excited that Biggie Smalls was performing he had just heard his stuff and Juicy had not yet dropped on the airwaves. It turns out this Biggie Smalls was some white kid with the lamest flow and that because this kid already had the name word was from Kip Biggie had to go with another name. Not sure how true the last is, but I do know there was a white kid names Biggie Smalls and I think that single went triple lent, FOR REAL! Or the fact that at this time Pac was doing the humpty dance.

Anyway, I just got to thinking how that experience was totally wasted on the young me. I keep thinking how that part of history is not the best memory I could have made for me if I had just appreciated it a little more. Now fast forward to now. If you people haven't noticed we are living in one of the most historical times of our young nation. Think about it we are in an unjust war, we will probably be in a serious depression, we saw the towers fall, we saw a woman run for presidential nominee and really, we will see a the first self-identified black man become the nominee of a major party, we may see the first self-identified black POTUS, we may also see the first older than the actual country POTUS.

We are living in important and pivotal times. And I don't know about you, but unlike when I missed the moment that hip hop may have jumped the shark, I don't plan on missing any of this. I urge you to stay awake and take in the world as it unfolds around you, this is going to be the kind of stuff you want to share with your grand kids, great grand kids and great great grand kids

Be EZ,
OG

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

This is for you G!

Okay, there has been a call to conversation sounded by my fellow sister in Vodka*, WNG. So, I feel that I should discuss my views and opinions and whatever on the Obama New Yorker cover. On Monday I didn’t want to talk about it because the type of layering and depth of conversation that needs to happen rarely happens on my blog. You know I like to save all the deep philosophical waxing for the comment sections of blogs like Raving Black Lunatic, Field Negro, Aries Rule, Go Zack, so on and so forth You know I’m OG I don’t bang I rock the dope rhymes. No, I actually do bang on the comment sections of many blogs.

Anyway G, did I mention she is whole and new, posted about the New Yorker cover and in our great exchange (either at her spot or Big Man's I can't remember now) she urged that I should discuss it here in my neck of the woods. So it is with that urging, that I will discuss the New Yorker cover, my feelings about it, and race in America. Feel free to get in where you fit in and weigh in on WHATEVER you want. I mean I realize that as far as this topic is concerned I’m on 6 second delay; however I think putting out what I feel about it couldn’t hurt. Just call me FCC OG!

So in this post I am going to talk about the cover, but really I want to touch on when do we move from conversation to action.

So the cover doesn’t work for me, because while the New Yorker is satirical the problem is this is not a JOKE to many Americans. I don’t at all believe the New Yorker or the Cartoonist who penned it to be racist. However the image is unsettling maybe because it is racist as far as Muslims are concerned, but what’s new. I know I said that flippantly on purpose, because 911 is an excuse American hate mongerers will always have to be racist against those of that faith. The fact that Obama has to work hard to prove he isn’t is unsettling. The fact you can send e-mails around town that picture him in Kenyan dress or with his African family and this be negative is GREATLY perturbing. The fact that these things, that should not be negative, have to be addressed as negatives – well that’s why I didn’t want to get into this on a Monday!

The complexity of race and religion in this country are not a Monday morning topic for me, especially on a limited amount of Sunday night Z’s that I had. I didn’t want to discuss this on Monday because the level of thought and conversation it takes to discuss something like this is no where near the kind of brain power I want to kick out on a Monday. Mondays are for transitioning and wishing I was independently wealthy or at the least on vacation somewhere tropical.

Anyway today I will talk about it. Because the problem is as I see it, America is not ready to face its good, bad, and slutty history. I guess the issue for me is that America just does not act …is not poised to be … READY to move here. I agree with WNG when she says if not NOW then when. She is right, America has never been ready. Not ready to fre slaves. Not ready to stop Jim Crowe. Not ready to talk about gay marriage. Not ready… Not ready …Not ready. So G, I see your point when will those that are the victims be ready to push, like Malcolm and Martin and Rosa.

I see lots of positive conversation about this cover from those who are offended, not offended, and like me unsettled by it. I like Deacon Blue ( regular on Big Man’s RBL blog) can not put my finger on it but something about this cover bothers me, other than it not being a funny joke to me. Like Big Man, I don’t find the cover a boycottable offense (I’ll save that for the gazillion corporations advertising on Fox, that I am trying to boycott) but I do think if, just like him, you have to explain it, it kinda loses the point and its not that funny. I guess if I could really think about it and put my finger on it, I would say the things these neo-cons are peddling are not AT ALL a laughing matter. The propaganda they are pushing is dare I say it, NOT COOL. It’s like saying isn’t it ok to make fun of the Nazi’s by doing a cartoon that Jewish folks are the center of.

I’m mean sure there are some things racially that I can take the joke and see the humor past the offense, I mean how else would I know SO MANY Chris Rock punch lines. However the fact that they use the fear and scare tactics to get America to at the least to not vote for Obama, is sickening and just not something I would make light of by using the very targets. Mel Brooks’s movies make fun of Hitler, not Anne Frank. I don’t know maybe it doesn’t make sense. I mean after all this blog is on 6 second delay the topic has pretty much BEEN discussed to DEATH by now.

I’d rather talk about the how. How does America move to the conversation about race? Who should make this call; I mean I think Obama’s speech on race was a great way to really open it up. I think person’s of mixed lineage are great people to take the lead in the conversation because we know kindablacks (black and white mixed) often see the best and the worst of being black and white in America. This is what I see as the biggest problem we have with us moving past. I said this on Big Man’s blog and I will retype it here for those of you who don’t read him.

The problem is two fold, white America is uncomfortable facing the fact that they are racially insensitive, at best, and black America is uncomfortable with the fact that we do a have some holes in our drawers [underwear], metaphorically speaking, even though we weren’t the ones who put the moths in our lingerie drawers.

Can I just say I LOVE quoting myself? It really is fun! I can. I LOVE quoting myself.

I think that it is a mix of calling out racism, but having some personal responsibility too. Sure I have issues with America, but I can not think of any other place I would want to be a woman. I think America is a land of opportunity, but that land is also filled with land mines on that road.

So do you think that is what this race conversation comes down to? I’m not talking about the cover of the New Yorker or even the Presidential Campaign. I am talking about in your everyday. I think in my everyday I have been blessed enough to have white friends that get it or at least are open to getting it. They don’t dismiss when people are racially offended, but at the same time I call out black folks who cry racism and it isn’t. I think because of that while I hate and abhor the things that happen in the world, my world is actually not filled with too many bad racial moments. Even when they are I make them teaching moments.

I try to find the positive spin on things. I remember talking to some black alums about interviewing potential high school students for admissions. The complaint was, no black ones to interview. My charge to them was YOU don’t need black ones to interview. Sure we all want more diverse colleges and universities, but think of the impact YOU have as a black alumni interviewing a white male high school kid, YOU FOREVER change his view of the school and who goes there.

Yeah, I’m so about the salad bowl and not the melting pot. Or maybe I should say more like soup, where the flavors of some things meld together and other flavors still stand out and are distinctive. Is that a bad analogy? I guess I was thinking more of soup because there are plenty of things that have blended together here, but at the same time there are plenty of things that are different and will always be different. I don’t want to melt into goo, but I also don’t want a culture that isn’t cohesive to a degree.

Ok I’m out too much thinking for today. Let me know what you think.

Be EZ,
OG

*Sister in vodka- someone who enjoys the finest alcohol around

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

A Blog they Luved ( I'm still not so sure about that one!)


Since, Big Man kinda outted me in the comments, I probably should have shared on Monday, but well if you know me. I am the woman who keeps her degree behind a door in her TV Room.

Anyway this wasn’t hard blog to make, nor do I expect it do much other than let mainstream bloggers know there is this whole sphere of relevant conscious black talk going on, not just people who are looking at the latest pictures of Bey and Jay (not that THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!!). There are several ways to be featured on the site, I really liked the 10 questions, so I answered them this weekend, submitted my answers via e-mail and then the editors at BlogsWeLuv mailed me Sunday to tell me I would be featured this Monday. I urge a few more of you to go over and just answer the questions; they really help you get an ideal of what your blog is. Hence all the talk last week about my blog I had been pondering those darn questions. *lol*

I don’t think there was any fierce competition, but answering them was pretty fun. So if you want check me out over there. Click Here

Just to make this interactive I thought it would be interesting to know how you found my blog.

I’ll tell you if you tell me, although most of my answers will be the same one “Crys sent me this link to your blog, before I started regularly blogging.” *lol*

Be EZ,
OG

I really am a GROWN UP

So I was on the phone with my friend Bus Chick talking. Life, mainly work, kids, and four thousand miles, keep us from chatting on any kind of regular basis. We tend to talk at least monthly or when something important happens, which ever comes first. The impromptu stuff takes at least two voice mails and a couple of text to set up the actual call.

A few things happened this weekend when talking to my friend. As many of you know I've been having some milestone things happen in my life, well just some cool things maybe not milestone. This weekend seemed like a good time to give the life update to my girl. We chatted as usual and caught up on what's been happening in each others lives. Hers of course filled with the typical lentement things mixed with the cool exciting life as a professional writer. It's funny we hardly ever talk about her day job, I guess that how I know that writing is her true profession and I definitely knows it the one she loves. I think she will do it. She's already my Carrie Bradshaw ( well, the kinda black, environmentalist, transit version), now she's on the buses in Seattle (just like Carrie) and she is on her way to a conference to pitch her book to an agent. I am so proud to call her my friend! Did I mention she also has a weekly column in Real Change, a free paper in Seattle. Anywho

As we were talking I mentioned something about my married life and when I finished she tells me that she almost forgot I was married. I took that statement as positive, because it means my references to my old life are fewer and farther between, at least to people I don't talk to regularly. I mean I doubt Mandy will ever forget I'm married (oh the price one pays as a BFF). Anyway, I think that means I'm healing. I won't say healed because only a fool would believe they are completely healed over something without doing the real evaluation that one needs to do to pronounce themselves healed. I haven't done that self-evaluation yet. I've started it, but lets just say the kinda evaluating that I have to do is going to take real deep thought, meditation and prayer. Good news is...I feel I am almost there.

The other thing that came to mind while talking to Bus Chick about life, is that I am really a grown up. I am a full functioning self-sufficient grown up. When I think of my life as a kid and thinking what my grown up life might be, I have to admit this is not at all what I imagined. Actually it is better than I imagined. I have a life that has been full of ups and downs and all the way arounds. I have a life that is full of love and solid relationships. I have people in my life who understand who I am and who have the same mindset I do. I have people in my life who ask me the hard questions because they know it will make me better. I have people in my life who love me, flaws and all ( had to get my Beyonce love on there!!). I have people in my life who I love and respect not because of who they are or the cool things the do but because of the content of their characters and the brightness of their souls. Wow I am an adult. I am a happy adult. And I am a blessed adult.

Sure my life is not perfect and this world is far from it, but I can say that I am happy with me. Sure I need to improve on things and no one is perfect, but I am so comfortable in my now. My life has room for improvement, I got all kinds of thAngs (yes thaAngs are super serious things) happening around and to me, but I am happy with me. Everything I can control in my life I am controlling. And not over controlling it.

I think before I went overboard my idea of control was perfection. The things I could control I obsessed over and tried to make them perfect. I tried to be the perfect friend, employee, person. Then I realized that control is not perfection and if I stopped trying to be perfect and just tried to control the controlable things, then I would be fine. The problem with chasing perfection is its a double edge sword. It makes you better and more driven but it also can make you unrealistic in your view of things and expectations of people. Whoever said relax, relate, release was a GENIUS!! Because nothing will ever be perfect becasue that would mean the things you can control and the things you can't control have aligned perfectly for a moment of serendipity that only happens in the movies.

However it doesn't matter how controllable the things in life are, the uncontrollable things will interfere with them. If you are chasing perfection an uncontrollable thing can wipe out your controllable world. If your aim is just to control things an uncontrollable thing will make you make adjustments. I hope that all made sense. I just was thinking. You know since now I am a real live adult I figured I'd do that, I was told that's what adults do, THINK.

Be EZ,
OG

Monday, July 14, 2008

Just Thinking

What to blog about today? First off I can't even bring myself to discuss this. I am completely and utterly speechless. So I will move on, because I just can't talk about it, but I sure will be making my rounds to read what the blogsphere is discussing regarding it, blogs have been hot since Sunday, but many bloggers keep a M-F schedule, so today should be very interesting, racist comments and all. The sad thing is I am almost sure MORE of this will come and probably much worse. Oh America...

I guess its fitting, because after all it is Monday. Mondays are not my friend, they put a complete and total stop to my shiftlessness. Blogging has infiltrated my empty thoughts. I often find myself thinking total utterly useless and completely empty thoughts. You know thoughts that have absolutely NO nutritional value. Actually not all things with no nutritional value are bad. A few things come to mind that I think are completely ok with no nutrients like alcohol (especially Vodka), sugar, sugary alcoholic drinks. Anyway

When I was back home driving in my truck (actually its not a truck its a SUV, but I hate using SUV) that cost me the price of one T pass to fill up. Gas price gotta love 'em right. Well anyway I was driving listening to Jay Z's Kingdom Come, look I don't know why but I was. Anyway the hook goes like this

I will be... King of New York
I will be... New York
Not only NYC I'm hip hop's savior
So after this flow you might owe me a favor

When Kingdom Come, You ready?
When Kingdom Come, Uh-Huh
Not only NYC I'm hip hop's savior
So after this flow you might owe me a favor


So this is where my empty thought came in. My thinking was if Jay-Z is truly indeed hip hop's savior what would that mean in the context of the Bible. If he is the savior of hip-hop, that would mean that Biggie was John the Baptist. I mean really think about it, if you know your Bible or went to Vacation Bible School for a few summers you know that everyone was on John the Baptist's jock. Can I say that? Anyway you get the picture. Many thought him to be the Messiah. The people loved JB and they couldn't get enough of him and depending on what religious scholar you talk to that that popularity lead to his death, well that and the prophecy. Anyway, I mean really think about it JB talked about there is one greater than me. Now of course Biggie never said that about HOV, but as far as history goes Jay Z will die being perhaps the greatest rapper alive or at the least leave a strong argument as to why he should be. I won't go through all the biblical similarities the two have with JB and JC I'm just saying think about it.

I guess that would leave Damon Dash to be Judas, in a much simpler form. I mean really there was a radical turn with the split from the Roc. I mean he didn't kill him but I'm not really trying to make a verse to verse comparison between Jay and JC. I was just thinking empty thoughts. Then after I had it I thought I should blog that and see what the world thinks. *lol*

I mean maybe this thought does have some nutritional value. I often think about hip hop (not the commercial stuff) has this religious influence. I think that because of the black church's influence in the black community. There's a course at my Alma mater about hip hop and the church, if I was still an undergrad I would take it, because just sounds really interesting. I should see if I can audit the class when I get back to the H.

Other than that this Monday I'm not really too inspired to chat about much. I spent a lazy weekend catching up on house work and sleep, and to be honest I could use more time. Oh Monday why do you come SO SOON!?!

Be EZ,
OG

Friday, July 11, 2008

Blogification

So, I was at this site today. They rank black blogs (BBR- Black Blog Ranking). What stood out to me was the classification of the blogs. You know, entertainment, social commentary, political blah blah blah. So I came to one conclusions we black blog surfers sure do like a lot of politics and entertainment as black folks. 9 of the Top 10 blogs were either entertainment or politics. Only one was social commentary.

Then I did not come to another conclusion, which was what kinda of blog am I. Not that it matters because I doubt I'll crack the BBR top 2ooo, but I just want to know what do you call a blog that is a potpourri of things, that is political some days, entertainment driven on a few and offers plenty of commentary on things in society which she lives and others she doesn't.

I don't know... I was just wondering. I mean maybe it should be called creative outlet, but then no because this is all real. Nothing to create except how I choose to present you my life. Maybe reality blogging. I mean really for me I don't approach this blog as place to write articles or debate worthy prose. I do not approach this blog pad with preconceived notions.

I come to this blank screen and I create my reality in a packagable, witty, and fun kinda of way. I come to this blank screen and sometimes my reality includes politics and sometimes I come to this blank screen and my reality is gossip and trife, sometimes I come to this blank screen and my reality requires me to comment on the daily ills of today's American Society.

Every time I come to this blank screen my reality is always a black one.
Every time I come to this blank screen my reality is always female.
And Every time I come to this blank screen my reality is always southern.

I know that while I bring you my reality, my reality is tinged with black, woman, and southern notions and ideas. My reality is different from yours because its full of many other things that intersect and run parallel with my blackness, womanhood, and southerness. The likelihood that our realities are similar other than on a macro level is micro.

Anyway...do you know what kinda blog you are (if you're a blogger)? Have you ever really thought about it? I mean there are so many some are reality, others are inspirational, others are entertaining, others are teaching, others are social ( you know where the commenters spend more time talking to each other than they do commenting on the post). There are so many out there and they are all tinged with the things that the authors most strongly identify with in their lives. Do you know what you would classify your blog as if you someone asked you?

You know mine is reality, black southern female reality

Be EZ,
OG

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Replaced already


I heard this chick today and I know I am WAY behind because she is performing on Letterman tonight, but hey I don't listen to ANY radio here and I have organic TV (no cable). So I'm sheltered. Actually after I researched her, I found I had heard her before on Grey's, one of my favorite shows just in case you are ever in an OG Trivia contest.

Her name is Adele and her web site is calling her the NEW Queen of British Soul. I really would like to know if that is that's what is really being said in the UK , especially since I just read that hip hop and R&B are supposedly dead there.



I guess Amy can now go find that pipe and get back to business looks like that have a cleaner version (ALL PUN INTENDED) of you! Since I like all kinds of music I think this is definitely good mellow stuff.

Adele's my space

Adele's Website
Be EZ,
OG

The Fallout

Actually fallout isn’t a good word for it, but it’s what comes to mind. You know the dust that settles after an explosion or accident, fallout. Not all fallout is bad, sometimes the fallout that settles is a good residue that reminds you what life is all about. Sometimes the fallout is the rainbow after a torrential down pour. Sometimes the fall out is the lady bug lighting on a freshly rained on leaf. Sometimes the fall out is realizing someone really does have your back and is for real. That’s the fallout. Sometimes we go through horrible and horrendous and hideous things and find out in the fall out precious rainbows of friendship and understanding. A stronger bond than before, a bond that is almost indestructible.

I would be lying if I didn’t say my friendship with my BFF became its strongest after we lost a very close friend, no not death we lost her to trife. We spent months recovering from that together and being there for one another, it was in those moments we became sisters. She cried and I cried and we cried and we got through the metaphorical death of someone who had fooled us both. We rebuilt together. I think we had always been good friends but in those months we became best friends.

In my life I have had several events that I would call catastrophic. I have lost family, loves, friends, and husbands over things that could have been worked out if people had listened and taken time to be who they really were. In all honesty, on the husband front that was more my bad than HR’s. Anyway through the storms of these events I was left with a rainbow of friendship and understanding that I wasn’t prepared for. I knew with out a doubt who truly loved me and respected my friendship and who had no respect for my friendship. I said all that to say, this weekend I think I became TOM A’s rainbow of friendship and understanding. Actually I have been for a minute, he is going through some REAL THANGS right now, but he keeps telling me he is so surprised and thankful that I am here and that I am the friend I have claimed to be. As you guys know MANY people are not who they claim to be when the chips are down.

That feels good because I take pride in friendship, which is why when I tell you I AM YOUR FRIEND you better believe it. There have been people that I have befriended and given the world simply because they were friends of a friend. There have also been people that have taken that very same friendship and thrown it in my face, but I had to make a choice not to let one person’s mistreatment of my special gift (not to be confused with my special purpose – you need to have seen the Jerk to get that one) stop me from giving it to others. When you allow the sins of the father to affect YOUR treatment of the son that is when you start packing shyt around with you. And let’s face it baggage is baggage whether it’s a brown paper bag or a Louis Vuitton trunk. Once it’s open its full of the same shyt! It even works in race relations can’t treat all X colored people this way because of your interaction with OTHER X colored people.

I’m a doubter by nature and I am often waiting for the other shoe to drop, especially in relationships. It seemed for a while they were dropping all over the place, I was having nuclear explosions and some of the fallout wasn’t rain but slow burning acid that took a while to fester into an explosion of its own. Anyway, my choice to love TOM A despite my grave fear of being hurt beyond measure has been one that I don’t regret and also the reason I think I’m his rainbow as his explosion in life settles down. I think he realized for the first time in a long time, I love him. Not who he is or is to become. I also think I got thumbs up from the family, but who knows on that one.

When I saw him Monday he asked me how I liked the reunion and we talked and I could feel like this NEW openness with him. He is cryptic in his communication, at best, and most of what I know I know because I know him and we have known each other for 3years this month. I know when he is in a bad mood not because he tells me, but because I know what his bad moods look like from exposure to his good and bad moods. I know when something is on his mind or when he feels like talking because we have been friends for so long. I also know that yesterday was a new TOM A, a different one. The questions he asked me, the openness about his family, and the goodbye. Those were the things that have shown me that he feels at ease in his vulnerability with me. It was the same openness I felt after my trip home in May when we spent time together.

Yep, this is a case where fallout is really good nothing nuclear about it!!

Be EZ,
OG

PS- new terms are being added to the Glamosary

1) PG- short for Personal Gay. A term I use because one of my brothers is gay. So as a gay man he answers many questions for me, kinda like Paul Mooney in ask a black guy. Anyway one day I was sharing some gay tidbit and Mandy was like wow you have like your own personal gay. Crys has a gay best friend and another good friend who is gay; they both are her personal gays. I like that term way better than the derogatory F*g Hag.

2) Trife- short for trifling. Trife is anything that you consider in poor taste or out and out trifling, generally for me most of my trife happened when I was in college, but I have some adult trife too.

3) Dammie- Dammie comes from Pootie Tang and it is actually Main Dammie, I never just use dammie. Biggie Shortie ( played by Wanda Sykes) was Pottie’s main dammie. Since Biggie Shortie kinda looked like a ho I guess a main dammie could be considered the bottom bytch, but since she slapped that guy and told him just cause she was out on the street corner dressed like a ho didn’t mean she was ho, I guess it isn’t a bottom bytch. Main Dammie is another word for BFF or very good friend.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

I'm BLACK (oh and I'm back from the H too)!

Wassup fam?

Miss me? Hope not I tried to leave you with a few blogs to hold you over. Yesterday was a travel day. I thought I would want to blog, but I just wanted to catch up on some sleep I missed while visiting home. My holiday trip home was great. Lots of fun.

My Mom is SO cute
As many of you know my mom misses me something terrible. I didn't really go away for school, so this is the first time we have been a part like this. When I walked out of the airport Friday morning at 8:30am (yep I took a 5:30am flight in) I heard someone scream my name and cheers. When I looked over it was my mother standing outside jumping, clapping, and screaming my name. Man does THAT make a girl feel good. Actually it makes a girl feel great. My mom is so cute. If she had been able to do this when I was a kid, instead of working like a dog to take care of me and my baby bro, I really could have been somebody! Adulation is TRULY addicting, I can see how fame makes one go crazy. I'm just famous with my momma and I'm two snaps from being straight jacketed.

Home sweet home
Man I do love my house. I miss it. I actually came home to a pretty nasty water leak but I was able to get it taken care of and left my house with a half bath that needed new sheet rock. Don't worry. I was able to leave my mom in charge of taking care of the cosmetic stuff. Once I got home and settled I made WNG's fabulous Vodka punch YUMMY!! Vodka is great! It's the official wonder drug of Glamazons everywhere. I met up with the framily at my BFF's house and went to our favorite brunch spot, LePeep. LePeep has long been a ritual for us, we meet there on one day out of the week at least 2-3 weekends a month. It was fun as BFF, Crys, and I caught up on all the things we don't get to discuss in e-mail. Fun Fun Fun. I got to see TOM A briefly and that's always nice.

We went to see Hancock. Yes I gotta a lot to say about that, but Imma wait for the world to see it before I blog about it. I do have two questions that will help me formulate my opinions about the movie. Was this script written for Will Smith? and what was the race of the story writer? The movie was ehh, completely saved by Smith, Bateman, and Theron. If it had been three other actors I don't think this movie would have made it past being a TBS original movie.

Saturday was a lot of fun. I got to go to TOM A's family reunion deep in the heart of Texas. I may be a city girl, now. However I will remind you, you can take the girl out of the country but YOU CAN NEVER take the country out of the girl. There is something about being down home and with country folks that is just comforting to me, maybe its the large quantities of food or just the good old fashion take care we southern blacks love to give. I met all his aunts and uncles on his mother's side. I finally got to meet his sister after talking to her on the phone forever. I also got to meet his father and his daughter (his mom is deceased). HOwever in the country it is comon for the widower and/or ex-husband still to attend family functions, hence his dad being there. Meeting his dad helped me piece his puzzle together quite nicely, although he claims his mom would really help me.

His daughter was great, its funny when he talks about or interacts with her it makes me love him even more, if that is possible. He was telling me how much he loved his daughter because she is a kid. She isn't interested in being grown, just being the kid that she is. He gave her mother and grandmother kudos for the job they do raising her. She is really a cool kid. Their relationship reminds me of my father and my relationship. She's a smart girl and she loves her daddy and she loves him with no expectations of who he should be. It was really nice. I had a really nice time reuniting with his family.

Saturday night was just a night to hang out and chill with the framily. We sat around talking and cracking jokes on each other. We were waiting for the Asheronian to finish barbecuing a brisket he had bought for the weekend. I thought I wanted to go out, but I didn't. I just wanted to be around the framily and keep it real.

Sunday I got to go to church and after church I had to meet up for BFF time at Chuy's, one of my favorite Mexican food restaurants in the city. I normally hit up Cafe Adobe , but I need some green sauce and grilled shrimp tacos. Yummy. After Chuy's I spent a little time with my mom. We chatted and talked and just enjoy each other. Then I took a MUCH needed nap. Sleep what a valuable commodity. Monday was cool went to see my dentist. I had to get my crown set. Spent Monday chilling with Mandy and Crys just girl talk. Girl talk face to face is ALWAYS fun. Then back home to pack and get my mind right for going back to Da Bean.

Sorry this is such a boring blog, but you know I had to keep all the good stuff out. I'm sure some things may turn up as blogs later, but not right here where you can trace the origins so easily. Just know I had an AWESOME time home. There is no place like it. How was your holiday weekend? I know...I know...I'm late. *lol* Now I need to go blog hop. I have A LOT of catching up to do.

Be EZ,
OG

Monday, July 7, 2008

Glamosary...It's My World

So it’s a holiday and I have decided to do some blog admin work. I have decided to give you a mini-glossary of terms of the life of OG. Some you will get others you won’t with out some significant back story. I will try to update it and even link to it on my right hand side!! I figure since it’s Monday after the 4th and I said my peace that. I’d do some admin work and post a reference document, so I can actually hyperlink to it for reference in my blog!! If there are any other OGisms on my blog or IRL (yes real world friends this is open to you too!). If you would like me to add/explain something, please add it in the comments of this blog along with any comments of love and affection you would like to pass on.

If you didn’t know, I am a former comment whore, don’t fret I have found Jesus and now I am no longer tricking for comments. Anyway here is this Glamazon Chronicle's Glossary of Terms . This should help you navigate my waters a little easier ( ooooo that sounds so nasty! ) Enjoy!



Be EZ,

OG


OG's Glossary of Terms



AB4AD - Another blog for another day. I often used this to corral my ADD and tendency to run off on tangents while blogging.

Asherionian - This is the name for a friend who is like a brother we have other names but this one is my favorite, next to Silky Ashy. We also refer to him as DNL and he is a specialist at DNL, but I can’t tell you I’d HAVE to kill you, for real.


Be EZ - This is my goodbye sig. I have used it for years now. I usta say make it do what it do, but really ...I mean really! I think Be EZ fits me and my blog SO MUCH better.

BBTAM - Not my phrase, but I use it freely, Bad (not bad meaning good but bad meaning poorly) Built Than a MoFo. This term is a bit sexist and really not all inclusive at all, but eh I’m not perfect. I know a woman is not her shape, but …actually I have not excuse for that it, but helps when explaining what a girl, you might not like, looks like to your friends after seeing her on a date with your man, crush, ex, or TOM A . For example “ She was NOT CUTE and she was BBTAM too girl”

BFF - Well you folks know this as Best Friends Forever, but when I use it here on dis here blog it refers to Mandy my fellow Glamazon. If I’m the Original Glamazon, then she is Glamazon 2.0, because she a little younger and a little taller. Most times she doesn’t make me feel too old but I am proud that she has accomplished so much in her life at the tender age 30.

Black Kennedy - It’s a new term, I have grown tired of black bourgeoisie and “bougie” as terms for blacks who think their status is more than what it is and blacks who status is more than what mine is. I actually like it for ALL middle upper-class blacks. Plus sometimes I think “bougie” carries a negative connotation, while to me Black Kennedy can be a “Bougie” former hood rat or a true upper eastside BAP. I’m toying with Obamalot Royalty, but eh I don’t know. Thoughts?

BOF- Blunt(s) Of Fiyah!! Come on, you already know what that s. I do NOT need to define this any further.

B-Rock – Barack Obama when I think he is doing the damn thing WWE style, you know do you SMELL what the B-Rock is cooking.

Bumble Bee - An OG past time. It refers to very light skin men , also referred to as pretties, who have dark hair and eyes. It actually can apply to white guys too but they have light eyes and dark hair, Brian Bloom is a white bumble bee who comes to mind. It’s about the contrast or something. Anyway the bumble bee is a lover of OG and consequently she is a lover of the bumble bee ESPECIALLY those with goatees, but OG loves ‘em all I DO NOT DISCRIMINATE. Fine is fine. (that was me channeling my inner TO by talking in 3rd person).

Bus chick - Carla who is my main dammie and roommate from college. She is also the keeper of ALL MY TRIFE, but I have insurance as I am the keeper of hers and my memory is much better than hers. She is also my Carrie Bradshaw, because she blogs for the PI and she is on the side of a Seattle busses now! Check her out she is on the right hand side.

Bus chicklet - The offspring of the bus chick and bus nerd who is named after the Original bus chick, Ms. Rosa Parks, and one of the most divalicious women I have ever known, Caroline (bus mom). Both are no loner with us so MUCH RESPECT. also known as bus baby

Bus Nerd - Her husband, I will not mention his name only his internets name which is Black Helicopter.

Dammie - Dammie comes from Pootie Tang and it is actually Main Dammie, I never just use dammie. Biggie Shortie ( played by Wanda Sykes) was Pottie’s main dammie. Since Biggie Shortie kinda looked like a ho I guess a main dammie could be considered the bottom bytch, but since she slapped that guy and told him just cause she was out on the street corner dressed like a ho didn’t mean she was ho, I guess it isn’t a bottom bytch. Main Dammie is another word for BFF or very good friend.

Framily - A concatenation of the words friends and family. It's the term I use for my inner circle of friends. The people who are like family, but not blood. My friends and I are very close we do things together and behave as a family unit. It reminds me of my mother and her sisters when I was younger. I think its a southern thing these huge extended families. In Baytown I grew up with 12 other 1st cousins (maternal) that were more like brothers and sisters. Whether we are kicking it at the Honeycomb Hideout or hanging the streets we got each other. There is nothing like framily, because unlike your family these people are the blood you choose

Glamazon - Any woman who has that panache of combining glamour and beauty with OVERPOWERING drive and strength or anything else seen as masculine. That’s my definition many think it’s a glamorous Amazon, which it is. However, aren’t amazons the juxtaposition of being very masculine yet feminine. Amazon is the harbinger of female strength! So, you do not need to be 12 ft tall to be a glamazon? Nope, just a beautiful strong woman!! That’s it! But I hardly ever just give the title out to folks or use it in reference to others, but myself in my crew. But I know other Glamazons are out there. I see you SHINING!!

HR - This will be how I refer to my ex FROM now on. It stands for something that I can’t tell you, only because I’m trying to be nice to my former husband in this very public blogsphere. However if YOU HAVE to know e-mail me I MIGHT….MIGHT…tell you if I like you.

Hoodrat things - This isn’t mine I got it from him and when I first read about and saw this video here, I knew I too enjoyed doing hoodrat things. Not as a way of life, OF COURSE not silly that would make me a hoodrat, but definitely on occasion.

HillBilly - a derogatory term for HRC most often used when she (and Bill) were trying to slander my boy, B-Rock.

Internets - My secret way, or not so secret, if your follow politics, to make fun of W. He referred to the internets in a debate with John Kerry. And everyone just acted like he wasn’t a damn fool for adding the S. So for the most parts on this blog I refer to the WWW as internets. Not always because it is important that some people know that both I and my keyboard are smarter than George W. Bush

Kindablack - My term for folks of mixed race, I don’t use it often here. But since I am creating this BLOG glossary I might as well use the terms I often use in real life it will make blogging easier. I use this term because you experience the FULL rights of being black but you still get to shout out to your other raced parental units.

Lentement - Not mine either, belongs to the 206 busfam. Long story, but basically means all things yuppie and soccer mom and sometimes wack. Its like smurf it can be used in any combination when speaking negatively of things, people, or places.

PG - short for Personal Gay. A term I use because one of my brothers is gay. So as a gay man he answers many questions for me, kinda like Paul Mooney in ask a black guy. Anyway one day I was sharing some gay tidbit and Mandy was like wow you have like your own personal gay. Crys has a gay best friend and another good friend who is gay; they both are her personal gays. I like that term way better than the derogatory F*g Hag.

MixedFolks.com - Folks who are mixed with other things besides black. All kindablacks are mixedfolks.com, but not all mixedfolks.com are kindablacks. You know like a square and a rectangle.

Matrixed - You already know this, it is common slang but I often use it in reference to the many bullets I have so expectly dodged in my life, but mainly the biggest which is procreation with HR. I matrixed that one BIG time, I have this feeling if we had had children together and then divorced I would be ONE BITTER BYTCH!! So right here is where I do my happy dance.

OG - Me, Original Glamazon. The Original. Original, as in black is Original and Original as in like no other and Original as in first (all though not so sure about that but I’ll take it, been using it for years and using it since 02 for sure , with friends and I’ve been OG on the “internets’ since ‘04 baby!!) I'm NOT an original gangster, just for the record. I don't bang I rock the dope rhymes, yup me and CUBE.

Pretty - A term used for light skinned folks it is the defiant play on the light skinned myth that continues to live an thrive in the south. You know how some folks like to think just cause you’re light skinededededed you are prettiest. Contrary to popular belief, not all kindablacks are pretties some are various shades of brown and tan.

Ricial - the Asheronian made this up for the thoughts I have and things I say. Usually he will say this when I bust out with something overly thought out or complex like before he used Ricial he usta be like "ONLY YOUR SMART AZZ would be thinking about the affect on Darfur as we drink this forty" Then I would explain it was drinking the 8ball reminded me of a time in college when I snuck in forties to the Rice v. UT game, then that made me remember Carla SPILLED hers and had is both smelling like drunk winos, then that reminded me of Carla and all her activism and how she was like the Don Cheadle of me life always researching causes and shy, and Don Cheadle reminded me of Rwanda first, but then that reminded me of how there’s some BULLSHYT going on in Darfur right now. His reply probably mid-way through that would be RICIAL.That my friends is being Ricial at it's best including the thought pattern. Also means of or pertaining to Rice University

Sam Jonesin - I go this from -1- but I love it because she used it to mean I love you but I love ME more. I like I hope she won’t be too mad at me for putting into my personal vocab! I twriked it little and made it a verb as in, I’m sam jonesin theese fools!

Shalamar - A term for a couple who is getting ready to make that move right now whether it be from TOM A to BF or BF to Fiancé or Fiancé to Husband. It also can be used for any other transition in life that requires making a move. Went all shalamar and moved to Boston on these fools!

Sister in vodka - Another woman of like mind who enjoys the finest alcohol around

South Side Shelley - Michelle Obama. Nuff said!

South Side Silky - I only use this when her pimp hand is raised and I haven’t used it since I coined South Side Shelley, too confusing. However she is always threatening to raise her pimp hand, but as long as it is down this is a reference to my friend Crys. I refer to her and have conversations with her through blog (she answers me sometimes in my head) which is just a ploy to get her lurking azz to say something anything, but she refuses, most times, choosing to sit back in the cut like deep throat in quiet colors fit for the southern lady that she is.

The good, bad, and slutty –This is my colorful phrase, I use it to mean real, keeping it 100. A play on the good, bad, and ugly BUT nothing in my life is really ugly. I consider it all part of life. Howevr I am sure some might say some of my life is slutty, you know how some people are.

TOM A – The Object of My Affection. It’s the name I use for my male friend. We aren’t really going all shalamar on folks, but he is special and deserves some kinda name, when I refer to him COUNTLESSLY, like the fool in love that I am. I like this because I never have to change it even if who TOM A is actually changes. Of course I’m sure you would know if that happened because there would be many blogs about the beginning of the end, the end, the post end wrap up, lessons learned, the new beginning blah, blah, blah.
Trife - short for trifling. Trife is anything that you consider in poor taste or out and out trifling, generally for me most of my trife happened when I was in college, but I have some adult trife too.